A therapist on TikTok has fueled an ongoing conversation regarding parenting in a now-viral video captioned, "5 things a Licensed Therapist doesn't do with kids."
In the video, therapist Jessica MacNair reveals things that she would never do with her own kids.
She begins:
"As a licensed therapist who's been in practice for over 20 years - and a mom - here are five things I don't do with my kids."
MacNair goes on to share her list:
"Number one: I ask for consent when I go to hug my kids. I teach them the importance of bodily autonomy and advocating for themselves, and saying 'no' when they're uncomfortable."
"Number two: I don't comment on their bodies. I discuss the importance of physical exercise and nutrition, but we just don't talk about bodies, and I don't talk about my own in front of them, either."
"Number three: I don't talk about finances in front of my kids. I don't talk about how much money I make or where my money goes. That's not for them to be concerned about."
"Number 4: I don't compare my kids to each other or ask them for a change that's more like their sibling."
"Number 5: I don't place value on food, and I don't reward or punish with it."
Her video can be seen below.
Many responded to her video seeking clarification, mostly about number 5 - using food as a reward - and number 3 - finances.
MacNair posted a follow-up video to further explain.
"Food has no moral value, so when you start to pair foods with rewards or punishment, then you're giving it a value that has a hold over children."
"So instead, I take my kids out for ice cream because we like the taste, not because they got good grades or performed well on something."
MacNair later posted another video with the next five things she would never do with her kids.
"Here are five more things I do not do with my children as a licensed therapist."
She explains her list:
"Number one: I do not shame or judge them for anything related to sexuality or gender expression. They can use any pronouns that they want, and they can express any feelings toward any gender, and it is all okay in my household."
"Number two: They can express any emotion or any feeling that they want - big or small - and I will hold it all, and I will never judge them for how they choose to express themselves."
"Number three: This may be a controversial one, but I don't place value on grades, and I don't judge them for what grades they bring home. I work alongside them and their teachers to work on any things that might need improvement at school, but there is no value judgement attached to it."
"Number four: I do not use fear as a motivational tool - that one's self-explanatory."
"Number five: I do not teach them to 'just trust' authority figures no matter what. I teach them that trust and respect is earned."
You can watch the second video below.
Though the statements made by MacNair seem bold, many users agree with her on many issues.
@strongtherapy/TikTok
@strongtherapy/TikTok
@strongtherapy/TikTok
@strongtherapy/TikTok
@strongtherapy/TikTok
@strongtherapy/TikTok
@strongtherapy/TikTok
Some users disagreed with MacNair's stance on discussing finances with her children. However, she did clarify that teaching children financial literacy is important, but they should not be burdened or concerned with their parents' personal financial situation.
@strongtherapy/TikTok
@strongtherapy/TikTok
@strongtherapy/TikTok
@strongtherapy/TikTok
@strongtherapy/TikTok
@strongtherapy/TikTok
MacNair's second video has more than 580k views.
We must admit, she makes some very valid and compelling points.
Jane Rosenberg
Jane Rosenberg
@arianagrande/Instagram
@arianagrande/Instagram