I own a lot of books and DVDs so it's not likely anyone thinks I'm anything other than a dude who loves to read a lot and watch plenty of movies. Or an introvert. (I'm not.)
But who knew things like baby formula could raise such suspicion? (Yes, you read that correctly.)
I clearly have a lot to learn about the world––and so do you!––thanks to Redditor your_divorced_mom, who asked the online community, "What innocent item gets too suspicious if you own too much of it?"
"Once I saw a couple..."
Once i saw a couple who were clearly on meth buying a shit ton of baby formula at the grocery store. At the time I was like, that's sad, they have a kid and they can't breastfeed it because they're on drugs. Maybe a week later I saw a post on Facebook about how many drugs are cut with baby formula, which is why it's a high risk item for large scale retail theft.
So, baby formula.
"My neighbors..."
For me water. My neighbors had well water and would dry up. They asked if they could run a hose and put it in there well they would pay what was owed. Did this alot last summer no big deal they paid. Then they bought a big above ground pool. Filled it for them they always paid my part was always around the same so I wasn't bent out of shape. One day the water meter guy knocked with an officer wanting to know why I was using so much water. I explained showed the many hoses to reach my neighbors and they were there to help explain. They explained to me that much water usage was throwing a red flag. So they were sent out to investigate to make sure no marijuana growing was happening.
"When I go buy..."
I live in methville. When I go to buy pure lye (I make artisan soaps), I always make sure to say "for soap-making." Even so, I still get funny looks sometimes.
"I worked at..."
I worked at a pool supply store. They sell an extra strong peroxide as an alternative to chlorine. Idk why but we had to report large purchases to the FBI.
Reported this guy after we used his customer info to search his address on google earth. It was rural and had a few different outbuildings. Seemed sketchy.
FBI got back to us a few weeks later. He was using the chemical to clean animal skulls he bought from a slaughterhouse. Then he carved the skulls and sold them. The FBI lady said he showed her his whole process and it was pretty impressive.
"I saw..."
I saw a TIFU post about a guy who bought a bunch of pressure cookers on sale to give to friends as gifts. Turned out that set off some anti-terrorism flags. So I'm gonna go with pressure cookers.
"A guy we know..."
Tampons.
A guy we know hordes them because he thinks if the government collapses they will become a hot commodity that he can use to trade. I'm talking a shed full of boxes. ALL KINDS.
Unbeknownst to him menstrual cups exist. And rags.
"When I was in undergrad..."
When I was in undergrad, me and my two friends lived together in a house. Whenever we saw a yard sale, we'd stop and buy any reasonably priced clocks. We'd then hang the clocks on the walls of the house in asymmetrical places, and we'd leave them on whatever time they were at even if they were dead. So our house had nearly a hundred clocks after 4 years, all of which said different times and several of which made faint ticking sounds.
My roommate who was the least enthused about this decor would wake up after a particularly drunk night hung over as hell and just scream angrily "WHAT F***ING TIME IS IT?" As he walked from room to room.
Anyway, when we moved out, we had our own yard sale with ONLY clocks for sale. People thought we were freaks but we sold about half of them. Sometimes I still hear the unsynchronized clicking today when I lay down at night and close my eyes.
"They're standard..."
Ziploc bags. They're standard in most households, but if you've got dozens of boxes you're either selling drugs or something illegal.
"You have one..."
Cardboard cutouts.
You have one cardboard cutout and it's a novelty decoration, but you have a room full of them and it gets a little weird.
"I saw a woman..."
I saw a woman loading 20 crates of bananas into the back of her ancient minivan today. That was weird.
