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A Boat Briefly Got Stuck In The Suez Canal Yet Again—And People Went Into Full Meltdown Mode

Gokturk-1 Observation Satellite/Anadolu Agency via Getty Images; @SavvyBeeBen/Twitter

Remember those glory days earlier this year when the entire internet stopped talking about the insurrection and the pandemic and the death of the planet for a couple weeks because there was a giant ship blocking the Suez Canal?

Do you wish you relive those magical halcyon days? Well you can, albeit briefly, because it happened again this week.

Unfortunately for the internet meme-industrial complex, it was only stuck for about an hour this time.

But in internet time that's like a year, right?

Which means we have a whole boatload (sorry) of new boat-blocking-one-of-the-world's-busiest-shipping-lanes memes.

Hooray!

It all began when cargo ship Coral Crystal and its 43,000-ton load ran aground in the northern section of the canal. The Suez Canal Authority had to divert all other traffic while it worked to free the Panamanian vessel.

Tug boats were immediately dispatched to the site and had the ship free in about 15 minutes. All told, the entire kerfuffle lasted just shy of an hour according to officials—a mere fraction of the six days the Ever Given was stuck back in March.

That's a huge relief for global trade but a deeply disappointing outcome for those of us spending entirely too much time on the internet in desperate need of levity.

It must be said--in Kanye West's voice, of course: We're gonna let you finish, Coral Crystal, but Ever Given had the best Suez Canal obstruction of all time.

We got to giggle and wisecrack about that debacle for weeks. There was even erotic fanfic and a whole QAnon conspiracy theory about the good ship Ever Given.

Still, while it was no Ever Given, the Coral Crystal did provide a much needed diversion for the internet, and the jokes and memes began rolling in as soon as the news of the ship's plight broke.










Thank you, Suez Canal, for this gift you have once again given us.