Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

There's Now Erotic Fanfic About The Ship That Got Stuck In The Suez Canal—Because Of Course

There's Now Erotic Fanfic About The Ship That Got Stuck In The Suez Canal—Because Of Course
Samuel Mohsen/picture alliance via Getty Images

Much like how physics has Newton's 3rd Law that states every action has an equal and opposite reaction, the internet has "Rule 34," which states that if you can imagine it—literally anything—somewhere in the recesses of the internet there is porn about it.

And if you ever needed proof of Rule 34, it's this.


It turns out it applies even to the boat that blocked-up the Suez Canal and halted global trade for nearly a week. Yes, there is now erotic fanfic—like actual porn—about the Ever Given cargo ship and the Suez Canal and it is... well, deeply weird, but also wonderful.

Is there no limit to human creativity?

If you've been anywhere near the internet over the past week, you'll have noted the Ever Given's Suez Canal debacle was and continues to be the meme du jour. People just cannot stop dunking on this poor boat, to hilarious results.

So, it was only a matter of time, really, before people got horny about it. And when we say "got horny about it," we mean horny.

Archive of Our Own, a website (commonly known as AO3) dedicated to fan-fiction of all kinds—rated G to XXX—currently has more than 100 entries of erotic fanfic about these star-crossed lovers, which as a reminder are not people but rather a cargo ship and a shipping canal.

We're talking stories where the Ever Given and the Suez Canal are lesbians. We're talking Ever Given and Suez BDSM.

We're talking something literally titled XXX-TRA WIDE CARGO STUFFS MAJOR SHIPPING LANE — DELIVERS HUGE PAYLOAD!!

And in a glorious internet meme crossing of streams, so to speak, there's even erotic sea shanties about the Ever Given dredging Suez's canal, if ya know what we mean.

Perhaps most revolutionary of all, there's anti-capitalist ship/canal smut too. Get excited, leftists. Sexytimes and empire-in-decline dystopia need no longer be separate entities on your list of interests.

On Twitter, people have of course basically been losing their minds about this.






To be honest, we're pulling for these two star-crossed lovers to be 2021's power couple. You might even say we ship them (sorry.)

More from Trending

Jasmine Crockett Calls Out Trump's Hypocrisy By Pointing Out How Melania Got Her Visa
Leigh Vogel/Getty Images for SiriusXM; Kayla Bartkowski/Getty Images

Jasmine Crockett Calls Out Trump's Hypocrisy By Pointing Out How Melania Got Her Visa

Texas Democratic Representative Jasmine Crockett pointed out President Donald Trump's hypocrisy on immigration considering how First Lady Melania Trump's pathway to citizenship was possible because she received an "Einstein visa," which is usually reserved for an individual with "some sort of significant achievement."

Speaking during a House Judiciary Committee hearing titled “Restoring Integrity and Security to the Visa Process,” Crockett noted that “the idea that Trump and my Republican colleagues want to restore integrity and security in the visa process is actually a joke," and harshly criticized the Trump administration's immigration crackdown and visa restrictions.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshots of Jennifer Griffin and Pete Hegseth
The Hill

Fox Host Comes To Reporter's Defense After Pete Hegseth Berates Her At Pentagon Briefing

Fox News' chief political analyst Brit Hume came to the defense of Fox national security reporter Jennifer Griffin after their former colleague, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, criticized Griffin as the reporter "who misrepresents the most intentionally what the president says” in a Pentagon news conference.

Hegseth, a former Fox News anchor, had criticized media outlets—including his former network—for what he described as unpatriotic reporting. Hegseth took particular aim at early intelligence assessments suggesting that President Donald Trump's bombing of Iran may not have significantly crippled Iran’s nuclear capabilities.

Keep ReadingShow less

Teachers Share The Questions Students Asked In Class That Broke Their Hearts

Being a teacher is a calling.

It is not for the meek or weak of heart.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshot of Emily Compagno
Fox News

Fox Host Slams Dem For Dropping An F-Bomb After Praising Trump For The Same Thing Just Minutes Earlier

Fox News host Emily Compagno was criticized after she praised Donald Trump's use of the "f-bomb" earlier this week before condemning Texas Democratic Representative Jasmine Crockett's use of the same word—on the same episode of her show, no less.

Trump made headlines this week after admonishing Israel and Iran for violating a ceasefire agreement he'd announced on Truth Social. Although he claimed the ceasefire had been "agreed upon," Iran fired at least six missile barrages at Israel after it was supposed to take effect.

Keep ReadingShow less
Ken Jennings; Emily Croke
@Jeopardy/Instagram

Champ's Wild Final Jeopardy Connection

In a dramatic conclusion on last Monday’s Jeopardy!, a contestant revealed a surprising relationship to the final clue's answer. Hailing from Denver, Emily Croke made it to the final write-in portion of the game show with $12,200 in earnings.

In the category of “Collections,” host Ken Jennings read the clue:

Keep ReadingShow less