Look, before we get into this article it's important to clarify that we're not saying that we agree with the opinions shared in this presentation. We know how precious this couple is to the fandom, and we're not trying to mess with that. All we're saying is that when it comes to Belle, Beast, and Gaston, there's some information here that we had not considered in the past. When you add in the context of political climate and what we know about French history... it's *possible* that Belle *maybe* should have explored other options, up to and including staying single or choosing to marry Gaston even if it wasn't for love.
Los Angeles-based EW correspondent Dana Schwartz put together a 16-slide PowerPoint presentation about why Belle likely would have been better off in the long-run had she gone ahead and married Gaston. Now, we're not expecting die-hard Disney fans to love what they're about to read...but we urge you to come at this with an open mind.
This whole thing started with Dana putting up the following chart about Disney villains.
An important graph about Disney villains https://t.co/YPf4WjsiFx— Dana Schwartz (@Dana Schwartz) 1545532264.0
People couldn't help but notice that Gaston was rated as having, by far, the most valid point of view. That, of course, left people like:
But Dana wasn't fazed! Homegirl came ready to battle. In a series of tweets, she laid out her 16-page magnum opus in defense of the approximately-barge-sized Gaston.
Brace yourselves. We're going in.
https://t.co/7zbnJRtMdq— Dana Schwartz (@Dana Schwartz) 1545532909.0
https://t.co/egtlz6zUt0— Dana Schwartz (@Dana Schwartz) 1545532963.0
FIN. https://t.co/4hicVu0ZGx— Dana Schwartz (@Dana Schwartz) 1545533199.0
Dana starts with the obvious selling points, like the fact that Gaston is a great hunter and that would make him an excellent provider in 18th century France. He's muscular, popular, and a good singer — all pluses! In contrast, Beast is grumpy, never sings, and only hangs out with people he pays.
These side-by-side slides happened:
Dana then hits you in the gut by establishing a timeline that shows Belle and the Beast, a.k.a. Prince Adam, were pretty likely to have gotten caught up in the French revolution. As a prince and princess, the pair would have been walking, talking targets. Had she married Gaston, it was more likely that Belle would have survived, and possibly been quite happy.
An artist's rendering:
So, as expected, the die-hards were up in arms immediately:
@DanaSchwartzzz Well I never. But but but: the Beast has a beautiful library full of beautiful books while Gaston… https://t.co/QsyjKOVoIG— Crystal (@Crystal) 1545554282.0
@DanaSchwartzzz Beast/Prince Adam: - gave her access to all the books in his Library because he knew she loved boo… https://t.co/uVwLesQOGs— 𝕔𝕣𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕝 𝕤𝕒𝕨 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕠𝕝 𝕜𝕚𝕔𝕜 𝕒𝕤𝕤 (@𝕔𝕣𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕝 𝕤𝕒𝕨 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕠𝕝 𝕜𝕚𝕔𝕜 𝕒𝕤𝕤) 1545593945.0
@DanaSchwartzzz https://t.co/Iq44izTZA7— Diana P. (@Diana P.) 1545588142.0
@DanaSchwartzzz WOW. I feel personally attacked by this PowerPoint. And you probably think Rose should’ve chosen Ca… https://t.co/EBycLCuvLi— Emma Queen (@Emma Queen) 1545627912.0
But #TeamGaston had some pretty heavy hitters on their side:
My character was the @DanaSchwartzzz of the film. I literally sang a whole song about his virtues and she still mad… https://t.co/eWA3f5CIt4— Josh Gad (@Josh Gad) 1545601383.0
This is 100 percent, indisputably the correct take https://t.co/nZkgJ7qhie— Daniel Victor (@Daniel Victor) 1545534717.0
@science_goddess @DanaSchwartzzz Suddenly, Gaston is my favorite Disney character.— 𝔾𝕒𝕪𝕖𝕣 𝕋𝕙𝕒𝕟 𝕋𝕙𝕠𝕦 🧚🏼♂️ (@𝔾𝕒𝕪𝕖𝕣 𝕋𝕙𝕒𝕟 𝕋𝕙𝕠𝕦 🧚🏼♂️) 1545590949.0
And pretty soon it was a full-on fight:
@GoDavid52 @DanaSchwartzzz Still a bonus. He’ll get bored and she can go back to reading....unbothered— Wait, what? (@Wait, what?) 1545661026.0
@DanaSchwartzzz gaston also takes way cuter pictures https://t.co/OAKcayOWRF— 𝓫𝓻𝓸𝓸𝓴𝓮 (@𝓫𝓻𝓸𝓸𝓴𝓮) 1545595123.0
@alittlekings @DanaSchwartzzz Literally all of those points have no truck. None.— Benjamin Hyle (@Benjamin Hyle) 1545599125.0
In the end, people kind of landed on one undeniable truth: Belle should have just swerved on them both. #AllTheSingleLadies.
@DanaSchwartzzz I personally think Belle should have moved to Paris and stayed single.— Somewhere in the USA (@Somewhere in the USA) 1545597172.0
@DanaSchwartzzz but what if belle was a lesbian and chose someone who appreciated her wit, beautiful face, and some… https://t.co/SM6omhzlol— bird🌟 @bastardum (@bird🌟 @bastardum) 1545542499.0
@DanaSchwartzzz You can argue that the beast was a bad choice but to suggest that Gaston is any better is honestly absurd.— Nicolette (@Nicolette) 1545612471.0
@DanaSchwartzzz Is there no possibility that Belle could have led an army? Left both Gaston and the Beast in the du… https://t.co/p1QCRfte1W— DanaMAdams (@DanaMAdams) 1545627846.0
@DanaSchwartzzz Counterpoint. https://t.co/O8T8R0G2Ne— The Flying Ghoti (@The Flying Ghoti) 1545537314.0
@DanaSchwartzzz @solinthesky Personally i think she shud choose neither... just kill the beast and keep the library… https://t.co/sdF8PrSMPG— Missy AKAbestPMeva😇 (@Missy AKAbestPMeva😇) 1545593669.0
@joshbellomo Same! Lol— 🐝 (@🐝) 1545588723.0