What constitutes successful and long-lasting relationships differs from person to person.
They could stem from how they cohabitate, work together, are compatible in the bedroom, or delight in mutually passionate interests, like food, travel, and collecting.
But sometimes, it's the little things loved ones do that truly define whether or not they are each other's ride or die in life.
Curious to hear examples of this notion, Redditor Shelovestobespoilediled asked:
"What are some signs that your partner truly loves and cares for you?"
The Ruse
"They pretend to be interested in your favourite hobby, even if it's incredibly boring."
– sonicdiarrhea
"Yes, this. My boyfriend's hobby is pro-wrestling, and it can be a really silly and sometimes cringe-inducing hobby. But that's one of my favorite things about him: he has the interests he loves and even if other people deem it to be 'uncool' or cringey, he still loves it."
"I'm the same way with musicals. I hate when people hide their interests just because someone else said they weren't cool."
– shortstakk97
"They don't even need to pretend to be interested themselves. They just have to support your enjoyment of it."
– bythog
"Yes, this right here! This is a key difference that I think many folks struggle with. I can show interest and ask real questions about what he's talking about, even if we both know I'll never be interested in the thing on my own."
"I think his excitement is cute and fun and shows he has curiosity and wants to share his world with me. I can get down with that, even if the topic is not something I'd ever seek out on my own."
– Clever_plover
Being There
"They show up when you need them, without being asked—whether it’s for a big event or just to hold you during a tough day."
– SweetieDreamsx
"When I flew back from saying goodbye to my mother in hospice, he drove 4 hours to meet me at the airport and get a room with me (long distance relationship) and drove back the next day. We had been dating a month."
"He didn’t want me to be alone so he surprised me. Almost 7 years ago, I still tear up when I think about his love."
– fake-august
"I have depression. Average, ordinary depression. Last night it hit me with its full force. I was so sad and broken. He tried to help in various ways for awhile. But eventually, he just silently held me, and I cried so hard. I was able to feel the extreme sadness and despair but also know it was ok. I was ok."
"Just having that full acceptance, to have him there, still loving me despite my insane sadness and fear.....I knew he would always be there. Always loving me. I will never have to hide anything - he loves me for exactly who I am."
– sward11
The Extra Mile
"They inconvenience themselves to do things that they aren’t obligated to do and which don’t benefit them at all just to make you feel loved. Think:getting up earlier than they have to so they can heat up your car and scrape off ice in winter for a big day at work or when you have something important happening that day and you never expected them to do it, they have nothing to lose by not doing it and it’s a lot of work."
"RIP, Scotti, it’s been 30 years and I’ll never not miss you."
– LadybuggingLB
"They go out of their way for you, even if it is an obvious inconvenience or time/travel investment. And they tell you it's not even a big deal, cuz to them it doesn't feel that way at all, they want to do it. "
"Had a girl in high-school, terrified of heights, go on a giant ferris wheel with me at the fair. Same girl later on was like 8 months pregnant get on a bus and travel like 2 hours just to hang out with me for a few hours."
– Sinz_Doe
The biggest gestures are effortless.
The Look Says It All
"They come home exhausted but smile when they see you."
– NightOwlIvy_93
"I trained for a triathlon for months; then when I went in the ocean at 7am, I started having anxiety, especially as e everyone left me behind."
"My husband- who hadn't trained at all- jumped in the water and swam along with me shouting encouragement all the way out and back, impressing even the lifeguards..."
– jenapoluzi
"Being with them calms your nervous system and makes you feel relaxed. Your body knows."
– hx117
"They know when you're not feeling well, and how to support you. My partner is fantastic at picking up when i'm feeling unwell/off, and he supports me. I try my best to give him the same treatment, we got there after a lot of communication and time living together :)"
– Folkvangr21
The Only Thing That Matters
"Kindness. You can always tell a truly strong loving marriage by how kindly the partners treat each other. I’m not talking about big gestures like buying gift or flowers or date nights. Little things."
"My husband always leaves the remote control by my chair when he is done with it. I never once asked for this, he just does it. Every single day you have a myriad opportunities to be kind to each other - even when you disagree about something."
– bugmom
These certainly are the solid foundations that support loving relationships.
Basic Respect
"A partner who's kind to you, who respects you and your boundaries, who listens and supports you in everything, a partner who values communication(healthy communication). Buying you stuff doesn't mean they love you, but how they treat you matters a lot."
– BelvaJJernigan549
In It To Win IT
"They're excited about your future together."
– Toast_n_mustard
Comfort Zone
"You feel peace to a level that's considered boring."
"But that's because you're no longer in fight or flight wondering about your situation or relationship."
– KaiJonez
"Omg yes! When I first started dating my husband, things just felt 'off.' Not bad, but weird. I was on the verge of breaking up with him, and my sister asked me to give him another month, and then if I still wanted to end it, it could still happen."
"She pointed out that I had always dated 'fixer-uppers,' and he was a good man. Had a good job, treated me well, owned a home...stable. The lack of drama and the fact that i didn't have to take care of him was new for me. I'm so glad she pointed this out, we have now been married for 24 years."
– motormouth08
"It's all in the little things: listening without judgment, remembering what you like or need, supporting you when you're down, and showing up even when it's not convenient. Genuine love feels like being seen, heard, and valued without having to ask."
– Shandon5555
"35yrs old male with MS. I cannot do a lot on my own any longer. My wife helps me without me asking. She is the most incredible woman I could ever ask for."
– jmoroni89
Constant Cheerleader
"They want you to live a happy, healthy, fulfilling life and act in accordance with that desire. I’m realizing now in my 40s that it really all boils down to this."
"You like a certain brand of coffee, they make it a point to keep it stocked. You feel loved when they text you good morning everyday, they prioritize sending that text. You have a bad day and need to talk, they sit and listen and give you hugs and tea."
"I spent far too many years begging my ex-partner to do things like this, and he always asked, but why? My current partner just did these things. And I do them for him. And - plot twist - my ex does these things for his new partner. When you truly love someone, this stuff isn’t hard. It just makes sense."
–supakitteh
"Top comment said it pretty well, but patience is a big one for me too. When they’re willing to listen to you with patience and understanding regardless of how stressful a situation may be. When they are able to confide in you about things they are too uncomfortable to share with anyone else."
"When they are sweet and loving even when you feel your ugliest or stinkiest or are in a low. Something maybe a bit smaller too, but the way my partner touches me. He is so gentle with me, he finds a way to rest his head on my shoulder when we watch shows, holds my arm or pulls me close to him."
"It isn’t sexual, but he always wants to touch when we are near or doing an activity together, and out of all the people I’ve dated, it makes me feel so loved."
– Graceinouterspace
You know you're in love with someone because it never feels like you're going out of your way to accommodate them.
A significant other will do just about anything they can to make sure their loved one is comforted and always made to feel like they're supported. And those should never feel like work.
