Prince William Was Just Named 2023's 'Sexiest Bald Man'—And The Internet Is Not Having It

Since the debacles of Prince Harry & Meghan Markle, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, we all know what a chokehold the Royal Family has on the British press.

That is one possible explanation for the most recent bit of news out of London, in which Prince William has been named the sexiest bald man of 2023, in a world in which, say, Stanley Tucci exists.

No shade to Prince William, who's a very handsome bloke as they say over there, but it's like saying Kesha is the biggest touring act of 2023 when Taylor Swift and Beyoncé are sitting right in front of you. Like, okay then!

Nevertheless, the superlative has been said, stemming from a study by a marketing agency, and the results have the internet heated, and not in the good way.

The study, conducted by marketing agency Reboot, took a look at how often various bald men were Google searched along with the terms "shirtless" and "naked," and they claim that Prince William came out on top.

So who in Buckingham Palace is paying off Reboot? What did they know and when did they know it? Of course the Prince is a handsome guy—there's a lot of Lady Diana in that face—so perhaps this did all come about organically.

But the rest of the list... well, it's hard to square the top spot to be honest! Prince William bested Vin Diesel and Jason Statham, the number two and three spots, along with Samuel L. Jackson and Jeff Bezos for four and five.

So this is a list where Prince William and Jeff Bezos are sexier than not just Stanley Tucci but also the internet's resident daddy, Chris Meloni. Okay then!

For its part, the internet is not at all convinced. In fact, people are hoppin' mad about what they see as a clear case of propaganda and some glaring omissions.

We need the British government to launch an investigation. It will surely find a trail leading directly between Reboot's offices and the Palace. Follow the money!