We all have our vulnerable moments we try our best to keep hidden.
They say, "Never let see you sweat," but sometimes that is easier said than done.
Visible anxiety is common during, say, a job interview or a first date. The commonality is the need to win someone over, and there is something endearing about that.
However, some people would rather hide their uncertainties in negative ways that can be annoying as all heck.
Curious to hear what strangers on the internet had to say, Redditor confuciusly asked:
"What screams 'I'm insecure?'"
Taking Others Down With Them
Perhaps one of the biggest indicators of someone being insecure is the need to make others feel the same by pointing out their flaws.
Can people who do this sleep at night?
Hurtful Tactic
"putting someone down in a group conversation to make themselves seem better."
"In my engineering class last semester I was basically put in a group to give a few solutions to a problem. I made a suggestion and one person in my group was like, 'wow that's a bad idea' and I basically just shut up for the rest of the thing. Then when all the groups presented their solutions, ofc they all had variations of my 'bad idea' and I internally face-palmed so F'ING hard.
And to clarify, yes the professor thought it was a great solution."
Sharing In Others' Joys
"The inability to be genuinely happy for others."
"If other people's success or happiness feels threatening or uncomfortable, that is usually due to insecurity. If you're confident, you can separate their life from yours, not compare and focus on your own lane and you can be happy for others for succeeding in theirs. Understanding that your value isn't diminished by the fortune of others."
– poozu
Pitying The Unfortunate
"Pointing out someone's flaws as a 'joke' or a way to look cool."
A Pat On The Back
Some people are not content in just knowing they have done well.
They need approval from others by listing their accomplishments to elicit a reaction. What they end up getting, however, is one big eye-roll.
Seeking Validation
"Fishing for compliments. Nothing annoys me more."
"When my wife and I moved into our house I got approached by the neighbor across the street. He introduced himself, said he was retired from the military and said he makes a ton of money from disability. I think during our 10 minute or so conversation the topic of money was brought up at least 5 times and it all circled back to how well off he was. And then he started talking sh!t about the neighbor that lives next door to us."
"I could tell he really wanted people to be impressed and like him."
– Edge80
Intellectual Prefix
A parent of a child I teach is in Mensa and she's convinced that means she can teach him better than us. 'I'm in Mensa and I think-' is a prefix to everything she says when we try to put anything in place for him. Why should his less than 50% attendance be a problem? His mother's in Mensa! That means he'll learn more at home (never mind that he's 10 and can't count or read)."
A Dose Of Sarcasm
"Yeah, I have a distaste for that too. Fortunately i'm much more acute than a lot of other Homosapiens who just aren't as fortunate as I to develop such a well perceptive disposition. Inconceivable that such incomprehension could draw breath in this world but not surprising that I consider them so simple minded. I mean I am very apt so it's no surprise that they couldn't reach my level knowledge. Yeah honestly i'm even sometimes surprised by my own intelligence and learning ability."
Keeping Appearances
There is nothing wrong with expressing gratitude for the good things happening in a person's life – whether it's a good job or a wonderful marriage.
But there should be a statute of limitations before it gets into bragging territory.
Look At Meee
"Posting 15 times a day about your life on social media. Secure people don't need to seek validation for everything they do."
Aftermath Of A Breakup
"My sister in law does this, and then boom she broke up with who-ever-the-hell-cares and proceeds to post a bunch of those 'inspirational' quotes about how the most caring, soft hearted people get taken advantage of and then they turn into the coldest, hardest person you know."
Feigning Busyness
"Acting like you're so much busier than everyone else. I have a coworker who pretends to talk on the phone with people, always emails everybody at 10:00 pm to make it look like he's 'working late,' constantly complains about how much is on his plate, etc. He feels the need to constantly be validating his worth to everyone."
The subReddit went viral because the scenario of people having all the obvious signs of insecurity was relatable.
They have most likely been vulnerable themselves enough to recognize the telltale signs.
So how do we avoid engaging with these annoying individuals – especially a friend?
While giving in to ridiculing someone who hides their insecurities with a veneer of immodesty, there might be an opportunity there to open up a conversation and lend a sympathetic ear.
It's not a one-size-fits-all solution, but sometimes, we all just want to be heard.
