When it comes to defining our sexuality, we all have our different journeys.
For some, it's not about arriving at a destination. It's about a constantly evolving state of being and the individual they find along the road to self-discovery and love that dictates who they are in the moment.
Nothing is ever set in stone.
And for others, it's about an innate conviction that informs their sexual identity, even at a premature age prior to having any sexual experiences.
Curious to hear from strangers online about where they fall, Redditor jacklawd asked:
"How did you conclude that your sexual orientation is what it is?"
For some, it was love at first glance.
Love Them Melons
"I was sold on boobs from an early age."
– maclaglen
Nudie Magazine Was Revealing
"I saw a Playboy when I was like 6 and my mind was blown."
– puma721
"Me too, I was 7 (female) and it definitely did something to me. That said as soon as I could could see porn with guys in it, that's what I wanted to look at. I've had sex with women but I never fantasize about them. So I don't really know what I am. Mostly straight but a bit bisexual I guess?"
– sravll
Study In Contrasts
"Look at woman with big chest -> Ooga Booga"
"Look at man with attractive body -> No ooga booga."
– IntermidietlyAverage
"Ripped dude -> good for him."
"Hot woman -> Oh, baby!"
– CCPMustGo
When You Know, You Know
"Basically this lol. I can look at a guy and say he's attractive guy with nice body but past that I'm just happy for him."
"See an attractive woman though and yeah thoughts are more like she's pretty I would want to take her on a date and do stuff."
– MysteryMan999
These Redditors were put through the test.
The Influence Factor
"Spaghettisexual - straight until wet."
– IllPanYourMeltIn
"'Six beer queer' is the other one."
– oopsneedathrowaway
"I've never felt more understood than I do right now."
– Malhablada
Very Fluid
"I'm kinda the same. I used to say I was 'straight-leaning pan' because I actively prefer and seek out relationships with women but a strong emotional connection isn't dependent on gender. Eventually I discovered the term 'heteroflexible' and immediately identified with it. My preferences are hetero, my heart is demi-pan."
– GingerlyRough
Innocent Observation
"I was putting clothes back on my daughter's Ken doll. My son asked why I was doing it and I told him it's because she took his clothes off. He wanted to know why she took his clothes off. I told him maybe it was the same reason he takes the clothes off her Barbie. He thought about it a moment, looked confused and said, 'But Ken isn't fun naked!'"
– KennyanneConway
It was never up for a debate, and experimenting wasn't an option.
Siren Of The Screen
"I saw Selma Hayek. And my brain shut down."
– 1w2e3e
"Hooolyyyyy SH*T. Do you remember her in Dusk til Dawn, or Dogma? Oh my Gawd. It's like a mental hard reset. My brain is panicking just thinking about it. Good lord."
– hail_SAGAN42
Just The Fairer Sex
"Idk I’ve always been attracted to women Never really wanted to try anything with guys."
– CephalonPhathom
Standing Bi Their Decision
"Saw a hot girl. Saw a hot guy. Thought 'yeah both is good.'”
– HailYourSelf717
"both?" "Both.." "Both." "Both is good"
– Attack_AC130
Hot For Teacher
"At 15 all my friends constantly talked about their crushes on our male classmates or their favorite male rock star. I was constantly thinking about my female teacher. My thoughts were never physical; they were about mundane things. So I tried to convince myself I wasn’t gay. But I knew I couldn’t talk about my feelings. One day in class I was sitting on the floor with some other students and the teacher randomly put her hand on the top of my head. I felt like I was going to faint. The infatuation lasted a couple of years. If I saw her walk by all the way across the cafeteria I would be in a good mood the rest of the day."
"A couple of years later it happened again with a coworker closer to my age. The constant thoughts started up, just mundane things like replaying our discussions in my head. One day I had to talk to her about something. I was standing about 3 feet in front of her and looking at her, and I felt like I wasn’t going to be able to breathe."
– mythrowaweighin
The thread demonstrated that many of us have fought against or contemplated various scenarios before being comfortable with who we are to allow ourselves to experience defining life moments.
Nothing is hardly ever black or white.
It's interesting then that the ignorant contingent repeatedly argues that people "choose to be gay," because that makes sense. Do they think people deliberately choose to live a life being constantly subjected to ridicule, judgment, and endless bullying?
Not only does that rationality not make sense, but, unfortunately, statements like that only invalidate the existence of people in the LGBTQ+ community, or worse, prevent them, from coming out of the closet.
The Bulwark
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