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People Divulge The Relationship Non-Dealbreakers That Would Still Greatly Disappoint Them In A Partner

Reddit user SkyeSerenade asked: 'What is NOT a dealbreaker BUT would be greatly disappointing to find out about your partner?'

woman in brown sweater covering her face with her hands
Dev Asangbam on Unsplash

I'm autistic, so there are a lot of things that irritate me to unreasonable levels. Like, I envision the person's head on a spike if they keep doing it after I've asked them not to more than once.

I'm talking about crimes against humanity like:

  • toilet paper roll going under instead of over
  • not putting a new trash bag in the garbage can after taking out a full one
  • not taking their shoes off at the door
  • leaving the clocks blinking on the microwave, stove, entertainment devices
  • using the last of the paper towels or toilet paper and leaving the empty tube on the holder
  • singing under their breath at a volume I can hear when they use headphones
  • they confuse homophones like there, their and they're or to, too and two or waste and waist or wear, ware and where or no and know or...

screaming GIF by Broad CityGiphy

But these are all me problems, not them problems.

A big part of being autistic is my need for order and having rituals and doing things the "right" way.

In the grand scheme of life, though, no one has died because of doing any of these things that annoy me. I just fantasize that they do. But surely neurotypical people don't take exception to any of these things.


toilet paper GIF by LEOGiphy


Maybe it doesn't inspire fantasies of homicide for them, but it turns out everyone has little things that annoy them more than seems reasonable. Pet peeves, if you will, that might end a friendship before it begins but that they'll overlook or suppress their rage over a romantic partner.

Reddit user SkyeSerenade asked:

"What is NOT a dealbreaker BUT would be greatly disappointing to find out about your partner?"

Wrong Side Of The Bed

"They can only sleep on the same side of the bed as I do, and they want me to switch sides with them."

~ mooandcookies

"My husband and I naturally slept on different sides of the bed and it was fine for years, but we moved into a new house and the bed is facing a different direction so now I sleep closer to the door than the window and I want to switch sides because he was my sacrifice for intruders but I can’t just do that a decade into living together."

"It’s just uncouth."

~ Absolutely_Fibulous

Change The Channel

"My boyfriend and I have been together 11 years."

"I’ve had the same favorite TV show since before I met him, and he hates it."

"Obviously not a dealbreaker, but it’s pretty disappointing!"

~ 4thdrinkinstinctxx

"My wife of nearly ten years (together for 14) has finally watched Firefly with me."

"She found it watchable but not something she’d watch again."

"She’s lucky she’s so gorram cute."

~ Brahminmeat

But Not With You

"When there's things they used to do with an ex, but they aren't interested in doing anymore."

"For example, I had an ex whose ex used to force them to do couple's costumes at Halloween."

"I had never had a serious boyfriend before and desperately wanted to do a couple's costume with him, but he was OVER IT at that point and didn't want to."

~ ChippyTheGreatest

Put It Back!

"They go to Target and throw doormats on the floor to look at them and then just walk away and leave them on the floor."

~ RilohKeen

"I wouldn't be OK with shopping with someone and watching them not put things back where they found them."

"I'd always have to say something, and depending on their attitude it could be a dealbreaker because that's probably the selfish attitude they'd have towards me over time."

~ RobertTheAdventurer

Just Wait Until His Hearing Goes

"My dad hates movies with subtitles. My mom is a foreign film buff."

"She has been trying to change him for DECADES. And while he'll sit through—and sometimes even enjoy—them on occasion, he'll still groan any time she suggests a movie with subtitles."

"The ultimate disappointing non-dealbreaker."

~ _hootyowlscissors

Utter Betrayal

"When you’re watching a TV series together and he or she watches an episode without you."

"That's a betrayal."

~ CaptCojones

"My wife and I have three tiers of shows:

  • Only watch together
  • One can watch ahead, but must be willing to go back and rewatch
  • Do what you want, I don't care"

"We are very explicit about which tier shows fall under."

~ i_have_seen_ur_death

Spoiler (Literally)

"Putting unwanted items back in the wrong place at the supermarket."

"Becomes a dealbreaker when they leave refrigerated or frozen items outside of a fridge/freezer."

~ ReliefZealousideal84

"I used to work at a grocery store and people are complete maniacs."

"The other gross thing was people who would open an item on the shelf, eat some of it, and then just leave it there like‽‽ Just steal it at that point!!"

~ jeffbezosburner69

"I told a family member I was shopping with that I'd have to go back to a different aisle to put something back and they said to just put it back where we front of a person who worked there."

"I've done a bit of retail work myself and hated it so I understand how annoying it can be when people do stuff like that."

"And having the audacity to deliberately leave stuff in the wrong place IN FRONT of a worker is another level."

~ LeLoupDArgent

Analyze This

"In college, watched the movie Donnie Darko for the first time and when it ended, I had so many questions and was analyzing the meaning behind it."

"Tried to talk to my then boyfriend and he seemed disinterested."

"Finally, after a half hour, he says 'can you please stop talking about it? It's just a movie. You are just supposed to enjoy it, not analyze it'."

"Not a dealbreaker, but a huge disappointment."

~ littleirishpixie

The Natural Order

"If they are a sock-shoe-sock-shoe 🧦👟🧦👟 person and not a sock-sock-shoe-shoe 🧦🧦👟👟person."

~ Ace-Ventura1934

"Nah, that person will kill you at some point. Major red flag."

~ TheCylonsAreHere

"Will it be sock-stab-sock-stab 🧦🔪🧦🔪 or sock-sock-stab-stab 🧦🧦🔪🔪, tho?"

~ nandosman

"I remember reading an article about former general manager of the Minnesota Vikings Rick Spielman and the terror I felt when they described him putting on sock-shoe-sock-shoe THEN PANTS 🧦👟🧦👟👖!"

~ MajorTrump

🎵 Do-Re-Me-Fa-So-La-Ti-NO! 🎶

"If they don’t love music. This is my life. My husband doesn’t care for music. I LOVE music. But thankfully he doesn’t care if I play it all the time. He just tunes it out."

"The ironic thing is my husband has a beautiful singing voice, and a very strange ability to pick up sequences of notes he hears in ANYTHING and link it to a piece of classical music he’s heard once or twice as a very small kid."

"He can recall song lyrics perfectly and replicate the tunes and sh*t perfectly after hearing a song once or twice. And I'm pretty sure he has perfect pitch, but he doesn’t care enough to test it."

"All things utterly WASTED on him."

"I can barely carry a tune in a bucket and I adore music. I’ve played multiple instruments and can read music and have been in multiple choirs, and making music is insanely difficult for me."

"It just isn’t fair."

~ disgruntledhoneybee

Hit Clear, Dear

"If they stop the microwave prematurely, but don't clear the display."

~ dancingpianofairy

"I can do you one worse. Uses the microwave, takes the food out before the timer goes off, without clearing it and then leaves the door open!"

"My partner does this near every time he uses it—which luckily isn’t often as he vastly prefers the oven unless he’s in a hurry or it’s one of the few things we get from Trader Joe’s that can’t really be cooked in the oven."

~ chiizus

Zzzzzzzzzz... 😴

"Untreated sleep apnea. I know, it’s not anyone’s fault, but let’s get it sorted so we can both sleep though."

~ Appleinacoconut

"Untreated apnea with snoring would be an absolute dealbreaker for me."

"I'm not going to lay awake half the night and be exhausted all day because my partner won't use a CPAP."

~ DeathSpiral321


"They run family 5ks on Thanksgiving mornings."

~ JimothyBoon

"I have learned to accept the Turkey Trot and compromise by making sure we do brunch right after with no limit on my mimosa intake."

"Makes it all worth it to he honest."

~ DoingMyDamnBest

Curb Your Enthusiasm

"The big 'aaaaaaaahhhhhh' after he drinks something."

"Usually it's fine, but once in a while it's aggressive, and I just... You good hun?"

~ DoingMyDamnBest

"You just reminded me that I always used to make fun of my ex for drinking 'like a toddler'."

"He would drink so fast and make those little panting noises after, like a kid drinking a bunch of chocolate milk or something."

"Such a weird turn off."

~ -ghostless

"My wife is a loud swallower of liquids like 'glu-gulk-glu-gulk'."

"I laugh at her, but 30 years on it continues."

~ ManintheMT

(un)Original Signage

"If they have Live, Laugh, Love around their home."

~ SkyeSerenade

"I'd rather catch my wife snorting coke out of a pool boy's navel than have her start putting sh*t like that in our house."

~ kihadat

Oof, that last one.

Add "I love you to the moon and back" and "it's wine-o'clock somewhere" to that list of overused home decor.

What non-dealbreaker are you willing to tolerate in a significant other?