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Ah, Apple. In a lot of ways, Apple does control our lives--46.9% of people who own cellphones in the United States own an Apple iPhone--a significant statistic. And anyone who has an iPhone knows how much it completely runs their lives.
But a creepy misprint on the manual for Apple's new Mac operating system, Monterey, makes it sound like Apple has a lot more control over our lives than is possible. The misprint gives the distinct impression that Apple knows exactly when its customer will die.
When fine print conditions are appended without having your copywriters sign off on it\u2026pic.twitter.com/fEthqGwtrk— Jamie Skella (@Jamie Skella) 1634777622
From new Apple chief of marketing Professor Trelawneyhttps://twitter.com/jamieskella/status/1450988631636660237\u00a0\u2026— Sean Philip Cotter (@Sean Philip Cotter) 1634911284
Uuuuuuuuuhhhhhh. Apple.... Uh.https://twitter.com/JamieSkella/status/1450988631636660237\u00a0\u2026— Katrina Lehto (BLM, Member Antifa Chapter #24601) (@Katrina Lehto (BLM, Member Antifa Chapter #24601)) 1634862797
Open for a (nasty) surprisehttps://twitter.com/JamieSkella/status/1450988631636660237\u00a0\u2026— Rowan (@Rowan) 1634861061
I'm going to sue apple if I'm alive next yearhttps://twitter.com/JamieSkella/status/1450988631636660237\u00a0\u2026— ConnieSpaceplone\ud83e\udd66 (@ConnieSpaceplone\ud83e\udd66) 1634860887
The print starts out normal enough, saying "Account Recovery Contacts makes resetting your password and maintaining access to your account easier than ever," but turns dark pretty immediately:
"And a new Digital Legacy program lets you designate people as Legacy Contacts so they can access your account in the event of your death.*. *Coming later this year."
While it's likely the asterisk was referring to the Digital Legacy program coming later this year, it did sound like imminent death would be coming for Apple Users later this year.
AGNES NUTTER IS THAT YOUhttps://twitter.com/JamieSkella/status/1450988631636660237\u00a0\u2026— Ondatra iSchoolicus (@Ondatra iSchoolicus) 1634860581
APPLE WTFhttps://twitter.com/jamieskella/status/1450988631636660237\u00a0\u2026— Zoe \ud83d\udc96\ud83d\udc9c\ud83d\udc99\u2721\ufe0f black lives matter (@Zoe \ud83d\udc96\ud83d\udc9c\ud83d\udc99\u2721\ufe0f black lives matter) 1634853145
oops!https://twitter.com/JamieSkella/status/1450988631636660237\u00a0\u2026— Scriptorium YEG (@Scriptorium YEG) 1634841398
I lolled. They always get you with the *https://twitter.com/JamieSkella/status/1450988631636660237\u00a0\u2026— Dave Nadig (@Dave Nadig) 1634830876
The point of the Digital Legacy program seems to be for loved ones to be able to get into the phones of recently dearly departed friends and family, in order to make sure all affairs are being carried out on that person's behalf.
But Apple has yet to correct the ghoulish wording, which is giving users equal parts dread and delight.
"We've been tracking your purchases over the past decade, and frankly we're surprised you lasted this long."— Bill Seitz of FluxGarden (@Bill Seitz of FluxGarden) 1634911411
A hotel in Korea threatened me in a similarly ominous waypic.twitter.com/pCyLs2N1h4— hoBOOrocks (C J \ud83e\udd26\ud83c\udffb\u200d\u2642\ufe0f) (@hoBOOrocks (C J \ud83e\udd26\ud83c\udffb\u200d\u2642\ufe0f)) 1634687538
pic.twitter.com/HS9ebG5GC3— Todd Vaziri: Presented in the "Letter-Box" Format (@Todd Vaziri: Presented in the "Letter-Box" Format) 1634620157
Apple, is there something you\u2019d like to share with the rest of the class?https://twitter.com/jamieskella/status/1450988631636660237\u00a0\u2026— simon\u2019s grim fant\u00f4m (@simon\u2019s grim fant\u00f4m) 1634823176
Well, that escalated quickly.https://twitter.com/jamieskella/status/1450988631636660237\u00a0\u2026— Daniel Hutmacher (@Daniel Hutmacher) 1634899523
Mac OS Monterey is available beginning October 25, 2021. Most likely it does not come with an iron-clad death clause, but just in case, exercise caution when making your purchases from Apple.