Human Resources Staffers Break Down The Most NSFW Complaints They've Ever Heard

Certain jobs require you to have tough skin.

Doctors, firefighters... human resource representatives?

True, while those who work in HR don't literally have other people's lives in their hands or put themselves in the line of fire, they are responsible for the happiness and well-being of everyone at the company they work for.

Not to mention, are bombarded with complaints on a regular basis.

While some of these complaints are fairly commonplace and easily handled, others might not be the sort of thing they expected to deal with when they signed on for the job.

Namely owing to the fact that they had to deal with some clients who didn't understand what "Not Safe For Work", or NSFW, meant.

Redditor I_Have_No_Name_00 was eager to hear the most shocking NSFW complaints HR reps ever had to deal with on the job, leading them to ask:

"Human Resources people of Reddit, what are some NSFW complaints you've had to investigate about your workers?"

"I did a lot of HR related stuff."

"Most of my employees were women; most of my customers were women."

"The women's bathroom got 90% of the attention, but that said, the men's room was a bad time with the rare man that came in."

"Day comes, we get a complaint about the smell coming from the bathrooms."

"I'm a big guy, and my main rule was that I wouldn't ask my employees to do things I wouldn't do because I made much more than they did, so I put on the latex gloves and marched back to the men's room."

"It was fine."

"Completely fine."

"Well, a scrap or two or toilet paper but fine."

"I open the women's room door and I am struck by the stench of rot. It basically knocks me off my feet."

"I open the door all the way."

"The ceiling, floor, and every wall is covered in sh*t."

"Finger marks in it so it was painted."

"I take a minute to be shocked, close the door, tape it off, tell my boss I'm calling a clean up crew."

"He says no, I can clean it."

"I tell him he can get bent. If he'd seen what I'd seen, he would know better."

"He says okay."

"10 days or so later, it happens again."

"And at that point, the only women in the store had been my employees."

"It was essentially an open and shut case--one is a barely functional germaphobe, and the other had washed her hands at least 5 times, smelled like death, and wouldn't make eye contact with me."

'Maria, what the f*ck are you doing?'"

"'Sometimes I smoke a little somethin' and then I hear the bugs in the toilet'."

"'I just have to fish them out before they drown'."

"'Uh huh'."

"'So I'm gonna go find a pen that I don't want anymore, you can keep it after you touch it, and just write down everything you just told me and how many times you've done that'."

"'That way I can figure out what to do from here'."

"While she did that, I called my boss."

"'Hey, so there's a problem with Maria'."

"'When there's an employee, there's no problems, just opportunities'."

"'Great, so Maria has an opportunity with doing drugs then smearing sh*t on the walls because she hears bugs in the toilet'."

"Obviously she got fired, but I kept her on staff long enough to get her into rehab."- breakbats_nothearts

They Couldn't Think Of Something More Original?

"Employee coming in early and taking a dump on bosses desk."- cleanyour_room

He Was Working In IT, And Still Thought He'd Get Away With It?!?!

"Around the year 2008, our IT director came into my office and wanted me to see something that he had discovered in our internet surveillance software."

'A guy in accounting had installed a program on his computer to make it appear that he was on yahoo while he was actually surfing adult videos."

"There were 1000’s of images saved in a hidden folder on his computer."

"It was an open and shut investigation."

"The dude just about passed out when we confronted him."

"As I was walking him out of the building, he asked if I was going to tell his fiancé."

"Uh no way dude, but I will share it on Reddit in 2024."- Complete-Pen-9358

it crowd maurice moss GIFGiphy

Why People Still Think Rules Don't Matter...

"Not in HR, but I was in orientation with a guy (just he and me) and HR was explaining why you can't have any adult cideos on company property."

"He argued that if he wants to sit in his car and read Hustler at lunchtime, it's nobody's business because it's on his own time and in his car."

"Surprisingly, he didn't lose his job, but he got written up three times in 30 days for various infractions, and he was gone."- Extremely_unlikeable

Reverse Psychology Fail...

"I was the manager."

"An employee complained that there were condoms in her garbage can."

"Often."

"We installed a camera in the hallway outside her office after the third or fourth time."

"It was her."

"With different guys."

"A coworker who knew her husband found one, so she made up a story about people breaking into her office after hours and doing it on her desk."

"But she was staying late and had at least three guys she admitted to after she got caught."- SaveFerrisBrother

Who Do You Call When You Need To Complain About HR?

"My old job had security go through and check to make sure the offices were locked at the end of the day."

"So as a result they more than once walked in on people hooking up in offices."

"The best example was a manager with an engineer from a different department."

"You could argue it wasn’t too bad since he wasn’t sleeping with someone he had direct oversight over, the only problem being what his department was."

"He was the manager of HR."

"Needless to say he was no longer employed there after that."- texaninvasian

Season 4 Hr GIF by The OfficeGiphy

Always Be Mindful What You Do On Company Time:

"A friend of mine is an engineer that was using ChatGPT to help write his Emails and help with Excel formulas and macros."

"However, he was signed into ChatGPT with his personal Email account, which also had a log of the more private writing exercises he would have ChatGPT do for him."

"This was noticed during a Zoom call when he was presenting a report by sharing his desktop."

"An eagle-eyed viewer noticed the ChatGPT logs in the sidebar while he was cycling between Internet tabs, and managed to grab a screenshot of it."

"So the sidebar read things like 'How to reference adjacent cells in data validation'."

"'Automatically outputting spreadsheet data into a formated Email'."

"'The sexy island adventures of Dread Pirate Booty Beard'."

"'Importing generated MD5 file hashes into a cell'."

"IT investigated his computer and reviewed the ChatGPT logs."

"It was determined he was writing ChatGPT erotica in his free time, and the nature of the erotica wasn't anything too terribly outlandish."

"But the funniest thing about it was how 80% of the erotic conversation was this poor guy constantly fighting with ChatGPT to ignore its content filters andn he obviously wanted his smut less clinical sounding."

"He had an uncomfortable meeting with HR, was notified that his 'personal projects' should never ever touch company computers, and he had to create a new Email account to sign in to ChatGPT."

"Which caused a problem."

"He was paying premium for his personal account, so he had to choose between premium ChatGPT for his career, or premium ChatGPT for smut."

"He chose smut."

"Dude's paying for it with is own money, so he should use it for personal use."

"If the company notices a dip in quality work because he has to use an older ChatGPT model, well, they mandated it, they can pay for it."- ImNotRacistBuuuut

Is There A Doctor In The House?

"Not HR, but I work in a hospital setting and heard about it from HR."

"The hospital I used to work at had generic ID cards (i.e. they had your name only, not your title)."

"A housekeeper (aka janitor) bought a white doctor's coat and stitched his name in it to pass off as a doctor."

"Thankfully he never attempted patient care- he only did it to hit on nurses."

"Supposedly he was quite successful!"

"He only got found out because a nurse he used to be with caught him with another nurse, and a sexual harassment complaint was made against him to retaliate."

"I can only imagine HR's face when they slowly realized that there was no Dr. 'John Smith', only a housekeeper John Smith!"- Lukas_of_the_North

Oops...

"I had to self-report myself to HR, about ten years ago."

"I’m an IT guy and we had a live issue with the email system stalling when trying to process file attachments."

"Five of us on a call, me sharing my screen as we investigated the issue."

"I randomly opened one of the stalled email attachments (all we could see were a list of files waiting to be scanned by antivirus, not the names of recipients or senders) and BAM There’s a photo of Becky from Payroll with her boobs out."

"I closed the image."

"No one said anything on the call for a little while."

"Then we fixed the email problem and closed the call."

"I couldn’t risk someone else from the call going to HR first."

"So I walked straight down the corridor, passing by Payroll, for a sit down with the HR Manager."

"It was announced a few weeks later that Becky would be moving on to a new company."- BetamaxTheory

Season 5 What GIF by The OfficeGiphy

Cleanup On Aisle 7...

"I got 3 good ones, think grocery store setting."

"The store has a public bathroom downstairs that was always destroyed."

"It was in a bad part of town."

"There were also employee bathrooms upstairs."

"This particular employee didn't want to go up the stairs so he would go in the coolers and piss in the drain."

"One day there was a young girl (18 or 19) that was in the cooler and he didn't see her but she saw him drop pants to the ankles and piss down the drain."

"He was let go."

"One of the employees was a drunk. After a while he would complain about how [his wife] didn't have sex with him anymore."

- SludgeLorde

Who Knows Where Those Hands Have Been?!

"Not HR, but I had to report a guy to HR."

"He (a full grown adult man) would PRETEND to wash his hands."

"If he assumed nobody was in the bathroom, he would walk in, turn the faucet on, go to the urinal as it ran, walk back to turn it off, grab a dry towel, wipe his hands with a dry paper towel, then leave."

"Now, some people may think that I shouldn't care."

"However, this guy's job was to touch/package hundreds of pieces of medical devices going to compromised individuals."

"I left the job shortly after that, but old work friends said he got fired for a pile of other things, but the not washing hands was directly mentioned and supported by others who reported him as well."- darkperl

Doesn't Quite Qualify As Paid Time Off.

"Not in human resources but we recently fired two employees."

"The male was a Supervisor of a specific department, late 50s ish."

"He had a younger, maybe mid to late 20s female working for him."

"She was terrible, we work oilfield and she knew nothing."

"So we noticed more and more he was out on location doing her job for her while she did god knows what."

"HR started getting suspicious after confidential information came to light."

"Long story short, we work 24/7 with call outs."

"Anytime this woman was called out in the night, he'd meet her on location."

"We know this because our trucks are GPS monitored."

"We'll he'd get to location, his GPS would 'malfunction' ( he'd unplug it)."

"Then it'd turn on hours later."

"We'll turns out they were making BS calls for call out and meeting up and having sex on company property, in company vehicles, while being paid for it."- Fit-University1070

Anyone working in HR usually braces themselves for all sorts of problems and dilemmas.

Some might even complain about dealing with a whole lot.

That being said, only the very unlucky ones, including several who shared their stories above, meant that literally...