M&M's Replaces Spokescandies With Maya Rudolph After 'Woke' Backlash From Conservatives

We regret to inform you that those little talking cartoon M&Ms are no more.

The characters' recent makeover was such a flop with the only people who have the urge to pitch a fit about nothing—conservatives—the company announced they are pausing use of the animated "spokescandies."

The change came after Fox News host Tucker Carlson sparked a conservative outrage after dedicating an entire segment on his "news" program last year to complaining the green M&M no longer wears "sexy boots."

Yes that is an actual thing that happened on the most-watched news network in the United States.

The M&Ms company is apparently as sick of listening to this nonsense as the rest of us, because they've decided to put the animated characters on "indefinite hold" in response.

But every cloud has a silver lining, and this one comes in the form of Maya Rudolph.

As the company announced in a tweet, the company enlisted Rudolph to be its real-live spokesperson.

The changes to the M&Ms were subtle enough that unless you're a Carlson devotee you've probably not even noticed them. We're talking about changing the shoes on a fictional piece of animated candy, after all.

But Carlson had a full-on meltdown about the new "less sexy" M&Ms, telling his followers:

"M&M's will not be satisfied until every last cartoon character is deeply unappealing and totally androgynous. Until the moment you wouldn’t want to have a drink with any one of them."

Okay then.

In its statement, M&Ms referenced Carlson and his conservative followers' unhinged outrage by lamenting that "even a candy's shoes can be polarizing."

The company then announced Rudolph as "a spokesperson America can agree on," surely a spectacular bit of hubris as Carlson is no doubt preparing an outraged screed about Rudolph being a godless Hollywood liberal trying to inject your kids' M&Ms with Critical Race Theory, or something.

Anyway, the announcement of Rudolph excited all normal people on the internet because who doesn't love Maya Rudolph?

But the absurdity of the situation as a whole was not lost on people on social media, who couldn't help but facepalm over the whole thing.

Others countered the absurdity with equally absurd jokes as if the M&Ms "spokescandies" had been offed by some evil overlord.

Hey, at least this eminently stupid moment in American history can end on a high note with jokes.

It could be worse!