Fatphobia is unfortunately everywhere in the gay community.
But you would hope to find a little relief once you step outside the boundaries of gay men and venture into retail.
Unfortunately, for Samuel Hatton of Texas, he was not afforded equal opportunities with his fiancé.
Instead, the groom-to-be was reduced to tears when he was told he was outside the system's ability to be fit for an Indochino suit.
Hatton shared what happened on Facebook and Twitter.
Hatton described he was very excited to get married to his soon-to-be-husband, Jake, and started researching places for them to buy suits.
But even that process came with a degree of pain.
"As a fat person, I've learned to plan. I cannot stand pitying looks or being given any reason to look more out of place in a world that isn't made for me."
"It's something I've learned to do from being embarrassed a few too many times. The booth at the diner is too small or you accidentally catch a belt loop on the door frame for the millionth f'king time."
"I wake up in the world as someone who has to prove they aren't a clown. It is exhausting."
But after researching Indochino, Hatton was excited to be "getting to do a standard thing the standard person way," as Indochino was endorsed over and over again by overweight men across the internet.
But after making the three hour drive to Indochino in Dallas, Hatton found he was going to be up against systemic fatphobia despite his research.
"Jake and I wait our turn. He was scheduled first."
"When our very kind associate, obviously trying to think of a way to say something uncomfortable said, '...so long as you fit within our measurements.' She tried her hardest to look at both of us but everyone knew what was about to happen. I was crestfallen."
"She kindly measured Jake first. I want to emphasize how kind this person was. She obviously wanted to make me feel as human as possible. I can't say how much I appreciate that. Then she measured me."
And then she delivered the bad news.
"Shoulders, broad, good. Neck, good. Arms, good. Waist. 'Sir, I'm so sorry but you're just a few inches out of our standard measurements. My system won't allow me to fit you'."
"Knowing it was coming didn't really prepare me. Neither did the very kind theater for what everyone knew was about to happen. She was incredibly apologetic. I've learned to appreciate kindness in these situations."
"Sorrowful, holding back tears, I said, 'It doesn't say anywhere on your site that I wouldn't fit. You have to understand how embarrassing and hurtful this is'."
While emphasizing the woman who worked with them was incredibly kind, even going as far as to give them the name and number of a good tailor and to vow to speak to someone in the company who would be able to change the system, Hatton said the experience triggered a number of painful memories.
"All I could think is of every incident I've been embarrassed, outside of my control. Every time I've been made to feel like an obstacle or a thing in someone's way."
"Every time I've been pushed aside for the ten people waiting in line who were 'normal'. Every fad diet my mother thought would be 'helpful'. It was too much to take."
"I couldn't even look my partner in the eyes. If I had I would have ended up bawling right there and then."
Hatton then asked Jake to pull over in a private location and leave him alone for a moment, where he broke down.
"For 20 minutes, in a dark parking structure, I mourned my dignity. I can't describe it as anything other than loss."
"For those of you who don't know how it feels, I really do envy you."
Samuel Hatton/Facebook
Samuel Hatton/Facebook
Samuel Hatton/Facebook
Samuel Hatton/Facebook
Samuel Hatton/Facebook
At the end of the day, Hatton was contacted by the tailor and would be getting a custom suit that cost nearly 3 times what Jake paid, stressing that "there wasn't just an emotional premium for being fat, there was a $1000 fee."
"I am reminded every day that I live in a world that isn't made for me. When I was a little younger, seeking out queer relationships drew that reality to an even finer point."
Indochino has reached out to Hatton via Twitter to try and rectify the situation.
Hopefully some of the emotional damage Hatton suffered can be repaired.
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