When you're in a long-term relationship, the conversations you have with your significant other tend to be a lot more casual than when emotions were more intense at the start.
The viewpoints shared on various topics and the divulging of information imparted can either be very engaging or droning.
Either way, the mundanity of couples' verbal interactions includes the occasional falsity of pacifying a perturbed partner or paying compliments that aren't genuine but make the other person happy.
Which brings us to today's topic.
Redditor PanTaLLok wondered:
"Men of Reddit, what is something you tell your girlfriend/wife that is completely untrue?"
Ultimate Defender…Or Not
"I would fight a bear for you..."
"I absolutely would not - I would run like a b*tch. The problem is that my wife was a sprinter and is in better shape than me so I would definitely end up having to fight the bear anyway."
– bliffer
Dedicated Subscriber
"I'm my wife's longest running sub on her twitch channel. 5 years of paid subs and I can't stand twitch. I just like supporting her."
– MlntyFreshDeath
Sharing Plates
"Nah, I don't want it, you go ahead."
– ManicDigressive
"Whenever my husband says this, I insist on splitting it with him. Somehow that’s more palatable to him than taking it if I offer it back to him."
– patentlydorky
"During our first years of marriage, my wife and I played this silly game where, if there was a small piece of cake/dessert/whatevahs left, we would each take only half of what remained. Over and over until it wasn't practically possible to do so."
"That started me thinking; if the first person takes half, then the next person takes half of that, and so on ad infinitum, how much does each person get? Turns out the first person gets 2/3, the second 1/3, but I couldn't prove it."
"A few years later while reading a recreational math book (yes, there are such things!) I found a proof for this. My wife still teases me about how tickled I was to find it."
– kamuelak
For Time Management
"That we need to leave at 9 to be there on time."
"In truth, we need to leave at 10. But if I tell her that, we won't be leaving until 11."
– ok_if_you_say_so
"My wife figured out that I pad when we have to leave, and now she says 'well you said 10 so I know we didn't need to leave until 11'. So now I say we have to leave at 9:30. Escalation."
"Here’s the thing - every once in a while (something that it doesn’t actually matter when you get there) you have to tell her a correct time. Keep her on her toes. OR LEAVE WITHOUT HER."
"My God, I was left only once and it was a wake up call to get my sh*t together and take control of my life. Set my own timers, figure out how long I need to get ready, trick MYSELF. I’m responsible for myself, not my spouse."
– SeaOfDeadFaces
Fake Pricing
"It's only like $20."
– SlimRoTTn
"My husband has a magnet on our fridge saying, "my biggest fear after death: my wife sells my gear at the price she thinks I paid""
– Shrink83
"I have to ask my husband 'is this a YOU $20 or an ACTUAL $20?' "
– vulturelady
Worth It For Love
"My wife is Deaf and uses lip reading and sign language.(we are Mexicans, so here is the LSM, equivalent to the ASL)."
"I'm always trying to pause my speech, gesticulate more, etc; and put attention to what is happening and translate to her (I'm clumsy trying to gain skills in SL)."
"She asks sometimes if I feel overwhelmed or burdened by the effort it requires, and without skipping a beat, always says that not at all."
"But it's hard and burdening."
"Sometimes it overwhelmed me or made me tired as hell, and feeling hopeless or lacking interest in sharing something, just because the effort it takes."
"But, if it's like that to me, how frickin excruciatingly difficult could be to her!. And she keeps trying and putting effort into bonding and sharing thoughts, feelings, moments with me."
"So I will keep lying and trying better."
– DrJMVD
Colluding With Man's Best Friend
"That the dog and I didn't have our evening treats yet!"
– Swgx2023
"I choose to imagine both you and the dog following your wife into the kitchen and looking up at her from the floor and whining with big sad, hopeful eyes."
"She rolls her eyes and says 'ugh fine' and tosses the dog a rawhide chew, and you a 16oz beer from the fridge."
"You both scamper off excitedly with your prize."
– GozerDGozerian
Validation
"I compliment her painted nails."
"I couldn't give a f'k but she cares about it so I do my part."
– anon
"I have to give my husband some credit. He tries to at least point out one feature. 'Oh nice, sparkly.' 'That’s a cool shade of blue.' 'Mmm…they are all the same length.' Hahaha!"
– HideousYouAre
"It actually works. I went from 'They look beautiful' to adding some detail about them 'they are such a good bright color of red' 'They are blending so well' etc and it has made a huge amount of difference in my wife’s expression. She has become excited about showing off more things like her hair treatment/styling or her new cream and what it does… She looks so happy doing all that."
– zombie_singh06
Safety Reassurance
'I'll be careful."
"I will court death."
– EggSaladMachine
"I genuinely am careful, but we have such different risk tolerances that it's a lot better for me to leave it at that. I'm just not telling her things that will make her worry unnecessarily."
– Tomato-Unusual
Guilt-Free Zone
"She's 8 months pregnant, and she snores like a lumberjack. No, honey, of course, it's not the reason I haven't slept all week."
– UMakeMeMoisT
"I'm almost 7 months pregnant. Your comment made me ask my husband. He just started laughing and saying "it's so incredibly loud.' "
"I started sleeping on the couch because of acid reflux, and the TV helps me fall asleep faster."
"Then I go into the bedroom after I have to pee in the middle of the night."
"He said he is always excited when I come into bed to cuddle but then realize I'm going to keep him awake once I fall asleep again."
"I had no idea!"
– Beautiful_Resolve_63
Feline-Fawning
"That she is 'the softest and the cuddliest'..."
"She is not. The cat is."
– axeman020
"How dare you! What if the cat hears you?"
– cyberpudel
"The cat made them post that comment."
– AquaQuad
"Yup, I tell her she's the prettiest girl in the house. No. The new kitten is."
– Icesis00
Keeping The Peace
"I understand. Even if I don't and don't really know what she is talking about, she needs to vent, and when I say I understand, she can move on."
– Nordjyde
"Honestly, more dudes need to learn to nod solemnly and say 'that b'tch' every once in a while. LMAO, I often say there's no such thing as a white lie, but this.....this is a white lie."
– R2face
Aging Gracefully
"I’ve been telling my wife she looks 20 for 25 years."
"Just last week, she was talking about how her face looks “different” now, and I told her the same and then immediately made a correction, 'Okay, fine, you actually look 25 now.' ”
"She knows it’s a lie and always responds 'yeah right' with a little smile on her face. She likes to hear it even though she knows I’m just saying it."
– SilverBuggie
Sweet Surprise
"I 'might' be getting off early to do some stuff on Valentine's Day. We usually don't do anything big, but I got a bug up my butt and took a half day without telling her. I'm going to decorate our dining area and bring home one of her favorite meals."
"Other than that, nothing jumps out."
– freerangetauros
Spare Her The Details
"What are you thinking about?"
"Oh, nothing."
"Nah, not nothing. Instead, my mind is going down some stupid rabbit hole... such as how much power could I actually get for free if I built a copper coil and put it close to the power line? How could I regulate the voltage to 120 volts?"
"Or maybe what would happen if everyone ACTUALLY stopped using Facebook?"
"Or how could I totally reverse engineer a washing machine timer? I've read the wiring diagrams many times but never actually understood them."
– 38DDs_Please
White lies are harmless and, based on the examples above, serve as more of a protective measure.
What innocuous fibs have you told your significant other? What is to avoid conflict? Or to make them feel better?
