Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Ballsy Guy Goes Before City Commission To Propose Something Very NSFW 😮

Ballsy Guy Goes Before City Commission To Propose Something Very NSFW 😮
(C2 DJ/YouTube)

Chris Flowers, a proponent for happy endings in his town, went before the Lawrence, Kansas, City Commission and gave a persuasive, yet audacious, proposal that left the room speechless.

Instead of causing a scene by protesting outside the building, the kid did his homework by familiarizing himself with how the local government works and made a strong case by asking the city to adopt Ordinance No. 9324 - which refers to the licensing of body practitioners so that voluntary genital massages would be legalized.




He approached the podium as he initiated brief eye contact at the beginning. Once Flowers began to speak, the slightly nervous but resolute citizen kept his eye down on the paper and read aloud his carefully written proposal.

If licenses and regulations help stop sex trafficking, and if Kansas truly wanted to put an end to sex slavery, shouldn't they allow grown adults to engage in prostitution legally and then regulate and license that?

Flowers implied that preventing someone from engaging in something deemed illegal would only introduce those services into the black market where "shady stuff starts happening."

Giphy



As an example, he mentioned the time he and his friend unknowingly smoked laced marijuana, but noted that things changed after the legalization of pot in Colorado.

Now a lot of the marijuana being sold around here comes from dispensaries in Colorado, and you hardly ever hear tales anymore of people buying pot that's laced.

Flowers suggested the same rules would apply towards legalized and "reasonably regulated" prostitution. He argued that most people would seek "certified" prostitutes, which could potentially aid in the dissemination of sex crimes.





Here's his solution for getting rid of pimps and sex trafficking: allowing the masseurs to give genital massages – "if the masseur and the client both agree to it."



He argued that proctologists are already performing similar acts as a part of their examination process.

We let someone get naked and have every other part of their body touched and rubbed by a massage therapist. Hell, we let proctologists spend their day fingering men and sticking things up their anus, so if someone wants to yank a guy's crank I say let 'em.





His speech––which quickly garnered media attention–bordered on being a potential prank, but the kid brilliantly summed up his plea in this final statement :

This is about a group of people imposing their morality on the rest of society. If a grown adult wants a hand job and another grown adult is willing to give one for money, then let them.
That's both freedom and capitalism, and that's the foundation of our country.
If you have a problem with a genital massage, then don't get one. Allow other consenting adults do what they want. That would truly be a happy ending for everyone. Thank you.




Stunned silence filled the room as the young crusader quietly excused himself.




People online thought his speech was a masterstroke.





With his fairly articulated plea in the name of freedom and capitalism, you gotta hand it to Flowers––this upstanding citizen's got courage.


H/T - WhiskeyRiff, YouTube, Twitter

More from Trending

Kathy Hochul; Greg Abbott
Michael M. Santiago/Getty Images; Brandon Bell/Getty Images

Kathy Hochul Offers Shady Response After Greg Abbott Shares Meme Of Him 'Dunking' On Her Ahead Of Knicks-Spurs NBA Finals

New York Governor Kathy Hochul offered a shady quip about MAGA's stance on transgender athletes after Texas Governor Greg Abbott shared an AI-generated meme showing him dunking a basketball on her as President Donald Trump watches on ahead of the series between the New York Knicks and the San Antonio Spurs in the NBA finals.

The Knicks and the Spurs are set to meet in the NBA finals for the first time since 1999, when San Antonio captured the championship. Game 1 is scheduled for June 3 at the Frost Bank Center in San Antonio, with tipoff set for 8:30 p.m. ET.

Keep ReadingShow less
MAGA Influencer Ripped For Mind-Numbing Posts Comparing Melania To Michelle Obama—And The Obsession Is Real
@BrilynHollyhand/X; Mandel Ngan/AFP via Getty Images; Billboard Music Awards via Getty Images

MAGA Influencer Ripped For Mind-Numbing Posts Comparing Melania To Michelle Obama—And The Obsession Is Real

MAGA podcaster Brilyn Hollyhand was widely mocked by X users after he shared a clip of First Lady Melania Trump talking about immigration to claim that former First Lady Michelle Obama "wishes" she was as great.

The 19-year-old—who previously served as the co-chair of the Republican National Committee Youth Advisory Council—shared a clip from Mrs. Trump's January 29 appearance on Fox Business' Mornings with Maria in which she claimed that her husband President Donald Trump's immigration crackdown is rooted in his desire for a safe country for all.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshots of Pete Hegseth attempting a grapevine workout with Navy members
@DOWRapidResponse/X

Pete Hegseth Is Getting Roasted Over His Hilariously Awkward Attempt To Do A Grapevine Workout With Navy Sailors

Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth was dragged hard on social media after video footage of his attempt at doing a grapevine workout with U.S. Navy soldiers in Singapore went viral online.

Hegseth was in Singapore to attend the Shangri-La Dialogue, a top regional defense forum. While there, he insisted the American military is not "turning our backs" on Asia while fulfilling "global obligations" such as the Iran war.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshot of Jon Ossoff; Donald Trump
@Acyn/X; Evan Vucci/Pool/AFP via Getty Images

Jon Ossoff Perfectly Explains Why Trump Wants To Build His Ballroom And Put His Face On Money—And Yep, That Tracks

Georgia Democratic Senator Jon Ossoff called out President Donald Trump at a rally in Atlanta on Sunday, saying Trump's plans to build a ballroom at the White House and his push to put his face on $250 bills say a lot about why he is "a failed president."

Last year, Trump ordered the demolition of the entire East Wing to make way for a 90,000 square-foot ballroom that will dwarf the size of the White House itself, sparking alarm from historical preservationists and the public alike.

Keep ReadingShow less
After Lisa Kudrow (left) recounted being mistaken for Dionne Warwick (right), the singer weighed in with a priceless response.
XNY/Star Max/GC Images; Amy Sussman/WireImage via Getty Images

Lisa Kudrow Reveals She Was Once Mistaken For Dionne Warwick—And Warwick's Reaction Is Hilariously Priceless

Celebrity mix-ups are practically their own meme at this point, but Lisa Kudrow being mistaken for Dionne Warwick probably wasn't on anyone's 2026 bingo card. It all unfolded during a recent Hollywood Reporter Comedy Actress Roundtable featuring Ashley Padilla, Hannah Einbinder, Keke Palmer, Quinta Brunson, Rachel Sennott, and Kudrow herself.

The actresses were asked about the strangest fan interactions they'd ever experienced, and Kudrow's answer quickly stole the conversation.

Keep ReadingShow less