If you're a fan of unlimited cheese and wine, then a recent event in London probably sounded as close to heaven as one can get.
But for attendees of the Giant Cheeseboard event over the weekend, things quickly turned into a nightmare.
In a post on Twitter, the organizers of the event, North Greenwich's Studio 338, advertised it as "unlimited cheese, mulled wine, and fun."
UNLIMITED CHEESE! 😍😍😍 6 Days until this dream is a reality here on the terrace... https://t.co/KitjETMc7n https://t.co/YTcW3F2RW5— studio338 (@studio338)1512932403.0
But for people who waited in the cold for over an hour to even get into the event, the fun turned out to be very limited:
Any chance we'll get some cheese today? #GiantCheeseboard https://t.co/WDye01ufX8— The Flying Raccoon (@The Flying Raccoon)1513427870.0
Oh, but the disappointment didn't end there.
Once inside, guests were treated with a very limited selection of cheese, assuming there was still any left by the time they got through the ridiculous queue lines, as well as sad, dry crackers and bread, and watered-down mulled wine:
#GiantCheeseboard this is a seemingly endless queue of people waiting for dry crackers, cubes of cheddar and watere… https://t.co/2C3tiTUord— petestravelogue (@petestravelogue)1513458235.0
The people struggle for the last scraps of Camembert. The suffering has gone on too long. https://t.co/Qtyd7CBodE— Tom Capon (@Tom Capon)1513434436.0
We queued for 40 minutes to find out it is low alcohol mulled wine https://t.co/AGVJHIW7pP— Tom Capon (@Tom Capon)1513433459.0
#GiantCheeseboard this is one of the most depressing things I've seen https://t.co/Ufs8rz3sHK— petestravelogue (@petestravelogue)1513457800.0
A lone cheese plate on a bus stop #giantcheeseboard https://t.co/xraNCe1uGc— Tom Capon (@Tom Capon)1513442352.0
Why is there people dressed as Tom the Cat at #giantcheeseboard, surely it should be Jerry? Even the character organisation is shocking!!— Martin (@Martin)1513432521.0
Soon #GiantCheeseBoard started trending on Twitter, with many people venting their frustrations. And there were several to choose from:
If you want cheering up today, I heartily recommend looking at #giantcheeseboard hashtag, for a very British Fyre F… https://t.co/oWgAfxaq5h— Another Angry Woman (@Another Angry Woman)1513507241.0
New entry in the shit winter wonderland stakes: A festive £30-a-head “immersive cheeseboard experience” gone very w… https://t.co/uJgp8uCnQE— Jim Waterson (@Jim Waterson)1513509408.0
.@studio338 organised #thegiantcheeseboard WORST EVENT EVER. Shop bought cheese, overcrowded, staff who lied when r… https://t.co/TDUQb4FazV— Mark Byrne (@Mark Byrne)1513436727.0
@chrishws_ @studio338 @MailOnline Not just bad cheese. TERRIBLE organisation. This stank for all the wrong reasons.… https://t.co/4QW3v43tzj— Mark Byrne (@Mark Byrne)1513436995.0
@chrishws_ @studio338 @MailOnline Fucking disgusting. Cheese was from Costco, the unlimited mulled wine wasn’t unli… https://t.co/fzz4MikIY5— Mark Byrne (@Mark Byrne)1513437210.0
So #giantcheeseboard was a SHIT show. Lied to us. False advertising. @MailOnline @TimeOutLondon this is an event wh… https://t.co/emwrm8czTS— Mark Byrne (@Mark Byrne)1513446744.0
The #GiantCheeseBoard event was an absolute disaster and people are fuming https://t.co/bahxiOYeTP— Metro (@Metro)1513522275.0
All in all, it felt very reminiscent of the Fyre Festival, a failed music festival created by musician Ja Rule and wannabe-tech-entrepreneur Billy McFarland which was supposed to happen on a lush private island in the Bahamas in April.
The tickets ran into the thousands to hundreds of thousands of dollars, but when guests started arriving, it was clear that there was a lack of financing and organization, as evidenced by posts from attendees who only saw a few relief tents and were treated to that infamous "cheese sandwich":
This sums up Fyre Festival. #fyre #fyrefestival #fyrefest https://t.co/x4xcFBL8Yg— William Needham Finley IV (@William Needham Finley IV)1493344481.0
The dinner that @fyrefestival promised us was catered by Steven Starr is literally bread, cheese, and salad with dr… https://t.co/GjBxQygxV9— Trevor DeHaas (@Trevor DeHaas)1493344843.0
So maybe the Giant Cheeseboard wasn't quite at that level of disaster, but for Londoners, it certainly felt that way:
Did Ja Rule show up https://t.co/hRXX0JSPvw— Dawn Foster (@Dawn Foster)1513461450.0
#GiantCheeseboard looks like the British equivalent of Fyre Festival.— Ryan Nelson (@Ryan Nelson)1513509622.0
@hannahjdavies Cannot overstate how bleak this is https://t.co/9j9uaDS7sD— Kate Solomon (@Kate Solomon)1513433231.0
It did seem like an especially British conundrum:
So very British. https://t.co/CqcIVsDnU7— Scott Bryan (@Scott Bryan)1513519568.0
How extremely British that our version of the #fyrefestival fiasco is the #GiantCheeseboard cockup— Andi Best Design (@Andi Best Design)1513457984.0
According to BuzzFeed, event goers were expecting a bit more, especially considering that it had been promoted by TimeOut and Metro.
"I guess expectations were foolishly high but I expected a food-centric event based on how it had been sold," 33-year-old Peter Phillips said. "You'd naturally have presumed an array of cheeses of reasonable quality as well as mulled wine."
"It was stunning that they'd managed to fuck up the simplest of all concepts: unlimited wine and cheese." 🧀 🍷 😩 https://t.co/wg1HroSATI— BuzzFeed News (@BuzzFeed News)1513521912.0
But instead they were treated to "five school-style tables of non-description cheese being served by people in mouse ear head bands, and a scattering of dry crackers and bowls of peanuts."
After people started demanding refunds, the organizers shared a lengthy post on Facebook in which they refuted the claims that they had failed to deliver as promised, or had somehow deceived their guests:
In addition to affirming that they never ran out of cheese, and that it wasn't bought at a supermarket, they also said that many people enjoyed themselves.
"The fact is that a LOT of people had a great time," they claim. "We have so many videos and photos of all the fun that was happening around the venue - but a small proportion of people had expected something else."
So while disappointed attendees might not be seeing a refund any time soon, at least a few people had some fun with it all:
I can’t brielieve how awful #GiantCheeseboard was.I’m stilton fuming. I’ve mulled this over and theres good reason… https://t.co/oeklGrwVBf— IAmMadden (@IAmMadden)1513440991.0
From now on #GiantCheeseboard is my new favourite synonym for 'clusterfuck'. Q. How was your night? A. It was a to… https://t.co/uIM01tcQx3— Manda, Manda, bo-banda, bonana-fanna fo-fanda (@Manda, Manda, bo-banda, bonana-fanna fo-fanda)1513464292.0
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