Brian is an actor, musician, writer, babysitter, and former Olympian. One of these things is a lie. Based in NYC, Brian honed his skills in the suburbs of Minneapolis, where he could often be seen doing jazz squares down the halls of his middle school. After obtaining a degree in musical theatre, he graced the stages of Minneapolis and St. Paul before making the move to NYC. In his spare time, Brian can be found playing board games, hitting around a volleyball, and forcing friends to improvise with him.
If you've ever seen the Jodie Foster movie Panic Room, you know that having a functioning panic room in your house can be both a blessing and a curse.
But for one Reddit user, myclosetpanicroom, all the panic room in her bedroom has done is cause drama with her roommates.
So she turned to the subReddit "Am I the A**hole" (AITA) to see if she's in the wrong for her actions, asking:
"AITA for not giving my roommates the code to the panic room?"
The original poster (OP) explained the unusual issue.
"When I moved into this house with these other two women I got the master suite since I was willing to pay more for it. It came with an extra closet and an adjoining bathroom."
"What I didn't realize until after we started moving in is that the door to the extra closet in the master bedroom was like five inches thick with a small keypad on the outside and a large locking mechanism on the back."
"The inside was set up with shelves and stuff like a closet though."
"The owner explained that it was actually a panic room, but they had always just used it as a closet."
"He did give me the code to it though. Since then I started using the room as a sort of safe and keep my valuables and other private stuff in there."
"I love being able to have a place in the house that I know no one else can access. There's something comforting about that since this is my first time living with roommates."
"Anyway there's been a couple break ins around town."
"Now my roommates want to have the code to the panic room."
"Especially my one roommate, Emily, who has a daughter. Emily says her daughters really freaked out by the recent event and the idea of having a panic room helped her calm down and get to sleep."
"Both roommates are saying it's an amenity of the house and they should have access to it. I however think it's an amenity of the master suite as it was advertised as an extra closet in the master suite."
"I also feel very uncomfortable with them having the code to it and being able to access the things I keep in there. So Im refusing to give them the code."
"I actually called the landlord and asked him not to give them the code and he agreed."
"So now they're saying I'm being a jerk and if something happens to them it will be my fault."
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Almost all agreed that the OP was NTA.
"The panic room was something that, from reading the post, wasn't a feature described when you moved in, it was figured out later on."
"Its awkward because it's in your room, but I would say if they feel unsafe, they need to talk to the landlord about getting better security at the place, especially since the landlord agreed that you should have the access code and not them."—Player4our
"NTA. NTA for the reasons above and NTA because their justification is the same logic of victim blaming."
"Oh if someone else breaks into our house and they victimize us it's your fault? Hell no. It is the perpetrator's fault."
"If there are concerns about safety of the house there can be conversations about deadbolts, locks for windows, bars for the windows, etc. Things that actually keep someone out rather than what do you do assuming they can get in."—ClassicAF23
"NTA. If it's only accessible from your room then it's part of your room and the reason you pay more so it's yours."—DirtyPotatoPeople
"NTA, it's in your room.
"If they're worried, talk to the land lord about installing an alarm and camera system"—comeradenook
"99.99999999% of people manage home security without panic rooms."
"Suddenly you happen to have one and now everyone is acting like it's the only way to be or feel safe."
Although the OP might be considered the AH if she didn't allow her roommates into the panic room in case of an actual break-in.
"I'm going with NTA. You're paying more to have the private suite, it's part of the suite and accessible only from the suite."
"Although if something does happen and you're home and you don't let them join you in said room, you can F off."
"But you don't seem like that's the issue, rather that you're using the space as a safe to protect stuff from folks, them included."—Techsupportvictim
"If someone breaks in at night while you are all in the house they can just wake you up and you can all get in together."
"If you refused to let them in during an actual break in, yea you would be the a**hole, but I'm assuming that won't happen."—Music_withRocks_In
There were also several Redditors who didn't think anyone was in the wrong, given the circumstances.
"NAH - I understand their concerns, but them wanting access to it in case something happens doesn't make them an AH and you saying no doesn't make you an a**hole."
"If the safe room was somewhere else in the house instead of through your closet they would have more of an argument. However since it it in your room and you pay more for that room, I agree it is yours to use."—Rage-Parrot
"I completely understand why you are keeping it to yourself. It was advertised as a closet and that's part of what you paid for. It's yours to use fair and square."
"With that being said, I understand why your roommates asked for the code, and if it comes to an emergency situation and you lock yourself in your panic room, while leaving them outside to be taken by the zombies and criminals, then you are the a**hole."
"I suggest maybe reassuring them that in an emergency situation, you can all use the panic room together."
"This is a fairly good compromise and it is effective so long as you are not turned into a zombie before you get there."—Nepenthes_Rowaniae
While the OP can be confident she's not wrong for giving up the code, let's hope a situation never arises where she'd have to use the panic room for protection.