Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Funny People Share Things Sure To Instantly Derail A Date


Funny People Share Things Sure To Instantly Derail A Date

[rebelmouse-image 18350136 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Dating is not for the faint of heart. Running through the muck of the yuck that is out there in the single world can drive anyone to Betty Ford in record time. It feels as though people have completely lost their minds. Literally! You give somebody a chance to only discover that dying alone is actually the life prize instead of dying by the hands of your dinner companion. Especially if they have a familiar resemblance to someone from a recent 'America's Most Wanted' episode.

Redditor _PM_Me_YourTinyBoobs needed everyone to share a couple of dating war stories by asking... _What is one thing you can say to instantly derail a date?

GEOGRAPHICAL LOGISTICS....

Are you sure this place isn't within 500 feet of a school or playground?

ObviousLibertarian

This is a good one wow.

Frungy

Cue police sirens

AnxiuosFox

WHERE'S DAD?

[rebelmouse-image 18350137 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

I hope it's ok I brought my mom, too.

ARE WE IN ALABAMA?

[rebelmouse-image 18350138 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

"You're like a brother to me. A hot sexy brother."

orionmovere

I was kissing a girl once when she put her hand on my chest, pushed me away slightly, and informed me that she just realized that the weird feeling she'd been suppressing all day was that I reminded her of her cousin.

All I could muster was an "Oh. Uhhh, I'm sorry?" And then she said she had to go, to which I responded that I understood. Helped her gather her stuff, turned on the porch light for her, and went back inside very confused. Makes for a hilarious story for my friends though.

Anardrius

SOUNDS TEMPTING...

[rebelmouse-image 18350139 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Wanna come back to my mom's basement?

I MISS HER TOO AT THE MOMENT...

[rebelmouse-image 18348249 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

I really miss my ex, but she got a restraining order so...

WTFJHILM

You so remind me of my ex, except I hope you're not as much of a bh... now let me tell you in detail what a bh she was....

Mitra-

'I miss my ex, but my aim is improving'

Dailynator

AND MY EYES?

[rebelmouse-image 18978210 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

"My last date was cuter, but you at least have huge tits."

SUCH TALENT...

[rebelmouse-image 18978211 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

"One time I livestreamed a jar of meat from my garage as it slowly turned into a putrid sludge. Got like 50,000 views on it."

Thankfully I'm married and don't have to deal with that crap anymore.

HONESTY IS A MUST...

[rebelmouse-image 18978213 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Once went on a date with a guy to a bar. It was going OK. I was just chugging away at my drink while he showed me pictures from his Facebook (exciting right?). I guess he could see I was starting to get a little out of it and then he leans in and whispers "don't worry, I'm not a creeper"

Lol nope g2g.

BUT I HAVE A COUPON!

[rebelmouse-image 18978215 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

"It's 200 for the first hour, 150 for every hour thereafter."

More from Trending/best-of-reddit

Keith Self; Julie Johnson
House Foreign Affairs Committee Republicans/YouTube

Dem Rep. Blasts MAGA Rep. For Quoting Nazi Joseph Goebbels During Congressional Hearing

Texas MAGA Republican Representative Keith Self is having a bit of a moment in the spotlight.

First, he decided to publicly display his transphobia in a House committee hearing, then tucked tail and ran when called on it.

Keep ReadingShow less
Cardi B
Gilbert Flores/Billboard/Getty Images

Cardi B Sparks Debate After Calling Out 6-Year-Old Daughter For Drawing On $60k Handbag

Remember: Nothing should come between a woman and her Birkin bag, especially if that woman is Cardi B.

Popular rap artist Cardi B has proudly shared details over the years of her extravagant lifestyle, including her purchases of expensive clothes and accessories and spending in excess of $3 million each month. And no, that is not a typo.

Keep ReadingShow less
Bella Ramsey
Brendon Thorne/Getty Images

'The Last Of Us' Star Reveals On-Set Interaction That Made Them Realize They're Autistic

Nonbinary The Last of Us star Bella Ramsey revealed a particular experience during filming season one of the HBO action series that led to their discovery of being autistic.

The 21-year-old Primetime Emmy nominee told British Vogue that they "always wondered" if they were neurodivergent, and the confirmation came in the most unexpected way.

Keep ReadingShow less
Donald Trump
Andrew Harnik/Getty Images

Fox News Blasted After Covering Eyeroll-Worthy News Item Instead Of Stock Market Plummet

Fox News—which unironically once used the slogan "Fair and Balanced" to describe their network—is rarely accused of sharing accurate, unvarnished truth.

Their own defense in a lawsuit over former host Tucker Carlson's on-air lies was to claim any reasonable person would know Carlson lied all the time—throwing a bit of shade at their own audience that didn't seem to draw that conclusion.

Keep ReadingShow less
Donald Trump
Fox News

Trump Shows Off His Tacky $5 Million 'Gold Card' For Wealthy Immigrants—And The Grift Is Real

As the U.S. stock market plummeted after Republican President Donald Trump announced his global tariffs, he presented his new "Gold Card" to reporters on Thursday.

At $5 million, the card featuring his face would give wealthy foreigners a path to U.S. residency.

Keep ReadingShow less