A Murder Of Cows?

Dad: Look at that flock of cows over there.

Kids: A HERD of cows.

Dad: Of course I heard of cows, there is a flock of them right over there.

Note: pulled that joke successfully a few times, and my kids even did it to their summer camp instructor.

ManOfLaBook

We Should Probably Leaf

At the park with my girls: "Dad, can we go play?"

Me: "sure, just stay away from those trees over there"

Girls: " umm...ok, why?"

Me: " I don't know...they look a little shady to me."

Good for producing eye rolls

Fleurdelis502

What Better Way To Carry It Home

"Would you like the milk in the bag?"

Dad: "No thanks, you can keep it in the carton."

Captain-Yesh

Scrambled Or Over-Easy?

Dad at breakfast: I'll have bacon and eggs, please

Waiter: How do you like your eggs?

Dad: I don't know, I haven't gotten them yet!

roman12325

Feeling The Humor

Dad: "Nice shirt, is that felt?"

Not Dad: "No."

Dad: Reaches over and touches sleeve "It is now!"

Cheese_Pancakes

That Joke Killed!

Why do graveyards have gates?

Because people are dying to get in.

My Dad always told it passing a graveyard.

Vlaed

Lean Back. Lean Back.

"I love my furniture. My recliner and I go way back."

akaShadezz11

Stating The Obvious, But Still Hilarious

I had a terrible day yesterday. As I was walking home, a man in a wheelchair stole my camouflage jacket!

As he was wheeling away, I shouted after him, "you can hide but you can't run!"

Jantra

Give It A Second...

A magician was walking down the street.

Then, he turned into a grocery store.

aworldwithoutshrimp

Car Humor. That's All.

Dad putting car in reverse

Dad: Ahh, this takes me back

Hkatsupreme

That's Always The Point

Not a joke in the traditional sense but, when I'm at a restaurant and the waitress says "Do you wanna box for that?" I always reply with "No, but I'll wrestle you for it."

No one ever gets it but it makes me laugh. And that's the point, right?

bdoz138

And the King of Them All...?

I tell dad jokes.

Sometimes he laughs.

Moleskin21