I don't know about you, but nothing gets me feeling stylish and edgy quite like poverty!
Every month when I open my student loan statement and see that my legacy will be tens of thousands of dollars of debt, I catwalk-stomp down my hallway to RuPaul's "Glamazon" while waving my iPhone flashlight to approximate flashbulbs because I feel like Gigi Hadid with a useless bachelor's degree.
But if you're having trouble finding your style groove, try this hot tip. The next time you're getting ready for a night on the town and not quite feeling yourself, look in the mirror and repeat the phrases, "wage stagnation," "record economic inequality," and "rising homelessness" and I promise you will feel stylish and avant garde.
Just kidding! All but five of us are going to die in debtor's prison and there is nothing funny or cool about poverty and its rapidly growing ranks.
Unless you're apparel brand Golden Goose that is!
The Italian fashion house just released its Fall 2018 line, which includes a pair of "distressed" sneakers that include tattered duct tape around the toes, just like the poors do it! The cost for this couture? $530--just shy of 70 hours of minimum wage work before taxes! Who says poors can't have style?!
As you might expect, social media was NOT having it with these duct-tape sneaks, which, I remind you, COST 530 ACTUAL DOLLARS:
While others saw this as an opportunity:
To be fair, the trend isn't new: Golden Goose got mocked back in 2016 for doing the same thing, and it's not like distressed clothing hasn't been a trend to one extent or another since the 1980s.
But "crumply, hold-it-all-together tape" as an accessory? Come on, guys.
On the bright side:
So chin up, poors!