When a friend finds the perfect date and love blossoms, we want to root for them.
And while the trajectory of love is unpredictable, we stand by our friends who seem to be very amorous of each other and support them when they face challenges.
However, we also know when to back down after identifying red flags that indicate things could potentially go south.
Love experts shared their thoughts when Redditor Dazzling_Leopard4627 asked:
"What just screams 'this couple isn’t going to make it'?"
These couplings were doomed from the start.
Obsessive Vice
"His $700 Only Fans monthly bill. Their wedding is in July."
– Atxflyguy83
"Never been on it so I wouldn't know. Allegedly, the soon-to-be wife knows about it. Not certain that's the truth or not though."
"To top it all off, the whole wedding is poorly planned with an insane amount of invitees (300). Having it out in the middle of no where with no real amenities nearby. Closest motel is a 30 minute drive. At a spur-of-the-moment 'family friend's' place that wants to run a wedding venue on their property. It will be the first one."
"They think they can do it on a $5,000 budget. With 300 guests...4th of July weekend."
"I so badly want to be a fly on the wall to watch the absolute madness on that day. Sadly, I just get to hear about it from my coworker."
– Atxflyguy83
Crying Solution
"Having a 'fix-it' baby"
– washedcash
"Or staying together/getting married due to an accidental pregnancy. I can tell you from being the child of parents who 'stayed together for the children' that you probably shouldn't do that"
– washedcash
A Tight Leash
"Controlling the other’s actions. Won’t let them see friends/family, do hobbies or really anything alone and for themselves."
– lobasolita
"Those are often worse… cause the relationship doesn’t continue long after it should have stopped but the victim doesn’t even know they are being abused."
– AccountantDirect9470
"I started to go to therapy because I was told quite often how bad a husband I was and I didn't do enough and I needed help. So I got help and half way through my third session she stops me and asks if I was in an abusive relationship."
"I got pissed for a sec because I thought she was accusing me of being abusive. She gave me a sheet that had a sh*t ton of check boxes. And when I was done filling it out was in tears."
"I knew things were weird and bad some times but the love bomb would happen and everything was fine. It's 100 % true that it's invisible and I went through it for 20 years. Worst for the last 13."
– IamUrquan
Creating Drama
"When one party starts a fight in order to keep the relationship 'interesting' or 'spice things up'. While conflicts or arguments are pretty normal, starting up one for the sake of not having a 'boring relationship' is bonkers to me."
– starkissedjade
"When they take constant little digs at each other in a group setting. They may even claim to be joking, but you can tell they're not."
– missdovahkiin1
Bad Combination
"One party making a whole f*ckton of concessions for the other, and that being unidirectional. One person is compromising, but the other is just taking and taking and getting everything they want with no compromise in return."
"Desperate people let themselves get taken advantage of because they're worried they'll never find another partner, or they'll be too old to have kids soon, or whatever."
"The second someone who isn't selfish comes along to attract the downtrodden partner, or when the selfish prick hits them or some other such Rubicon crossing, the relationship falls apart like wet tissue paper."
– Alcorailen
Too much of a good thing seems to be a guise for hiding something that isn't working.
Putting On A Show
"Excessive humble-bragging posts. Almost all the couples I’ve seen who do that on my social media, are now broken up. I can’t help but feel like there’s a correlation."
– Superb_Trade3373
"They’ve actually done studies. Couples that frequently post about their relationships tend to be less happy than those that keep a lower profile."
– Elizabeth__Sparrow
Bygones
"Phew, that really tracks with the folks I know. The one gal who was constantly not just bragging, but being like super aggressive about how 'y’all just wish you had a man like mine, but it’s okay if you’re jealous,' etc."
"Well now they’ve broken up and she’s airing ALL their dirty laundry publicly. Like, sometimes we should all know a little less about each other."
"Same with my in laws— the only difference is that they’ve been together so long, sunk cost fallacy and codependency prevent them from being able or willing to leave each other. They’re miserably unhappy but all I ever see on FB are kumbaya 'my life is so perfect with the hubs'.”
– _banana_phone
"OMG and all the public birthday and anniversary wishes. 'To my AMAZING wife. Another year together and even better than the last!!' WTF are you posting this crap on FB?????? Is she not in the same house as you?"
– domestipithecus
"Yeah straight up. A Facebook friend of mine got a girlfriend, and alllllll of their posts would always include something like ‘thank you for putting up with me even when im not nice’ or ‘we’ve already been through and hell and back’
"My guys it’s a 1 year relationship you shouldn’t be having these issues already!"
"Needless to say they split up."
– anchors__away
Some relationships just aren't salvageable.
Jumping To Conclusions
"Not giving each other the benefit of the doubt when a miscommunication or something happens. Quick to just assume the worse or habits."
– Sabre_One
"100%! I’m going through a divorce. I asked my husband what was something I could do to improve our marriage. He said to stop manipulating him after work."
"I asked what he meant, he said when he comes home I give him a big hug and a kiss to manipulate him when I know he’s busy. I had no clue. I thought I was making a connection."
"I never stopped him from going about his day, just a quick hug and kiss. I knew then it was over. He never gave me the benefit of the doubt."
– redryder25
Looming Threat
"Every time they argue, one of them starts talking about divorce."
– DandeSat
Immaturity
"Passive aggressive nitpicking."
– Myzx
"My parents are doing this for some 30 years, they are always arguing over the most minuscule stuff whether it’s making dinner or doing household chores together."
– Advarrk
"This is my sister and her husband. I would say it’s 3-5 nitpicks an hour. It is so draining after awhile. I’ve had to draw a boundary around them."
– kingsla07
There is no such thing as a perfect relationship.
But you can strive towards a goal of having a healthy one, and that means working through any inherent issues as long as the individuals involved are mutually interested in longevity.
The hard work is worth it for the long haul, or so I've heard.
