Country singer Kyle Coulahan has a cool new tune for the masses, and it's a real groundbreaking tune that not only sounds unlike anything before it but has lyrics that come at the American experience in a whole new way that really makes you think.
Just kidding—it literally sounds identical to every country song ever made and the lyrics are about the flag, Jesus, Talladega (literally) and, of course, that perennial right-wing favorite: "pronouns."
Ah, yes, that vexing liberal agenda of *checks notes* grammatical parts of speech. Darn you, libs!
The song is basically a minute's worth of listing conservative stereotypes about liberals, which is weird given that they literally just won control of the entire government and their president has spent the past month passing executive orders requiring we all pretend trans people don't exist.
You'd think they'd move on to other topics now, but nope! Coulahan's song goes:
“I never understood the whole pronoun thing"
"Or why people think it was OK to push their agenda ‘til we believe."
A yes, asking someone to call you by a pronoun is pushing an agenda, but passing executive orders forcing people to use only certain pronouns on things like passports is not. Yep, makes total sense!
That's not all Coulahan has to gripe about, however.
“Burning our flag and waving their own,"
"talking trash but they don’t want to go home cause they’re in the land of the free."
“Sounds like a whole lot of bulls*** to me.”
Pretty big talk for a guy who rhymes "hunting season" with "blood of Jesus," but go off!
The pronoun thing was, of course, the bit of Kyle's song that the internet seized on, since his own lyrics are full of pronouns due to the fact that languages cannot function without them.
Naturally, a grammar lesson quickly ensued in the comments, along with some other choice words.
Congratulations to Kyle on his huge country hit. We look forward to the next one.
@jaketapoer/Bluesky
@BillAckman/Twitter