Things People Secretly Found On Their Partner's Phone That Changed The Relationship Forever

I've always felt it prudent to heed the warning of some of life's oldest shared pearls of wisdom.

Such as... "Careful, curiosity killed the cat."

We often cannot help ourselves.

Humans are naturally curious.

Well, let's be really honest, suspicious is probably the more accurate term.

We snoop, we spy, we lie and then we're shocked by what we discover.

Imagine, searching for trouble, then being mad you found it.

Discovering private information can upend lives.

But sometimes, it must be done.

Redditor gotwire wanted to hear about the secrets people have uncovered about a partner, so they asked:

"What’s something you found on a partner’s phone that instantly changed the relationship forever — but they never knew you saw it?"

The Last Messages

"His messenger chats with my mom. He joked with my mom a lot and would always ask about me, what I was like as a kid, why am I so full of energy, and how to take care of me. My mom had cancer and passed away last 2023 but their last messages to each other was him assuring her he'd take care of me the way she wants to."

- Chispiken

Kristen Bell Awww GIFGiphy

Notes

"A few years ago, I was adding some items to the Notes app grocery list on my wife's phone. The app opened to the most recent list, which was a copy of her wedding vows with the promises she made to me (things like supporting my dreams and being my partner in crazy adventures)."

"Beside each one was a list of ideas to match - including some things we had done recently. We were going through a rough patch at the time and seeing that list doubled my resolve to work through it."

- timothywilliams2017

The End

"I went through my partner's phone after he passed away from cancer last year. I had to find contact numbers for a few friends, not on the funeral list we made."

"In his notes app, I found phrases he used in his letters to me, as we often wrote to each other when he was in hospital and visiting times were short. English was not his first language and I hadn't realized how hard he had practiced in order to say what he wanted to say. I sent myself a copy of those notes and look at them often."

- charlie1701

Perfect

"There was a photo album of nothing but pictures of me and our son titled, 'My Perfect Men.' There were pictures in there I didn't even know about -- him helping me wash my car, us laying on the couch, him teaching me Minecraft, me helping him ride a bike, etc."

"I was a mess for a while. Ugly crying. Happy tears, but ugly crying. I had no idea I was loved so deeply by her."

"My wife is quiet, introverted, and didn't grow up in an environment that was outwardly loving. I wasn't snooping at all, but asked her to share some recent pictures of our son after a sports day at his school. I saw her in a different light after that. Our already good marriage hit a level I didn't even know was possible."

- fameone098

Gift Ideas

"He handed me his phone when he was driving so I could text his mom for him. When I unlocked his phone it opened to a note that was just a list of everything I've ever mentioned that I liked and it was titled 'gift ideas.' Like one of the items on the list was something I had seen in the window of a shop and mentioned that I thought it was cute then we just kept walking. It made me feel so loved to know that he paid attention to every tiny thing. We're married now... lol."

- eugeneugene

Bye Baby

"A couple of months into dating a girl I was sitting in the passenger seat of her car waiting for her to come back from running inside her house when I saw a text come through on her phone that said, 'Happy anniversary, baby. Can't wait to see you tonight!' So, yeah, that ended."

- lutlowt

Ryan Gosling Hello GIF by The Late Show With Stephen ColbertGiphy

The Bestie

"Not his phone, but my late husband's tablet. A year after he died, I was clearing his tablet of stuff and saw he had a Twitter account. I was reading through his posts and hit one that had me in tears for the rest of the day. He had responded to some thread about keeping women in their place, or some such garbage. "

"Husband had posted a long rant about how being married for 35 years to a woman who never tired of learning, who never let things stop her, who stayed interested in new things, was the best thing in his life, and that a smart, thinking woman kept his life interesting and exciting."

"I always knew he felt this way, but seeing him say this to a total internet stranger, in a forum he thought I would never see, was just kind of overwhelming for a few days. We were friends for 45 years, best friends for 43 years, and married for 37 years. He died 3 1/2 years ago, and the hole in my life is just as big as the day he died. I'm not languishing, or yearning to follow him anytime soon, but I miss him, tremendously."

- hooyah54

Sneaky Sneaky

"Notes keeping track of how long since we last had a fight, when to pick the next one if we haven’t had one by then, and potential things to pick a fight about. She didn’t believe in a relationship going more than 4 weeks without a fight."

"Also a list of my passwords she’d managed to uncover."

- admles

GOTCHA!!!

"Proof that she was cheating. Took a video with my own phone of all the proof."

"Then confronted her that I knew she was cheating but didn't tell her how. She confessed to cheating with an entirely different person than what I had proof of. Wild times lol."

- discountbl**job

"A relative of mine was a school teacher. When a kid was in trouble, he’d sit them down and say, ‘I already know what happened, but this is your opportunity to tell your side’. He said he had to train himself to hide his surprise because it almost always resulted in the kid admitting to a bunch of different things besides what they were suspected of."

- PreservedKill1ck

Many Faces

"A folder with pictures of me, but not pictures on dates or anything, mostly pictures of me making silly faces or sleeping or eating. It showed me that he values me being comfortable and just existing a lot more than being dolled up and perfect constantly."

- ohmybubbles

Kermit The Frog Smile GIF by Muppet WikiGiphy

It's MEEEE!!!

"My husband changed his phone password to my name within 3 months of us dating. He didn’t tell me he had - I only realized one day when I needed to unlock his phone and asked. I had trust issues going into our relationship, so it was a shock that someone would use my name for anything."

"We’ve now been together for 7 years, and I’m still his password."

- sunset_bean

Breakdown

"She left a Facebook messenger conversation between her and her friend open on her computer. I'd use her computer when was at class but it was her complaining how much time I spent at her apartment and that I was smothering her by always being around. I was surprised by this as she'd have a breakdown and accuse me of abandoning her when I'd leave to stay at my own place for a few days."

- spookycamphero

Tabs

"Me and my fiancé have a really chill relationship. We respect that phones are private so we don’t snoop but use each other's phones all the time for stuff like a torch etc when we grab whatever’s nearest or to google a number."

"I was asking about something and he said look it up and passed his phone. I went to Google and it opened his last tab… he was looking at engagement rings. I clicked on another tab and searched on that instead to try to hide that I’d seen it. I never confessed I’d seen it but Wow."

"I knew pretty early on I wanted to spend my life with him and we’d had casual conversations but I’m a natural skeptic. To see that just really solidified in my little worried brain that he wasn’t lying when he said he loved me."

- Bubbly_North_2180

Psycho

"After a year of remaining moderately stoic, I confided in her about some emotional torment I was experiencing and broke down and cried in front of her. I found texts to her friend a few hours later about how psycho and emotional I was. That was the last time I ever showed any feelings and broke up with her 6 months later."

- Intergalactic_Lion

Angry Bbc Two GIF by BBCGiphy

Well, this was a much sweeter thread than I was preparing myself for.

I thought this was going to be all heartache and bad behavior.

To be honest, I'm slightly bummed.

There are actually nice people in healthy relationships out there.

I'm not one of them, but good for y'all.

Some people are definitely nosy.

Be careful when hunting for private information.

There will be consequences.

Have any of you discovered any surprising info about an ex while perusing their personal effects?