Just when things in 2018 couldn't get any more disturbing, we now have Stormy Daniels telling us in her new book what Donald Trump's penis looks like. Yes, this is happening.
In her memoir, Full Disclosure, Daniels does not hold back on the details, even if half the free wold is begging her to. Nope, she goes for it, and describes the first penis in cringe worthy detail, saying:
He knows he has an unusual penis. It has a huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool. I lay there annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart.
Now it seems Buzzfeed misreported on this breaking news by saying:
Daniels was likely referring to Toad, the "mushroom-hatted" character from Nintendo's Mario series.
And that is how we got the weirdest correction to a story ever in the entire history of the world.
Yep, you read that correctly:
"A previous version of this story referred to Toad as 'mushroom-hatted.' The mushroom is actually his head. We deeply regret this error."
Because THAT is the part of the story that is F'd up.
It's just so... we can't even... what the...
Most of us feel just like this.