Women and men truly are a separate species, each with our own quirks and personalities. While that could be chalked up to individual upbringings combined with societal norms, there also may be something biological at play.
However, sometimes it's easier to meet the person and see what they're like. Bisexuals fortunately have the privilege of interacting with both sexes on an intimate level and, thanks to the internet, reveal the knowledge they've discovered.
Reddit user Rob-ThaBlob wanted to know:
Bisexuals of Reddit what are the differences between having sex with a male and a female?
It's All In The Intensity And Power
"I'm a man, and I like both, being with a woman is fun and passionate and smooth, being with a guy is hot and wild, and a lot more intense. Just my opinion."
"Top or bottom in M/M?"
"I would consider myself a bottom, Most of the men I have been with have been more aggressive which I like and naturally I respond to a more submissive nature, I find it very fun to not be in control and see what happens, when most of the men I've been with have been much stronger than I, I like to be in control as much as I like to be out of control. I love being with men either way."
You Know The Set-Up Pretty Well
"In my limited experience I've found that sex with other women is kind of easier. I've just had more practice with vaginas, I know what feels good for me and (so far) it translates easily to what feels good for other women. Sex with men isn't any less pleasurable, it just takes longer for me to figure out what feels good for them, especially since men tend to be less vocal in bed (which is a huge bummer, please don't be afraid to make noise to let your partner know they're doing something right)."
"Spending time figuring out what a new partner likes can be fun too, but with other women I always feel like I've got a head start (wink wink)"
Primal and Instinctive
"The differences for me personally are that with men I am more submissive but with women I am wayyyy more dominant. Sex with men feels like a job that just needs to be finished vs with women it feels so primal and instinctive. If that makes sense..."
Connection: Not Established
"I feel like when I (female) had a one night stand with another female, I always seemed more intimate than a one night stand with a male."
"With girls, it just seemed closer for some reason."
"With guys, there was always some sort of disconnect."
Power Vs. Fun
"Sex with a guy feels way more powerful, and sex with a woman feels more like fun. However, if you in love with her then it's pretty intense."
"Also hookups with guys feels much different and almost more sexy."
Talk It Over With Your Partner
"Ive had a conversation about this with my SO once. We're both [bi] but he's a dude I'm a girl."
"for bi guys, sex with men means you got to take something, which is a whole unique experience you may not be into. But also Sex with men doesn't last as long as Sex with women."
"For girls, sex with women lasts much longer. Sure you can dominate If you're into that, but unless you got toys, nobody's really on top. Also it's so much easier to tell a girl what you want, and it never hurts like a dude in your a-- would. (Unless you're into that) as you can tell I prefer women in bed. Pretty biased."
"For both of us though, the dom and the sub switches. We both prefer to dom women and sub to men."
After A While, You'll Know For Sure
"Dudes are pretty easy to get off."
"Women take a bit of figuring out."
"And with women, you can never be sure they actually got off, too."
There's Power In The Feeling
"Bi M"
"Men with other men have an intensity of sexual energy unmatched by any other pairing. Generally speaking. It's like an ever intensifying feedback loop. The heights of animalistic lust experienced with f-cking a man are indescribable. Like you can almost feel it permeating the air."
"There's a few women I've been with able to replicate this, but not many."
Perhaps It Means Something Different
"I'm a big fan of female partners getting rough with me (choking, slapping, etc) but that is totally off limits if I'm with a male partner. I don't know if that's just because I've typically only had flings/one nighters with guys (as opposed to relationships with women) so there's not been the opportunity to build trust, but that's the big difference I've noticed for me."
Easy Lure
"Guy here. Honestly, the biggest difference is that it's way easier to sleep with a guy than a girl. I have no idea how to go about attracting a woman. I'm pushing 30 and they're still a mystery to me. Guys? It's a lot easier and you don't even have to be very attractive to find someone who'll sleep with you."
Gets The Job Done
"Every woman I've slept with doesn't stop until I'm finished."
"Can't say that for every man, lol."
Physicality Levels Vary
"Other than the obvious... I would say that in sex women are gentle even when they are rough and men are rough even when they are gentle. That's not exactly right.... but its true though. And I don't just mean the act of penetration receiving vs giving. The only thing that doesn't line up with this is receiving oral sex from a man as man, which is amazingly gentle and good (or can be). But giving oral sex... way more physical thanon a woman. Even kissing is somehow more... physical, less gentle. A lot of the other answers are also true."
Act vs. Context
"Everyone's different, but in general: Men are about the ACT, women are about the CONTEXT."
"If a guy wants to screw you, or wants to do something specific they just want to do it. A freight train could be bearing down on them and they'd go "well, we've got time before it gets here, best not waste it".
"What a girl wants to do is very, very much more determined by how she feels about you specifically, how sexy she finds the environment, what else is happening in her life, the fluidity of the communication, and the expectations (or lack thereof) for a relationship."
It's All In The Perception
"Bi M"
"for me it's a lot like getting dinner"
"sometimes I want a nice intimate night out with a diverse menu and great service (being with a woman)"
"and sometimes I'm drunk, it's 3am, and I just need to find a place that's still open (being with a guy)"
Like Making Love To A Carpet
"In my experience women tend to care more about how they're perceived than dudes do. They doll up, they get sexy, they shave their legs. Guys dont really do that. Most of the time it's like "oh I'm gonna get laid". Even when chicks are just DTF they're not just throwing on sweat pants."
"Dudes tend to make awkward small talk more often. Probably because our minds focus on the end goal more than the act. Also, hair EVERYWHERE"
"Save the planet, shave."
They're Not Radio Knobs
"My only real big difference is the nipples. Girls are softer and more sensual, guys tend to play with them like they're trying to twist open a bottle of Coke."
Change The Questions
"Women don't ask other women "did you come" because 1. they know what a fake orgasm looks like and 2. they know the orgasm is not the whole entire point of sex."
"I strongly encourage men to learn from this latter point. Ask "how was it for you' or something. Don't ask "did you come," we don't always and it doesn't mean anything went wrong and it's no big deal unless you insist it is."
Positioning It Right
"For me, the biggest difference in the power exchange. With women, I'm way more toppish and with men, way more bottom-ish."
"The sex itself is different but mostly just due to the parts."
"However,...all of those reasons are why M/F sex is great... because of the sharing of feeling and sensation. And oral can be done as often as partners like. And anyone can and SHOULD learn to read their partners body language."
"So, for me... lesbian sex means you take turns focusing on the other person almost exclusively, while hetero sex means you get to enjoy the sensations simultaneously or separately."
What an interesting read! Love is love is love is love.
Do you have similar experiences? Let us know in the comments below.
