The Best Pickup Lines People Have Ever Heard

There is no magic line for me.

But I'm a lifelong pessimist.

Let's Play

"When I was teaching kindergarten, one of my students (who knew I love video games) dropped this one on me..."

“'You’re pretty. You should come to my house after school and we can play Little Big Planet. My mom makes great snacks.'”

"His mom and I had a good laugh about it at pick-up time."

donkeyuptheminaret

The Mice

"This girl I used to work with and I went to a bar after work and we’re having fun, and she leans over to tell me a joke. And she says..."

"3 boy mice and a girl mouse were all stuck in a room with no doors and no windows. One of the boy mice asked the girl mouse how to get out and she said 'Sleep with me tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning.'"

"Next day he is gone. The 2nd boy mouse asks the girl mouse how he got out and she says, 'Sleep with me tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning.'"

"Next day, he’s gone too."

"So now the girl telling me this joke says to me. 'Do you want to know how the last mouse gets out of the box?' And I say 'yes.' And she says, 'Sleep with ME tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning.' All this while staring me in the eyes and smiling.

"I said,' 'Check please bartender!!' I forgot to ask her in the morning, but that was the best pickup line I’ve ever heard."

reb678

Tequila

"A woman once told me 'Every time I drink tequila I wind up sleeping with someone' and then proceeded to take a shot of tequila while holding eye contact with me."

Thefuturehasbears

"LOL, I was on a date in Hawaii and she said 'Tequila either makes me h**ny or angry' and I replied 'Don’t be angry, be the other one' and she went to buy us more tequila shots."

"I was so drunk I fell asleep on the car ride and she dropped me off."

Scytherx781

"They said ‘best pickup line’ not ‘best drop off line’ lol."

chalmedtomeetyou

That Kid

"I was at my friend's house and his 5-year-old brother grabbed one of our friends by the hand and asked if he could play her a song on his guitar. She said yes, he picked up his guitar but stopped just before strumming it, thought for about 30 seconds, and said 'I don't know any songs for princesses.'"

"That little kid had way more game that 19-year-old me had."

physics515

"When I was a student at University, I saw a pretty girl eating a particular brand of yogurt in the crowded dining hall before morning classes."

"I had the same brand of yogurt on my tray. I asked if I could sit at her table and she nodded. I looked across the table at her and pointed at her yogurt and said with a big shmucky smile 'Yoplait or mine?' It was said with humor and not as a pickup line. I ended up marrying that pretty girl. Amazing, given the horrible first line."

cblatnik

This is why I have never trusted any Yogurt.

Convince me otherwise!

I'm Hungry!

"It’s not a pickup line as such, but this guy once said to me in passing, 'GIIIIRRRLL, I wanna feed you STEAK and GRAPES!' and I have never forgotten."

PicardiB

Wanna Share?

"Once was at a festival where an org was giving out free condoms at a booth. One of the ladies is talking to a guy and a girl saying 'the condoms are free by the way, take as many as you want... oh but we don't have unlimited stock so please don't take more than you need.'"

"The girl picks up a condom, turns to the guy, and says 'Wanna share?'"

getyourshittogether7

The Frost

"It was the first snowfall of the season. The person and I were walking around campus together - we were friends who were heading out to grab a snack in between classes. We were quietly walking when the person suddenly said to me: 'The snow looks beautiful today.' In my native language, my name means snow/frost/ice. Turned out they were hitting on me and I didn't realize until later."

Confident_Cell_1350

Over the Shoulder

"On Halloween, a buddy of mine was dressed as a Viking. He asked a girl if she wanted to hear his Viking pickup line. She said yeah. So he literally picked her up and threw her over his shoulder and said he was taking her back to the boat. They dated for almost a year."

Reddit

Lines

"Take note that many of the best 'lines' are not openers, but are relevant follow-up comments once you are already in the flow and have a friendly rapport. And they are not really 'lines' per se, so much as situationally appropriate wit and timing (which are always attractive). Always better to just be present and focus on connection and context, not memorizing and saving a particular line for some future situation that may never come."

lurque

SCORE!!!

"At a college Halloween party, I was dressed up as Kazooie (although everyone assumed I was an angry bird) and I walked up to a woman dressed up as a golfer and told her that she could score a birdie tonight."

thepasz

Halloween is always an issue.

There are better holidays to meet people.