Bartenders Describe The Wildest Things They've Seen While On The Job

In 1988, the movie Cocktail came out. Costars Tom Cruise and Bryan Brown made being a bartender seem glamorous and sexy.

The reality is a lot less exciting. Bartending can be fun and lucrative, but it's still a service industry job.

Rude customers with alcohol added can make things a lot less fun. But wild customers with alcohol added can make for a great story.

Reddit user SquirrelThis9251 asked:

"Bartenders of Reddit, what was the wildest thing you witnessed on the job?"

Whose Bright Idea?

"A lightbulb fell out of the fitting, and hit a guy on the head."

"He thought someone had thrown it."

"A massive pub brawl ensued."

~ Mysterious-Eye-8103

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Invitation

"I had a drunk woman put her head down on the edge of the bar and throw up underneath. When we told her she had to leave she stood up, slipped on her own puke, slammed her head on granite bar top, and fell into her own mess."

"When she stood back up, she had a cartoonish-sized knot on her forehead. She then smiled and asked me what I was doing later… I respectfully declined."

~ BoozeSlinger32

Bathroom Break

"A guy walked up to the bar and asked for a drink. He was visibly hammered so coworker said he was going to close the guys tab and get him a cab."

"Drunk guy responded surprisingly well. Said, 'OK, I just need to go to the bathroom first and I’ll be back'."

"Like a toddler, this guy drops his pants to the floor and just starts peeing. Other bartender screams 'ARE YOU F*CKING PISSING ON MY FLOOR?'."

"And the dude sort of snaps back to reality, looks horrified at his handiwork, and just grabs his pants up and runs."

~ throwaway2023269

Messy

"Back in the late 80's I was tending bar at a Bennigan's. The dude walks in around 11 pm. Walked, talked, and looked sober."

"Ordered a wild turkey boiler maker. We chatted, I ran his card for the tab, set the drinks on the bar, and walked to the kitchen to grab a food order. A few minutes later, I turned around, and he wasn't there anymore."

"I looked over the bar to find him on the floor in a pool of his own pee. I call the manager who comes with a busboy to clean up the mess."

"While waiting for a cab at the host station, dude gets his back up, takes a swing at the manager, falls flat on his face, blood splatter from his busted nose went everywhere. Before the busboy could get to the mess, dude pees himself again."

"This time we called the cops. The dude admitted to popping a couple of Xanax just before walking in."

~ ltsmobilelandman

H2O

"We had a guy come in and absolutely pound glass after glass of water. Like, an insane amount. He got drunk. Off water!"

"We called the cops because he wouldn't leave and was being a problem. Turned out he was an escapee from a mental hospital."

"This is what he did on his day of freedom. I've never seen anything like that since."

~ JenDidNotDoIt

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New Product

"The week Bud Platinum came out. I was tending bar at the Buffalo Wild Wings in the Atlantic terminal in Brooklyn. I've never, ever seen so many vomiting drunks in a single bar before."

"We had tried to warn them just how much more alcohol was in the Platinum compared to the Light."

"Three people threw up on the bar top in a half hour. Novelty wore off quickly, thank f*ck."

~ Langstarr

Tricks

"I once saw a bartender whilst mixing a cocktail fling the shaker from one hand to the other."

"He missed and it took out about 12 bottles on the shelf behind him."

"He tried to act casual and didn’t react and picked up a new shaker and began again."

~ DramaticFlair8

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Roadhouse

"Working a bar in Charlotte on a Saturday night, out front having a cigarette, when I see this group of fellas (whom we had tossed 15 mins prior for being too rowdy) struggling with their one friend who was the main reason they were removed."

"This man was adamant about getting back inside, and his four buddies could barely hold him back. They ended up all falling thru a chain link fence into a freshly dug pit in a construction zone across the street, and he came scrambling up on all fours like a demented spider monkey, rushed across traffic and back towards my bar."

"Also outside with me was our head of security, who I will call Vance. Picture a man that is 6’3 260lbs and looks like a black Mr. Clean. Vance wasn’t paying attention to the fracas developing because he was on the phone talking to some of his employees."

"The RedBulldumba** went running straight towards the front door, and Vance was about a couple feet off to the side with his back towards the street."

"What happened next was magical. Somebody hollered 'Vance, look out!' And he immediately turned and unleashed the most bada** roundhouse kick you have ever seen."

"Without hanging up his phone call, he pivoted and launched that a**hole back towards the curb. Dude was knocked TF out, his buddies collected him and apologized, and we let them GTFO before anything else happened that might require police assistance."

"So what, you say? Bar fights are nothing THAT memorable if you’ve been behind the stick for many years, right?"

"The next morning I am setting up the BloodyMary bar for the Panthers tailgate pregame bullsh*t, when I hear this incessant knock at the front doors. Finally, go to answer it, and it’s the douchebag human piñata."

"'What do you want?'."

"Sir, I’m really, really sorry for my behavior last night. I was out of control, and I am so very sorry. But at some point last night I lost a tooth and I was hoping you either found it cleaning up or maybe I could check to see?'."

"Sure enough, the dumba** was missing one of his front teeth, like a bicuspid or something—I don’t frickin' know, I’m a bartender not a dentist. I didn’t think he would find it because the altercation happened mostly outside, but since he was carried out last night by security and his friends, I decided to humor him."

"I let him look around the floor while I continue setting up, when I hear him choke and snort. Bending over to look had caused the tooth which was lodged up in his sinus cavity to work itself loose."

"Y’all, Vance kicked that man so hard his tooth got stuck in his nose for 8 hours. Still one of the coolest things I’ve ever witnessed."

~ JoeyPole

Family Affair

"Oh boy, this one will stay with me forever. During one of the big events of the year, we had a full-on brawl break out in the parking lot between old dudes—most of which are vets—and young college-aged kids."

"After we broke it up and got them all apart, we asked what happened. The folks who started the brawl were a father and son who hadn't seen each other in a long time. Both agreed to meet and catch up and introduce their significant others."

"Turns out they were both dating the same girl."

~ Halycon1313

Keep Drinking

"Obligatory not a bartender, but back of house line cook and in this situation I had to give our bartender a hand. Smallish pub/restaurant in a small town."

"The owner gets extremely sauced one Friday night, ends up falling off the barstool in such a way that his head gets wedged between the foot rail and the front of the bar."

"We ended up having to remove the whole foot rail to get him out and it took us a minute or two to find the right tools, so he requested a glass of wine with a bendy straw so he could keep drinking while waiting to be released."

~ lovelyb1ch66

50 For 50

"It was a Monday night, shortly before COVID. I’m working alone on a normally sleepy shift, maybe 30 or so people expected at a maximum."

"Suddenly, 50 people walk in at the same time. They order 50 shots of tequila and 50 shots of brandy. Seems to be a celebration of life, so I oblige."

"Takes about 20 minutes to get thru the round since I don’t have 100 shot glasses, even with backups I only have about 35."

"Things start to get a little rowdier. Most of the regulars clear out. There's some increased general volume and some shouting between two groups of people."

"I tell them to cool it, or I’m done serving, which elicits a response that 'I just don’t know how people talk to each other,' and I’m misreading the tone."

"I assure them that I’ve seen people talk this way after consuming alcohol, and it doesn’t usually end peacefully. The shouting continues. At this point, I shut down the bar. No more drinks will be sold tonight."

"The desired effect was that everyone would leave, but it had the opposite effect. The crowd got rowdier, and eventually a punch got thrown."

"I sighed, put down the rack of clean dishes I was carrying, and made my way to the phone to call the cops. The scuffle started a fight that eventually ballooned into 25-30 people in a knock down drag out western movie style bar fight."

"I am not exaggerating when I say I saw the following things:"

"– five or six different groups of people fighting"

"– a man picked up a bar stool with one hand and windmill swung it before releasing it—it hit someone in the head"

"– another man picked up a person and smashed them down onto a table"

"– someone broke their leg"

"– multiple pint glasses were thrown"

"By the time the cops got in the door, 90% of the people were gone. The only ones left were the people that either couldn’t leave because they were too injured (see bar stool to head guy and broken leg guy) or the few regulars that were keeping their distance in the other bar area."

"Nothing ever came of it, despite knowing the identity of several (found a couple of wallets, cops knew of one of the people based on footage)."

"Blood everywhere. Bar completely ransacked. The owner came down, and we just had a beer in the middle of the destroyed bar after everyone left and then cleaned it all up."

"There’s still a long scuff on the floor where a table was shoved. Nothing that bad has ever happened there again."

~ brandump

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Do you have any wild bartending stories?