Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Alex Jones Roasted Hard After Claiming Average Penis Size Is A Third Of What It Was In The 1960s

Alex Jones Roasted Hard After Claiming Average Penis Size Is A Third Of What It Was In The 1960s
InfoWars

Far-right huckster and conspiracy theorist Alex Jones has the internet pointing and laughing once again after sounding the alarm that average penis size is shrinking so fast that men two generations from now won't have penises at all.

The commentary was part of a segment on—wait for it—"gay frogs."


That is, frogs who changed from male to female because of exposure to a toxic chemical. Which is of course not even what "gay" means, but that's the least of our worries here.

Anyway, Jones claims the data on these "gay frogs" whose sexuality is undetermined reveals the secret to why men's junk is now on average a third of the size it was in the 1960s, or something.

Here, see if you can make heads or tails of it in the clip below.

According to Jones, the chemical is also found in the linings of soda cans, and so ah ha! That's why our wieners are all shrinking! Or as Jones put it:

"That’s why genitals, I don’t care if you’re black or white, are a third of the size they were of a 1960s male."

Not sure what race has to do with this, but okay.

Jones then moved on to some utterly nonsensical math about what to expect in the penis-size department in the future.

"So the media makes jokes about that, a few months ago when I gave the example of: If your daddy's johnson was a foot long, yours is six inches long."
"And if yours was six inches, your son will be three inches."
"And [the one after that] won't even have a penis!"
"So they can make jokes about that all day long, but, this isn't a game."

It's hard to say which is worse here--the totally made-up math or the use of the term "johnson."

Now to be fair, it is true that a chemical found in common pesticides has been shown to change male frogs to female.

And many doctors and scientists have indeed been sounding alarms about endocrine-disrupting chemicals in common every day items resulting in decreased fertility and penis size.

But aside from the totally fallacious math, Jones of course claims this is all a vast conspiracy on the part of "globalists" to rid the world of penises or something.

"They are targeting all of us, together, right now."
"We are being hit by chemical and biological attack."
"Anyone that has survived Covid or the poison shots, is the survivor of a biological, nanotech, synthetic, genetically engineered system."

Okay then!

Of course Twitter had a field day roasting Jones for this absolutely deranged diatribe.





We look forward to whatever ludicrous theory Jones comes up with next.

More from Trending

Screenshot of Stephen Colbert
CBS

Stephen Colbert Makes Somber Plea To Americans In Wake Of Charlie Kirk's Death

Late-night host Stephen Colbert had a somber message for Americans as he addressed the assassination of far-right activist Charlie Kirk, stressing that "political violence only leads to more political violence."

Kirk died after an unidentified gunman shot him in the neck as he—ironically enough—mocked victims of gun violence at an event in Utah Valley State University. Kirk's murder has galvanized the far-right, with President Donald Trump and his surrogates claiming without evidence that rhetoric from Democrats is responsible for Kirk's death.

Keep ReadingShow less
a woman sunbathing on rocks.
a person sitting on a towel on a beach
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

People Share The Weirdest Flexes They Heard Someone Say With A Straight Face

It is never attractive to gloat.

Even so, some people can't help but brag, or "flex" as it is sometimes known, about certain accomplishments or attributes.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshots from @thedowntheredoc's TikTok video
@thedowntheredoc/TikTok

TikToker Hilariously Calls Out Target After Champion Pants Feature Awkwardly-Placed Front Pleat

Sometimes you can just tell when something was designed *for* women, but was not actually designed *by* women.

Take, for instance, the new pleated pants available at Target from the Champion clothing line. While there's nothing wrong with pleated pants and they certainly have a suitable spot in the workplace, the latest rendition of Champion pleated pants are, shall we say, NSFW.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshots from @kaicutch's Instagram video
@kaicutch/Instagram

Woman Flips Her Car After Belting Out Ironic Britney Spears Lyric In Wild Viral Video

Whether we want to admit it or not, we've all had our fair share of carpool karaoke and maybe even imagined our car as our own personal recording studio.

But TikToker and Instagrammer Kaitlynn McCutcheon may have gotten too into her performance of Britney Spears' classic, "Hit Me Baby, One More Time," when the road and her car both said, "Bet."

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshots from ​@lynnshazeen's TikTok video
@lynnshazeen/TikTok

Woman Goes Viral After Revealing How Her Obsession With Matcha Landed Her In The Hospital

Let's be honest: Too much of anything isn't good for us. It's all about the balance!

But the media and social media trends have taught us that certain things are really good for us, encouraging us to be like the "very mindful and very demure" girls and take care of ourselves. One such example is drinking more matcha, especially if you really like coffee or think you have a caffeine addiction.

Keep ReadingShow less