Far-right huckster and conspiracy theorist Alex Jones has the internet pointing and laughing once again after sounding the alarm that average penis size is shrinking so fast that men two generations from now won't have penises at all.
The commentary was part of a segment on—wait for it—"gay frogs."
That is, frogs who changed from male to female because of exposure to a toxic chemical. Which is of course not even what "gay" means, but that's the least of our worries here.
Anyway, Jones claims the data on these "gay frogs" whose sexuality is undetermined reveals the secret to why men's junk is now on average a third of the size it was in the 1960s, or something.
Here, see if you can make heads or tails of it in the clip below.
According to Jones, the chemical is also found in the linings of soda cans, and so ah ha! That's why our wieners are all shrinking! Or as Jones put it:
"That’s why genitals, I don’t care if you’re black or white, are a third of the size they were of a 1960s male."
Not sure what race has to do with this, but okay.
Jones then moved on to some utterly nonsensical math about what to expect in the penis-size department in the future.
"So the media makes jokes about that, a few months ago when I gave the example of: If your daddy's johnson was a foot long, yours is six inches long."
"And if yours was six inches, your son will be three inches."
"And [the one after that] won't even have a penis!"
"So they can make jokes about that all day long, but, this isn't a game."
It's hard to say which is worse here--the totally made-up math or the use of the term "johnson."
Now to be fair, it is true that a chemical found in common pesticides has been shown to change male frogs to female.
And many doctors and scientists have indeed been sounding alarms about endocrine-disrupting chemicals in common every day items resulting in decreased fertility and penis size.
But aside from the totally fallacious math, Jones of course claims this is all a vast conspiracy on the part of "globalists" to rid the world of penises or something.
"They are targeting all of us, together, right now."
"We are being hit by chemical and biological attack."
"Anyone that has survived Covid or the poison shots, is the survivor of a biological, nanotech, synthetic, genetically engineered system."
Of course Twitter had a field day roasting Jones for this absolutely deranged diatribe.
We look forward to whatever ludicrous theory Jones comes up with next.