Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

People Share The Worst Ways They've Seen Someone Defend Themselves In Court

People Share The Worst Ways They've Seen Someone Defend Themselves In Court

If you're going to have your day in court, you might want to show up with a lawyer.

Don't get us wrong: You absolutely have the right to defend yourself, but it isn't exactly recommended by most legal experts.

If you're curious as to why, look no further than "What's the worst defense you've seen someone make in court?" by Redditor X100123, which we'll regard as a primer for everything you totally should not do should you find yourself on the stand.


"I knew a guy..."

I knew a guy who said that the police who responded to the domestic that he had perpetrated had no right to charge him with meth possession since the meth was so pure, no one could have seen it.

123generic321

"Then she saw..."

Giphy

Friend of mine once got a ticket for leaving her car standing in the marked off no parking zone in front of a grocery store, which she thought was outrageous because she was just running in to get a pack of smokes.

Then she saw how much the ticket was for, something like $120, which she thought was just ridiculous because damn it, she was just running in for a pack of smokes. I mean, come on, how is that worth $120?


So her plan was to go to court and contest the ticket and point out to the judge how ridiculous that was and offer to compromise at like maybe $40 because for Pete's sake, she was just running in for a pack of smokes and let's be reasonable here.

Yes, her plan was to haggle with the judge over how much the ticket should be worth.

So she goes to court and sits there most of the day waiting for her case to be called. And eventually she gets bored and goes outside to grab a smoke and hang out. And while she's out there, her case is called. She missed the whole thing, didn't even get to try the whole "come on, $120? For that? Come on, I'll give you $40 and even that's highway robbery" defense on the judge and got hit for the full value of the ticket plus court costs.

Naberius

"I gave testimony..."

I gave testimony as a health professional in a child custody case. The mother wanted to revoke the father's joint physical custody of the 8-year old girl.

The issue was that girl was asked to wipe her father's butt, apply lotion, and wash his genitals.

The father's case was that because he was obese, fatigued, suffering from frequent diarrhea, and taxed to take care of his own hygiene without assistance, it was acceptable for her to do this as long as she wore gloves to avoid contracting hepatitis c from him.

He also argued that it taught her a lesson about compassion and caring for those unable to do so themselves, and helped them to bond. Truly incredible.

Voc1Vic2

"My sister..."

My sister told the judge that the light "wasn't that red". Then he said he was going to suspend her license and she said "but my dad already took it away."

sevenliveslater

"A domestic abuse case..."

A domestic abuse case, the husband was the accused. The couple was in their late 70s or early 80s.

When asked if he did indeed abuse his wife, the husband started complaining that some 40 years ago the wife pretended to be ill and he had to do the laundry all by himself, as if he expected the judge to just go "oh okay, I guess that's cool then."

IsThatServerLag

"I took a guy..."

I took a guy to small claims court. His defense was "I didn't have the product, so I couldn't ship it to him, obviously." The judge was like "but you took his money?" The guy: "Yea, so I could buy the product and ship it to him." Judge: "Did you do that?" Guy: "Not yet." Judge: "do you have his money?" Guy: "No, I had had an emergency and had to spend it." That was that, I won.

Looter629

"This was in..."

"It was Independence Day your honor. A day to celebrate the freedoms that our forefathers fought and died for. A day to celebrate what this country is. So yes, judge, I DID do some meth. For freedom."

This was in a drug treatment court.

ShutruckNahunte

"Was sitting in court..."

Was sitting in court for traffic violation, the guy in front of me had a speeding ticket, to fight it he pulled out a large stack of papers, about 3/4 of an inch thick. The stack of papers was a law he pulled out from the 1990s from a different country. The poor judge had to read through.

Muhable

"I watched a friend..."

I watched a friend try a DWI case. Her client testified that she wasn't drunk while driving, and therefore not guilty, because she was actually high on meth at the time. My friend put her head down and started hitting her head against the desk. GUUUILLLLLTTTTYYYYY.

MaiqTheLawyer

More from Trending/best-of-reddit

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
Tom Williams/CQ-Roll Call, Inc via Getty Images

AOC Has Mic Drop Response To MAGA Republicans Who Try To Mock 'Democratic Priorities'

New York Democratic Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez issued a powerful rebuke against President Donald Trump and the MAGA movement, pointing out why mocking things like affordable housing and the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) as "Democrat priorities" ultimately hurts Republicans.

Ocasio-Cortez, speaking during a CNN town hall alongside Vermont Independent Senator Bernie Sanders, accused Republicans of refusing to work to end the government shutdown, stressing that the country’s health care system could collapse if Republicans refuse to meet Democrats’ demands in negotiations.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshots from New Berlin Public Library's 'trust fall' skit
@newberlinlibrary/Instagram

Wisconsin Public Library Has Internet Cackling With Unexpectedly Hilarious 'Trust Fall' Video

When we think of the library, we think of books awaiting us on the shelves—but the New Berlin Public Library in Wisconsin is here to remind us that public libraries contain so much more.

This library in particular contains a "Library of Things," in which the public can access otherwise expensive items for free, like boardgames, learning resources, and even Halloween costumes.

Keep ReadingShow less
Dave Taylor
Bill Clark/CQ-Roll Call, Inc via Getty Images

GOP Rep. Blames Coordinated 'Ruse' After Swastika Image Is Seen Displayed In His Office

Ohio Republican Representative Dave Taylor demanded an investigation after a swastika image was found on display in his Washington, D.C., office, and blamed it on a "targeted" "ruse."

Politico obtained a photo from a virtual meeting showing a distorted image of the American flag—its red and white lines altered into the shape of a swastika— pinned to what appears to be a cubicle wall behind Angelo Elia, a staffer for Taylor. Beside it hung a pocket Constitution and a congressional calendar. Elia’s involvement in the incident, if any, remains unclear.

Keep ReadingShow less
A kitchen counter with appliances all over it
sink beside window
Photo by Arun Clarke on Unsplash

Everyday Items People Didn't Realize Were Super Expensive Until They Had To Buy Them

As children, we dream of becoming adults.

Living our own lives in our own homes, no longer under the rules and regulations of our parents.

Keep ReadingShow less
deceased family dog named Chop
KFOX14/CBS4

Popular Account 'We Rate Dogs' Unloads On Border Patrol For Killing Family's Beloved Dog During Search

As the internet evolved, certain social media accounts became known for providing wholesome, feel good content, like I Can Has Cheezburger?, The Dodo, and We Rate Dogs. Unsurprisingly, all three focus primarily on animals, offering amusing or heartfelt stories, videos, and memes as an escape from the trials and tribulations of daily life.

But the folks at We Rate Dogs recently took a departure from their usual content.

Keep ReadingShow less