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There's truly nowhere like New York city. In no other city do you get the same boundless energy, the same infinite diversity, the same broom closet-sized apartment for the price of three mortgage payments in many other cities.
That last one truly gives credence to Sinatra's maxim that "if you can make it there, you'll make it anywhere." New York apartments are not for the faint of heart.
But an apartment a realtor recently highlighted on TikTok is truly a brain-melter, even by New York standards. In the video, the realtor billed the apartment as "the worst apartment in New York" and, well, let's just say truth in advertising is this guy's strong suit.
This place is a waking nightmare.
As the TikToker, @newyorkcityrealtor, told us in the video, the studio apartment is in Manhattan's most coveted neighborhood—the West Village, one of the city's oldest sections and home to countless artists and icons throughout history.
The pluses of this apartment basically stop there.
Because this studio isn't really even a studio. It's more like a walk-in closet with a tiny sink and mini fridge shoved into one corner.
No stove, no oven, no freezer... There isn't even space for a microwave, let alone any of that stuff.
In fact, the apartment doesn't even appear to be wide enough for a bed to be placed across it—you know, so you can maybe walk through the apartment without the entire floor being consumed by your bed?
Also missing from this charming studio? A bathroom.
It's down the hall and shared with everyone else on the floor, like a college dorm except even college dorms have more than one toilet and one shower stall for an entire floor of people. And the bathroom is so small that the door juuuust barely clears the toilet itself.
Oh, also, there's no bathroom sink.
In short, not ideal in normal times, let alone in a pandemic.
The bathroom and shower situation in this building is so egregious that @newyorkcityrealtor had to make a whole separate TikTok to do it justice.
"Hey, at least it's cheap, right?" you may be thinking.
Well, in a word, no.
The pleasure of residing in this portal to hell—er sorry, "apartment"—will run you $1650. That's one thousand, six-hundred and fifty American dollars, equivalent to the mortgage payment for a roughly $300,000 house.
Only in New York.
Suffice to say, the realtor's fellow TikTokers were shook.
There truly is nothing like New York city, in all the best and most horrifying ways.