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People Explain How Saying Just A Few Words Changed A Relationship Forever

Three children sit at a black and white checkered cloth table. One child covers their eyes, another their ears, the third their mouth.
Photo by Keren Fedida on Unsplash

"Reddit user YoungJack23 asked: 'What was said, that forever changed your relationship with someone?'"

Words are powerful.

You can never take them back. Though you may be able to do damage control, you can't erase memory.


I've said things and have been told things that shattered my world, and others have made it better.

My memory is full of words that cut and uplifted.

Everyone's life is reflected in the relationships that were lost and won.

I know I'm not alone here.

Redditor YoungJack23 wanted to hear what life-altering words many of us have endured, so they asked:

"What was said, that forever changed your relationship with someone?"

Left Empty

"My mother told me that she believed that I hated her while I was at her house giving her money because she needed help to get through the week. I can still feel the hole that statement left in my heart."

- P0ncle

Heart Love GIF by kurrrtwuGiphy

My Sole Purpose

"For 3 years, someone and I worked together side by side and developed a close friendship. One day I got promoted to manager and became his boss. He threw a tantrum and screamed for hours, then refused to talk to me (Now his boss) for three days."

"When I finally scheduled a one-on-one meeting, he told me 'My sole job now is to make it clear they made the wrong decision. It's in my best interest to make sure that you fail.'"

"I tried for about a month to make it work, but eventually he had to be let go. That was the end of that friendship."

- muscledhunter

Adults are Idiots

"I was a dinosaur kid when I was little. Consumed books and information. I wanted to be a paleontologist. This was all maybe 6 to 10 years old. My obsession cooled a little bit, but I still really think they're awesome."

"My aunt and her family are very Christian. My whole family is, but she was a lot more hard-lined. She homeschooled her kids, didn't own a working television, and restricted a lot of food as well. Just a controlling person, really, but we didn't see them often, and she was just quirky to me."

"One time, during a visit, I mentioned something about dinosaurs. I was maybe 13 years old. In a sweet but condescending tone, she said there was never such a thing as dinosaurs. I countered with the fact that we have so many bones. She told me that Satan put the bones in the earth to defy God and have everyone question Him."

"At that moment, I understood how insane she was and that adults are just people and can be idiots as well."

- HahaYouCantSeeMeeee

You're Wrong

"Had a doctor tell me, 3 inches from my face, 'there is absolutely nothing wrong with you.' He seemed livid that I was wasting his time. Never ran a single test. Then recommended a psychiatrist. Once I finally found a new doctor, he found that I had late-stage cancer. Could have been caught much earlier if the 1st doctor listened."

Also, I had a friend tell me that she had already grieved my impending death, so that’s why I haven’t seen or heard from her for most of my cancer battle. I was already dead to her. I have no trust in anyone at this point."

- cancer4fighter

Why not You?!

"My grandmother's dog died and I went to her house to comfort her. We'd always been very close so I stayed for a while even though we had been fighting quite a lot."

"Well, I went over there and she cried while I comforted her. But then that's when she said something that still sticks in my head."

"She told me 'Why couldn't something happen to you instead.'"

And walked away. I immediately went back home and stopped all contact with her for a few weeks. She still denies saying that."

- hamiltrash1232

One Day Older

"In my late 20s, I was thinking about going to college, but I was afraid I was too old. Someone said to me, 'Next year you will be older.' I applied the next day."

- Cosimia1964

take notes GIFGiphy

Find the Joy

"I told a bare acquaintance that I was going through a divorce. She asked, 'Am I happy for you or sad for you?'"

"It was so nice to have someone acknowledge that a divorce could be something I could be happy about. It was also so empowering for her to essentially ask me which way she could be emotionally supportive of me."

- notreallylucy

No, You Haven’t...

"I let it slip at a doctor’s office that I was feeling hopeless and down for weeks prior, but I lied and said that it was because of the news when in actuality, I wanted to attend God’s meet-and-greet. I lied because I saw that my mom was glaring at me and shaking her head as if to say 'No, you haven’t.' She got all mad and stormed out and yelled at me in the car 'Do you know how this makes me look as a mother?!?' I was 13. That’s when I realized my mother never cared about her kid. Only appearances. And so I “appeared” to love and care about her for the coming years ☠️ ☠️☠️."

- bbsbsbshah

Yeah, That Was Me...

"I was barely holding it together as I was talking to my dad about how I'd have to make some calls to the bank because there were thousands of dollars missing from my account. And he just casually says, 'Yeah, that was me.' He'd decided, without asking, to use my money to pay for household expenses, like changing the tires on the car. Thousands of dollars gone."

"Just thinking about now it puts me in the mindset of a desperate man with nothing left to lose. The reason I didn't pursue legal action was that I'd be spending thousands more just to send him to prison. Instead, I moved out asap and haven't seen or spoken to him since."

- 2Scarhand

Inconvenient

"My therapist said I've only been friends with you for so long because it's convenient. I don't have to try to make other friends or get out of my comfort zone. But other than that we aren't really friends anymore... I think she might be right."

"Said to me by my best friend of 20 years. He was like an older brother to me, we were so close that we would have crazy ESP moments of texting each other the same thing at the exact same time. We just knew each other THAT well. He was my platonic soulmate."

"It's been four years since he told me that. Four years since we last spoke. I just can't seem to heal this one."

- NonConformistFlmingo

The End is Near

"My ex spent about eight years always going on about being childfree and not wanting to ruin her life with kids. I was always on the same page because I knew I didn't want kids. One random day, she says 'You know, I'm thinking I'd like to have kids. I don't wanna go through the hassle of raising them, so maybe we'll hire a nanny like my parents did... but I totally have baby fever, and I'm not refilling my birth control anymore.'"

"That was the beginning of the end of our relationship."

- Maldito_Desgraciado

5 Years

"I asked my super-rich aunt for help paying my rent once, and she called my sister to ask her what was going on since they were much closer than we were. My sister and I had been extremely close all of our lives. She told my aunt not to help since I was a drug addict, and that's where all the money was going to go. I've never done drugs other than some pot. I got evicted and ended up having to quit my job and move across the country. We now haven't spoken in almost five years."

- Rude-Worry-6128

You've Gotten Fat...

"When I was 10 or 11, my parents had brought us to get some clothes from the thrift store. We didn't have much money, so we hardly bought new clothes. Most of my clothes I'd wear until there were holes or they didn't fit. My dad brought over some pants the size I had previously. He was angry and frustrated since it was late, and he didn't want to be out. When I said they didn't fit, he told me 'You've gotten fat' before storming off."

I started middle school worrying about my weight and defaulted to an eating disorder. I even now still have issues with my weight and self-worth because of it."

- sicksages

Hit My Heart

"When my friend told me she knows..."

"A few months after my mom died I was talking with a good friend (both 38 at the time). I was my mom's primary caregiver; I was reflecting on how hard it was at times."

"I mentioned helping my mom with medicines and my friend said, 'I know (my name).' I began spewing what my mom and I went through and she really listened. I realized without having gone through this herself, she understood completely."

"We've been friends since 3rd grade. The type of friends that pick up where we left off."

"That last, empathetic 'I know (my name)' hit my heart something fierce. We've been so much closer since then."

- TapEnvironmental9768

Oh Nan

"My ex passed away, leaving me to raise my two kids, who both had disabilities alone. Instead of dealing with the trauma, I drank and always dumped my kids on my mum to go drink this happened for a few months before my Nanna invited me over to the house to have a chat."

"She told me I had to stop running from my pain because I had to go through to get through it (my nan lost an adult child 20 years ago). What do you know she was right I stopped avoiding everyone including the kids stopped drinking all the time and she was there for me without judgement and I honestly don't know if I'd be here if it wasn't for her."

- Foreign_Fall_8266

Evil

"I have Stage 4 Colorectal cancer and was having a large chunk of my liver removed 2 years ago. I called my son's dad to give him instructions in case anything happened, as my adult son is bipolar, and his dad doesn't give a sh*t. He said, 'I hope you die b**ch.' I'll never forget that one."

- Beginning-Adagio-516

Kermit The Frog No GIF by Muppet WikiGiphy

Wow, people can be really ruthless.

Tthankfully, there were a few inspirational moments.

No matter how deep the pain, we have to be mindful.

Although, knowing and seeing someone's true self through their nastiness is a gift.

A gift nobody wants, but a gift nonetheless.

Once you see (or hear) the things you can't unsee, it frees you to start moving on.

Use your words thoughtfully!!!

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