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Woman Sparks Drama After Supposedly Upstaging Bride With Her Choice Of Outfit During 'Virtual Wedding'

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Despite their natural happy nature, drama always manages to appear at weddings.

It's almost as if it were included on the guest list.


But especially right now with the need for social distancing, weddings that have proceeded as planned, though virtually, have involved some particularly unique and petty situations.

In one such situation, a woman who was attending a virtual-version of a wedding was accused of upstaging the bride.

Redditor "3476908" was thoroughly confused on the "Am I the A**hole?" subReddit as she explained she had worn a simple, albeit very pretty, summer-style Maxi dress.

The woman explained it was the wedding of someone she knew through her boyfriend, and of course because of the pandemic, the wedding couldn't quite go as planned.

"So one of my boyfriend's best friends, 'Samantha', was supposed to be having her wedding this weekend. Unsurprisingly, it didn't go ahead as planned; they have had to indefinitely postpone."

However, the bride and groom came up with a fun way to still celebrate that everyone was looking forward to.

"The couple announced a few weeks ago that they were going to hold a 'virtual wedding' on the same day, including a blessing by their vicar, and a party. They basically wanted to treat it like the day was still going ahead, and asked everyone to dress in what they would've worn on the day and get in a bottle of champagne/sparkling wine to toast the couple."
"We thought it was a good idea, and chose to wear the same clothes we would've worn on the day itself."

For the virtual version of the wedding, the bride wore a different dress than her planned wedding gown, and the woman attending wore a simple Maxi dress.

"During the 'party' yesterday, the bride clarified straight that she wasn't wearing her actual wedding dress (she was in a very pretty white summer dress) because it was still at the seamstress', and she can't get it back right now."
"Instead of trying to give a long description, this is the exact dress I was wearing (in the 'Kalamata Green')."

"Sleeveless Maxi Dress" - Green / Kalamata - Only.com

"No one said anything about it, and as far as we knew, everyone was having fun."

Everything had seemed to proceed as normal, until the woman and her boyfriend received a barrage of messages a few days later.

"This morning, we both woke up to streams of messages from the bride, groom, her bridesmaids and random others saying that I was clearly trying to shame the bride by dressing better than her, and that I was disinvited from the actual wedding when it actually happens because of my 'antics'."

Needless to say, they were confused at what may have happened.

"We were both shocked - if my dress was paler I might have understood some people thinking that, over a grainy webcam, it was white, but it's a dark green. There were many other people wearing suits and formal dresses, so it's not like we were sticking out either. I didn't do my hair or make up in any particular way either, and the bride definitely did hers, so there was no comparison there."
"I'm three months pregnant so wasn't drinking and therefore drunk and making a fool of myself; to be honest I barely said more than two sentences during the whole thing because there were 30 different households taking part."

At this point, they're wondering whether to worry about attending the in-person version of the wedding at all.

"My boyfriend is annoyed about the situation and has said that if she doesn't back down he'll not go to the 'real' wedding, but I don't know if or how I should apologise about this since I can't quite believe this has all gone down because I wore a dress suitable for a wedding guest."

Other Redditors began to reply to the strange story, using the sub's standard NTA (Not the A**hole) and YTA (You're the A**hole) scale. The results were overwhelmingly NTA, though the thread was filled with follow-up questions.

Many pointed out how there seemed to be some important element missing from plot, maybe an old flame or some unresolved drama.

"Unless you're leaving a lot out, NTA (Not the A**hole). That's just crazy." - moongirl12
"Agreed, that made me think that this is either fake, or we're not getting the full story. 30 households partaking in a virtual party, yet a fairly basic, completely appropriate dress drew enough attention that multiple people reached out to berate OP (Original Poster) and she was disinvited from the wedding?"
"Even if the bride has some crazy self-esteem issues, I have a hard time believing that she could rally that many people to actually contact OP just for being present in a dress." - ketopepito
"Especially since other people wore suits and dresses? The story seems like it's missing something. There's no way people legitimately think she outshined the bride in a $40 polyester dress." - twee_centen
"Weddings make people crazy my dude, and so does quarantine. It is really not uncommon for people to lash out when they are upset, and often not at whats making them upset." - off_the_cuff_mandate

The woman reported back after the messages starting pouring in, clarifying there was no prior drama she was aware of that could have brought this episode on.

"Edit: Thank you for the feedback. I have seen it being suggested that something else must have gone down, either during the party or in the past, but from my end it never has. I've replied to a couple of comments with more detail, but the short version is that there's never been any talk of attraction or flirting between anyone involved outside of their own relationship."
"[N]o one at the 'party' knows of my pregnancy (nor did I try to make it obvious - my breasts and bump haven't yet grown noticeably enough for people to ask, and I had lemonade in a champagne flute to 'cheers' with), and as far as I know, there's never been any sort of deep seated resentment."
"Everyone who contacted me has either blocked us both, or hasn't replied to me asking what the issue was. I'm sure it'll all come out one day, so we are not letting it get us down."

Clearly, the woman and her boyfriend were still confused by the situation, as were her fellow Redditors, but the couple tried to proceed on with life as normal.

But the real reason for the wedding party's reaction finally came out, which the woman came back to share, too, even if it was a little anticlimactic.

"2nd edit: We've found out what happened!! Of course, it was nothing to do with the dress."
"It turns out that Samantha already knew about the pregnancy from her parents (her parents and my boyfriend's parents live in the same village, and it appears they ignored our request to keep the news of the pregnancy a secret until we had had the first scan and knew everything was on track), and was annoyed that we hadn't told her about it."
"Right now, the only people who were meant to know were my boyfriend's [parents] and my parents and siblings. The plan was to have the scan, tell our closest friends privately (including Samantha), and then announce it a few days later. Obviously, it seems like people knew and assumed we were keeping them out of the loop."
"The source of this was my boyfriend's younger brother, who is friends with the brother of one of the bridesmaids who sent us messages. We're going to try and get in touch with Samantha and explain everything from our end."
"Sorry for the unsatisfying end that didn't involve the dress at all!"

When a person feels slighted, it's interesting where and how those feelings will manifest. Unfortunately, by focusing on a very reasonable dress as the culprit, the wedding party gave the woman and her boyfriend little opportunity to rectify the situation.

Hopefully, the woman will reach out to wedding party, explain everything, and ultimately have a good laugh over all that pettiness.