Once upon a time in the mid-2000s, a just-then-emerging Seth Rogen and an altogether-too-well-known Tom Cruise met to discuss working together on a project.
But the meeting ended with Tom Cruise trying to bring both Rogen and director Judd Apatow into the Scientology fold, according to Rogen.
He shared the story while on The Howard Stern Show to promote his new memoir, Yearbook.
According to Rogen, Cruise said "Big Pharma" was involved in a scheme to make him look crazy about Scientology, which then lead him into asking Rogen for 20 minutes so he could try to convert the Jewish man to Scientology.
"If you let me just tell you what it was really about … you would say, 'No fucking way. No. F**king. Way,'" Cruise reportedly said to Rogen.
Rogen then said he was intrigued, against his better judgment, but Judd Apatow stepped in to cut Cruise off.
"I'm generally a weak-willed, weak-minded person," Rogen said.
"If they got him, what chance do I got? Thank god Judd was like, 'Ah, I think we're good. Let's just talk about movies.' Oof, dodged that bullet."
This isn't the first collaborator Cruise has tried to turn to Scientology.
His Mission Impossible: 2 co-star Thandie Newton said Cruise sent her a pro-Scientology book and that she briefly considered poking around.
"I was curious, because it's like, 'Wow, if it's going to attract people, powerful, high-profile people, there's got to be some glue that sticks this sh*t together,'" she said.
"Didn't find any."
Let us all be thankful for the Judd Apatows in our lives.
We may have had a slow descent into a pyramid scheme without their level-headed presence.
@joehas/X