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It seems one Republican Senator accidentally improved the Washington Monument in a way he never expected to.
Tom Cotton, freshman Republican Senator from Arkansas, wrote an op-ed for the New York Times last week in which he advocated for the use of military force against U.S. Citizens.
The publication of the op-ed, which was almost universally panned, lead to the resignation of the Times opinion section editor.
Later, Cotton took to the Senate floor to decry "cancel culture," wondering whether national landmarks like the Washington Monument might have to be rebranded to reflect current cultural norms. He even suggested a new name for the monument!
Sen. Tom Cotton: "Are we going to tear the Washington Monument down? Are we going to rename it the Obelisk of Wokeness?" pic.twitter.com/gPTACs2Ep6
— The Hill (@thehill) June 11, 2020
What Cotton probably didn't expect was for everyone online to absolutely LOVE his new name for the monument.
My daughters will NEVER not know it as the Obelisk of Wokeness https://t.co/7TmIFvKMFI
— Justin “Hoops" McElroy (@JustinMcElroy) June 12, 2020
I watched this so you don't have to. All you need to know is that “THE OBELISK OF WOKENESS" (formerly Washington Monument) and “THE TEMPLE OF WISDOM" (formerly Washington National Cathedral) sound like the raddest Zelda dungeons and I'm all for it. https://t.co/CXKyu4ekA7
— Erika Ishii (@erikaishii) June 12, 2020
Fact: The Obelisk of Wokeness is the world's tallest and wokest obelisk. Originally called the Washington Monument it was renamed to celebrate the defeat of Donald Trump & his racist minions in 2020. https://t.co/kgibOPybmB
— Gary Shteyngart (@Shteyngart) June 11, 2020
The Obelisk of Wokeness will stand tall forevermore.
Those of you who had “Obelisk of Wokeness" on your bingo cards, today's your lucky day. https://t.co/UrrZjpMP65
— Felicia Sonmez (@feliciasonmez) June 11, 2020
Lightning struck the moment @SenTomCotton spoke me into existence.
I am the Obelisk of Wokeness.pic.twitter.com/A7GsdcXvMX
— Obelisk of Wokeness (@ObeliskOfWoke) June 12, 2020
The Obelisk of Wokeness. That is going to stick. https://t.co/4G5yrAxlmB
— Sheryl Gay Stolberg (@SherylNYT) June 11, 2020
Many felt that "Obelisk of Wokeness" would make a great band name.
I've kept singing Obelisk of Wokeness in my head as a chorus of a thrashing 80's metal song and it works.
— Wajahat "Social Distance Yourself" Ali (@WajahatAli) June 12, 2020
Dropping this new power metal album tomorrow. Thanks for all the support for Obelisk of Wokeness! pic.twitter.com/9kXIJDYMwW
— Scott Maxia (@fkknppl) June 12, 2020
One thing is for sure...the Washington Monument never received as many sacrifices as the Obelisk of Wokeness.
we will offer up sacrifices to the Obelisk of Wokeness https://t.co/eDT9mrsRZj
— Matt Binder worships at the Obelisk of Wokeness (@MattBinder) June 12, 2020
If you're trying to make a point you need to come up with a fake name that wouldn't be super cool. I would pay to see the Obelisk of Wokeness FOR SURE. https://t.co/MMqt8NlSzr
— Travis McElroy, The Internet's Best Friend (@travismcelroy) June 12, 2020
Many dared Congress to actually rename the monument.
The Obelisk of Wokeness is a rad name and I dare you to actually rename it that. https://t.co/7u8UbqyxyF
— Eric Goldman (@TheEricGoldman) June 12, 2020
Not gonna lie, I prefer “Obelisk of Wokeness" https://t.co/WJ7624ytT6
— Jacob Dean (@SchadenJake) June 12, 2020
And why stop there? We have countless other monuments that could be renamed.
Omg @TomCottonAR, you mean the Obelisk of Wokeness right next to Tidal Basin of No Quarter? https://t.co/Ugbn08DAMP
— Kara Swisher (@karaswisher) June 12, 2020
I love it when fascists become such a parody of a parody they accidentally veer into something totally metal like “Obelisk of Wokeness"
— Alex Duzik (@aduzik) June 12, 2020
America's Landmarks Renamed
1. Obelisk of Wokeness
2. The Hell Hole
3. Freedom Woman
4. Rebel Smasher pic.twitter.com/mG4dNFsvj1
— JRehling (@JRehling) June 12, 2020
Don't forget to visit the Obelisk of Wokeness the next time you're in Washington D.C.