People Explain Which Things They Wish They'd Never Learned

These Redditor examples are based on an occupational hazard.

Printer Expert

"How to fix a printer. Sometimes, I just play dumb when I'm asked..."

– jfincher42

Undervalued Employee

"I was the ONLY one who knew how to unjam the printer at my old job. And it was a lemon - it jammed at least once a day. I quit the job because I was overworked and unappreciated. My replacement left in less than a year. I hope they're suffering without their little resident unjammer. Thanks for letting me vent."

– KidsTheseDaysYknow

Parents are people too, and you wouldn't be here were it not for them.

So there's that.

The Origin Of You

"I know exactly where, when, and how I was made in grand detail. I have no idea why my parents felt the need to tell me this, but I now know and I wish i didn't."

– stitchmidda2

Making Waves

"I was conceived in a waterbed in my parents’ old condo. My dad told me when I was 15…"

– the_crystal_onix

Pulling Back The Curtain

"My father photographed all the births, me and my siblings."

"Each of us had a photo album growing up."

"They started with the photos of our births."

"My father took photos of us coming out.... of the vagina."

"This is the first page of my childhood photo album."

"Checkmate sir."

– joejill

Too Close For Comfort

"My parents told me they conceived my younger sibling in a tent with me and my older sibling while we were sleeping in the same tent. I did not need to know that."

– arkayer

You think you know everything about the members of your family.

However, some things about them are better left a mystery.

Grandma's Tactic

"Was on a vacation with my grandma in a shared room and she disappeared into the bathroom for 5 minutes, came out, I didn't think any of it and didn't care, and she came up to me and said."

"I have bad constipation right now so I shoved a bit of soap in my butt to help softening it up! Maybe I'll fart bubbles soon, he he!"

"That happened 6 years ago but it's burned into my brain."

– dinanysos

The Family's An Open Book

"Didn't need to know the reason I'm mums least favourite child and I certainly didn't need her to tell me what colour my step dad's pubes are. Didn't need my Grandparents to tell me that they had sex the night before on the couch I was sitting on or my grans favourite position."

"Also didn't need to know my uncle only has one testicle or that my dad was in the room when my cousin was conceived. My family is far to open lol."

– scruffadore

Infinite Capacity

"If you find an unlabeled videotape laying around burn the f'king thing just in case."

– Trav3lingman

The myth of mammals.

Scary Fish Tongue

"There is a parasitic isopod that gets inside a fish’s mouth, severs the tongue, and lives in the fish’s mouth acting as a replacement tongue."

Wikipedia page on tongue eating louse

– IFinallyDidItMom

I wish I didn't know about as Demodex or eyelash mites.

Oh, you didn't about them?

Prepare to have your mind blown.

There is a community of mites living in the pores of our faces.

Ever wondered why your face randomly itches when there's nothing visibly making contact with your face? That's because these little stubby boring worms–that are a distant relative of ticks and spiders–are having a party inside your fleshy dwelling, and they are grateful for its host to extend the welcome mat.

You're welcome.