A recent funeral-goer found themselves in a pickle when a 19 year old "in-law" arrived in a get-up that did not at all suggest mourning or bereavement.
More accurately, it suggested a picnic, or maybe a Pearl Jam show.
Redditor punchdrunksunrise posted about their experience at a family funeral. The deceased person was this Redditor's 103 year-old great grandmother.
Now, I'm no authority on funereal dynamics, but that I think when the dead person made it to over 100, the whole event takes on a new intensity, like a mythic hero finally went down.
It's like that's the body of Zeus himself right there in the casket.
Evidently, punchdrunksunrise felt similar about etiquette at this particular funeral for this particular relative.
So, when one of their 19 year old cousin's brought his—also 19 year old—girlfriend, some slight drama ensued.
The problem arose when this cousin's girlfriend—the Redditor dubs her "Raven"—arrived wearing "a pair of knee length denim shorts and an orange and white flannel button up."
That is quite the outfit to wear within a sea of pure black sadness.
The Redditor posted asking if she was in the wrong for confronting Raven.
Her reported confrontation went like this:
"My verbatim words were, 'hey, can I just tell you something? I'm not trying to make you upset, or tell you off, but your outfit isn't really appropriate for a funeral. Especially one like great grandma's, where it's very religious. In the future, you can just wear dark clothing, keep it simple, conservative.'"
I guess Raven didn't grasp the Redditor's intended subtlety.
punchdrunksunrise goes on:
"She and Joseph left shortly after and later on I got a text from him letting me know that Raven was highly offended and he wanted me to apologize."
Feel free to read the whole user anecdote.
As promised, plenty of other Redditors weighed in with their take on the whole confrontation.
"NTA. She only feels like you are because you called her out and she feels embarrassed/ashamed. I see no need to apologize, especially since it probably won't be sincere." u/frecklybitz
"you weren't rude at all, and I can't believe someone would be over the age of five and not know to not wear white and orange to a funeral." u/Jykae
"She's 19. You taught her a valuable lesson that she should have learned long ago. NTA". u/[deleted]
Some weren't quite as on topic.
"The real sin here is knee length denim shorts" u/gimmesumchikin
"Jorts to a funeral?!?! You did the kid a favor" u/virtual_biscuit
"Lol I've gone to funerals in Aloha shirts, so this is probably a super culture dependent thing on whether or not you were in the right to complain." u/TheMarshma
Here's to waiting and seeing if Raven continues to rock grunge scene garb to all the other somber occasions that come her way.
The book Modern Etiquette Made Easy: A Five-Step Method to Mastering Etiquette is available here.