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People Share The Dumbest Explanation Someone's Ever Given Them For Cheating

People Share The Dumbest Explanation Someone's Ever Given Them For Cheating
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Photo by Ilya Shishikhin on Unsplash
John Curtis
By John CurtisJun 15, 2022
John Curtis
A novelist, picture book writer and native New Yorker, John is a graduate of Syracuse University and the children's media graduate program at Centennial College. When not staring at his computer monitor, you'll most likely find John sipping tea watching British comedies, or in the kitchen, taking a stab at the technical challenge on the most recent episode of 'The Great British Baking Show'.
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Being cheated on is a horrible feeling.

And some would say that cheating on your significant other is inexcusable.

Perhaps that's why when partners come up with excuses and reasons as to why they cheated often make these situations so much worse.

But in some cases, these excuses might end up lightening the situation, owing to the sheer idiocy of these justifications.

Redditor tall_boizz was curious to hear the lamest, most ludicrous excuses people were given from their unfaithful partners, leading them to ask:

"What is the dumbest explanation you've heard from someone who cheated?"


I saw you yesterday!

"I missed you."

"I was on a short vacation."- haynb03

It's not me, it's you

"'If you had confidence in yourself, none of this would have happened'."- marques33

Well, you did

"'I didn't want to hurt you'"

"Way to go, dude."- taalnerd

It was out of grief

“'My grandmother died'.”

"I didn’t realize cheating on your girlfriend is the standard grieving method." - User Deleted

Tears Crying GIFGiphy

I'm only monogamous in the city I'm in.

“'When you said you wanted to be exclusive I thought you meant exclusive here'."

"'You never even asked if I had a boyfriend'.”

"I had been 'dating' this girl for 3 months in college when she admitted that she had been in a long distance relationship with her boyfriend from high school the entire time and she had slept with him each time she visited her parents, which was at least once a month."- dring157

Um, what?

"'You deleted your Facebook, and my friend and I thought that was fishy'."

"I don't even know where to start with that kind of rationality."- RandylVlarsh

We were just too perfect

"'We never have any fights'."

"So you decide to cheat so I can get mad at you?"- somerandomredditor18

vanessa williams GIFGiphy

Hypocrite!

“'I wanted to try something new'.”

"He cheated on me with his ex."- meeez80

Quid Pro Quo... OOPS!

"‘I thought you were doing it too!’ "

"F*ck him!"- mawo77

I had to compartmentalize

"A friend in a long-distrance relationship who only saw his GF on weekends because she was at an army posting at the other end of the country during the week."

"He found out she was cheating on him with some guy."

"Her explanation?"

"'Well, for me the army and my private life are two different lives, so it makes sense I have two different boyfriends'."

"For context, I'm from Germany, this was the German army, and 'the other end of the country' was about six hours by train, the train being free for soldiers."

fox broadcasting sleeping GIF by The OrvilleGiphy

When people need to dig up excuses as laughable as these, it's often because they are well aware they were in the wrong.

Hopefully, the unlucky partners of this unfaithful, motley crew can take solace in the fact that they are now much better off.

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