Real men only ever do REAL MAN things!
What is a REAL MAN thing anyway?
Because I've attended Super Bowl parties in gay dance clubs, and the whole game was actually watched and paid attention to, not just the halftime show. Now was there chatter and pool playing during the game?
Yes.
Did any and all activity stop when halftime started?
And did everyone participate in the song and dance routines?
HELL YES!!
What could be more manly than that?
Redditor baetangarette wanted to know about all of the "suspicious" gay things in life, so they asked:
"Straight guys of Reddit, what is the strangest thing you have been told not to do because 'that's gay?'"
Should I toss it instead?
"My dad called me gay for eating a salad at lunch one time. I was in the first grade."
- moslof_flosom
"I was out to a work lunch with my boss and his boss once. We were all friends outside of work at the time, but one called the other gay for getting a salad. These were men in their late 30s and early 40s."
- Belfette
Food Salad GIF by NickelodeonGiphy
What a Time
"If you lived through the '90s and early 2000s, every single object, action, or thought was called gay or a synonym at one point. It was a very flamboyant time."
- Ferreteria
"I remember the metrosexual hysteria. Apparently caring the slightest about your appearance as a straight man was incredibly gay."
- Scaniarix
"Yeah 'Gay' was pretty much THE universal insult for EVERYTHING among teenage boys in the 90s. Gay caused the crops to fail and the cows to give sour milk. It was pretty much 'She's a witch!' but for Mountain Dew-addled gamers."
- JoeMorgue
Never 2 Alone
"The strangest one I've heard is 'Two guys can't drive around in a convertible with the top down.'"
"Another one: 'Two guys can't sit next to each other in a movie theater if it's not crowded.'"
- instantcreampie
"I find all of these so baffling, but I find stuff like the cinema one really does expose their insecurities. I can only assume these people's minds work in such a way that they'd be worried they wouldn't be able to just watch the film and would get distracted by their mate's nearby d**k or something."
"This is something that wouldn't have crossed my mind until I started trying to comprehend people's reasons for this s**t."
- challengeaccepted9
Injury is Cool
"Any type of PPE on a blue-collar job site. People think getting intense sunburn and skin cancer or having their toes crushed is peak masculinity. These are the guys in their early 30/40's that have f**ked up their bodies and still try to encourage newbies to do the wrong thing."
- Hidinginplainsightaw
"Yeah, I worked with some guys that instead of using safety eyewear squint when they are using an angle grinder or are welding. Some insane crap."
- AxelVores
"I worked for somebody who, every time I put on my safety harness or my hard hat, said something like that's gay or you'll grow up someday. After I quit, They had an accident where somebody cut their Achilles tendon completely through. Then a ladder slipped and a guy broke both his legs and his arms at the same time he's essentially ruined for life."
- coryhill66
The flute stands alone...
"I signed up for flute in school and was the only guy. Other guys called me gay, but I think they were just jealous. This was in junior middle school, so it's not like it led to all this action, but I ended up being friends with tons of girls and learned to listen/have normal conversations with them. I ended up quitting by high school (no way was I getting up at 5 am to march in the dark while also playing an instrument), but I really think all that time sitting in a crowd of 30 women helped make me very successful in my dating life."
- RenTroutGaming
Burn Baby Burn!
"Putting on sunscreen."
- JumpyInterview83
"Nothing screams masculinity like shriveling up like a raisin."
- iamaswamptiger
"I was going to write the same thing, like yes preventing skin cancer is so gay."
- Kermitting_OOF-Side
season 3 sunscreen GIF by Bachelor in ParadiseGiphy
Palms Up
"When I was in a running club, the trainer told me to close my hands to a fist while running, because else it looked gay. I still don't understand his point. Are fists heterosexual and open hands gay? And also how does that have ANYTHING to do with running?"
- Saaihead
"Well, it actually does have to do with running because of the way it tenses muscle and can reduce blood flow but you are supposed to avoid a fist not create one. Like watching Olympic sprinters they all have flat hands. Distance runners tend to touch the tips of their fingers together."
- Traditional_Set6299
Slurp it Up!
"Eating soup. For some reason, a friend of mine thinks soup is gay, and I love soup. Of course, my highest-rated comment is about gay soup."
- rubysundance
"Because you suck it from a spoon! And spoon rhyme with soon. Soon is not right now. And you’re not having sex with men right now because you’re too busy eating gay soup! YEA, SCIENCE BI**HES!!"
- Soulless--Plague
"If soup is gay you can call me Elton John."
- Natertot1
Love that Movie!
"Me and my friends were deciding which movie we wanted to check out in the theater and decided on Brokeback Mountain because the alternative looked 'kinda gay.'"
"Mind that we knew what both movies were about and none of us at that time (or since, I hasten to add) were homophobic or intolerant, that was just the vernacular of the time. As soon as my friend said it, though, we just kinda looked at each other and burst out laughing, and I think that was the last time I remember any of us using the word as an insult."
- Morrinn3
Drinking Habits
"I had a male friend who wouldn’t drink through a straw because you 'look gay' when you use a straw."
- Imaginary_Pause24
"So, I rarely ever use straws, and people will ask me if this is why… which is always hilarious because if there are any men at the table with a straw, like clockwork they get a shocked look on their face and look down at their straw as if questioning their life and sexuality. I just always laugh as they get defensive. Truth is I love to chew ice and a straw just gets in the way, that’s it… and yes I have a problem as I know it’s not good yet I do it anyways."
- openupimwiththedawg
Hit the Road J!!
"My cousin introduced me to the computer game 'You don’t know Jack.' When I visited him again, he had uninstalled it and wouldn’t let me play it because he said it makes people gay."
- DontBeADramaLlama
"What in the actual F?!?! This sounds like an admission."
- grfbjdcjuecbyr
i don't know wtf GIF by Music ChoiceGiphy
Fancy Colors
"I'm literally tattooing on the guy and say, 'Ok, just have Magenta and Gold, then we're done,' and he... I kid you not he says 'Magenta?! What are you, queer? Just call it pink. You don't need to have fancy names for crap.'"
"Like dude, I have 10 different shares of Pink in this drawer, it's kind of my whole f*cking job to know the difference... lol.
Also, you're the one getting permanently colored pink in this spot, and you wanna call me gay for knowing the name?!
S**t cracked me up."
- Warnex9
Cheers!
"Drinking wine. In 'small town southern USA,' guys drink beer and girls drink wine. Some dude took my glass of wine and gave me a beer once at a house party."
- Swagger316
"I don’t drink anymore (7 months dry today!) but for years my husband and I both worked in the alcohol biz (I was a bartender, and he still works in wholesale wine retail) and the number of times I’ve been served his Riesling while he gets my Rittenhouse old-fashioned was certainly something."
- rocketskates666
Color Schemes
"Liking the color pink. I didn't care about this at first when I was a kid cuz I really liked the color green. Liking butterflies. Liking green to me meant liking nature as well, cuz nature has the best greens. And nature provides the most beautiful of colors. Insects and especially butterflies fascinated me. They're just cool and pretty to look at."
- destinedjagold
"I love pink clothing. Shirts, ties, socks... I always think that guys who rag on other guys for liking pink are just a bit insecure in their own sexuality."
Slow and Steady
"Running for a train or bus."
- Welsh_Redneck
"Real men teleport into the train."
- DoubleCHK
Just Do It Running GIF by RockyGiphy
Who believes these things?
If you're gay... you're gay!!
Trust me. I speaketh from experience.
Please run for the train.
In New York, if you ain't running for that train, you could be sleeping on a bench.
Drink from all of the straws. Sip slowly and enjoy it.
Enjoy your straight life by wearing pink.
Real men wear all the shades of the rainbow.
NBC News/Facebook
