Scientists Determined What Monkeys Would Sound Like If They Could Speak—And We're Not OK

A scientist on TikTok managed to freak out half the internet when she shared a computer rendering of what monkeys would sound like if they did—God forbid—have the ability to form words in human language.

Heres a hint—it's a cross between the evil ghost in a horror film and some guy who just got his hand caught in a weedwacker.

The science TikToker,—Julia Ravey Science on the platform—took a moment to explain the nuances of exactly why monkeys currently don't speak like humans.

"So our brains and monkey's brains are quite similar."

"And for the longest time researchers thought the reasons monkeys couldn't speak was because their vocal cords were not as complex as ours."

"But research in 2016 showed that actually monkeys' vocal cords can make similar sounds to all 5 vowel sounds."

"They have the capability to do that, but it's actually the connection between their brains and their vocal cords meaning they can't make these sounds."

Then Ravey hit viewers with the unnerving news.

Researchers computerized those "similar sounds to all 5 vowel sounds" and put them in the right order to have a "monkey" say "Will you marry me?"

The result was something you'll just have to hear for yourself:

Not surprisingly, TikTokers who saw the video did not like what was going on here one bit.

That's_correct/TikTok

Ry/TikTok

Laina/TikTok

alex/TikTok

rosie samra/TikTok

Username1937493739/TikTok

Others had some questions about the researchers' sentence choice.

Katie Ingham/TikTok

Dave/TikTok

Cara Rose Roberts/TikTok

While there are many possible takeaways from this scientific revelation, one is extremely clear. They need to do a shot-for-shot remake of Planet of the Apes using computerized demon ape voices for all the dialogue delivered by the apes.

While this research focused on monkeys, it now seems clear chimpanzees aren't going to sound like Roddy McDowell.

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