Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

A Satire Post Describing A Sexually Abused 12-Year-Old In Alabama Is Dark AF

A Satire Post Describing A Sexually Abused 12-Year-Old In Alabama Is Dark AF
Ian West/Getty Images, @EpsenSvendsen/Twitter

Everyone is abuzz about new abortion laws in several states, but one publication decided to tackle it with satire.

Would we expect anything less of The Onion?


A brutally dark satirical article was recently published on the well-established parody news site, The Onion. And the response has been, well, effective.

The article, posted on The Onion on May 16th, details a fictional 12 year old girl from Alabama. In the fake profile, she laments about how she is not ready to be a mother after the sexual abuse of her stepfather, stating that she wouldn't be able to handle being a parent on top of her other preteen responsibilities.

"I have several book reports and a big algebra test coming up in the next few weeks, and I had even been thinking about trying out for my school's chorus."

The girl adds:

"But giving birth and caring for an infant is going to really cut into my studying time."

The "report" goes on to discuss the girl's "intense feelings of shame and fear associated with trauma", and how that is an additional factor that interferes with school, along with the situation of having to raise the child of the person who attacked her.

It concludes with a harrowing joke about how the Alabama girl hopes that her unborn child will be friends with those of her fellow pregnant classmates.

GIPHY

Dark.

This article, of course, comes as a response to Alabama's newfound abortion ban, which makes no exceptions for rape or incest. Unfortunately, while The Onion's article was clearly a tongue-in-cheek take on the world around us, it isn't far from the truth.

The response to the article on Twitter has been overwhelming, with many finding the story incredibly unsettling.






Others have commented on how The Onion's previous notoriety for being a parody news site is gradually becoming eerily similar to our actual news headlines.


The world around us is a scary place.

However, having outlets like The Onion serve as not only a commentary of our times, but allow us some comic relief after dealing with headline after headline of terrifying news every day.

Ultimately, while The Onion toed the line with what was politically correct, it clearly got the response that it sought out.

This is one of those jokes where you just have to laugh, because you'll cry if you don't.

GIPHY

More from Trending

Teyana Taylor; Leonardo DiCaprio
Brianna Bryson/Getty Images; CBS

Teyana Taylor Hilariously Confirms She Was Who Leo DiCaprio Was Talking To In That Viral Golden Globes Clip

Now we know who Leonardo DiCaprio was queening out with at the Golden Globes: his costar Teyana Taylor.

Taylor won the Globe for Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture for her performance in PT Anderson's One Battle After Another that night, but it turns out that wasn't the only big moment of the evening for her.

Keep ReadingShow less
Rihanna; Vivian Jenna Wilson
Mike Coppola/Getty Images for The Gotham Film & Media Institute; River Callaway/Variety via Getty Images

Rihanna Enlists Elon Musk’s Estranged Daughter Vivian Wilson To Be Model For Savage X Fenty Shoot

Vivian Jenna Wilson is a young woman whose star is on the rise in the world of modeling. She made her runway debut in September during New York Fashion Week, walking in Alexis Bittar's Spring-Summer 2026 show.

The estranged daughter of problematic billionaire Elon Musk has now been asked by pop icon Rihanna to appear in her Savage x Fenty Valentine's Day lingerie campaign, titled “Love So Savage: A Modern Ode to Aphrodite."

Keep ReadingShow less
Riley Gaines; Donald Trump
Fox News; Kyle Mazza/Anadolu via Getty Images

Fox News Hosts Dragged After Fawning Over Trump's Alleged Testosterone Levels

People were creeped out by a Fox News Outnumbered segment featuring 5th place-finishing collegiate swimmer Riley Gaines on the panel. The group was discussing Secretary of Health and Human Services Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s recent claim that MAGA Republican President Donald Trump is in "incredible health."

During the January 13 episode of The Katie Miller Podcast, RFK Jr. said:

Keep ReadingShow less
Donald Trrump; Maria Corina Machado
Joe Raedle/Getty Images; Rune Hellestad/Getty Images

Trump Is Getting Epically Dragged After Showing Off Nobel Peace Prize Maria Corina Machado Gave Him

President Donald Trump is the subject of widespread mockery after showing off the Nobel Peace Prize Venezuelan opposition leader Maria Corina Machado gave him despite the Nobel Committee insisting that prizes can't be transferred.

Machado's gesture came just days after she told Fox News she wants to give him her award after he invaded Venezuela and ousted dictator Nicolás Maduro. Machado told host Sean Hannity she "certainly would love to be able to personally tell him that we believe — the Venezuelan people, because this is a prize of the Venezuelan people, certainly want to give it to him and share it with him."

Keep ReadingShow less
Person behind bars
Photo by Ye Jinghan on Unsplash

Prison Guards Describe Times They've Seen Former Inmates After They Got Released

We all make mistakes, but there are certain mistakes and bad decisions that might lead us to believe that there's no way to have a good life after making such a wrong turn.

But according to some Redditors, there can be a great life ahead, even in the chapter after jail or prison.

Keep ReadingShow less