Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

A Satire Post Describing A Sexually Abused 12-Year-Old In Alabama Is Dark AF

A Satire Post Describing A Sexually Abused 12-Year-Old In Alabama Is Dark AF
Ian West/Getty Images, @EpsenSvendsen/Twitter

Everyone is abuzz about new abortion laws in several states, but one publication decided to tackle it with satire.

Would we expect anything less of The Onion?


A brutally dark satirical article was recently published on the well-established parody news site, The Onion. And the response has been, well, effective.

The article, posted on The Onion on May 16th, details a fictional 12 year old girl from Alabama. In the fake profile, she laments about how she is not ready to be a mother after the sexual abuse of her stepfather, stating that she wouldn't be able to handle being a parent on top of her other preteen responsibilities.

"I have several book reports and a big algebra test coming up in the next few weeks, and I had even been thinking about trying out for my school's chorus."

The girl adds:

"But giving birth and caring for an infant is going to really cut into my studying time."

The "report" goes on to discuss the girl's "intense feelings of shame and fear associated with trauma", and how that is an additional factor that interferes with school, along with the situation of having to raise the child of the person who attacked her.

It concludes with a harrowing joke about how the Alabama girl hopes that her unborn child will be friends with those of her fellow pregnant classmates.

GIPHY

Dark.

This article, of course, comes as a response to Alabama's newfound abortion ban, which makes no exceptions for rape or incest. Unfortunately, while The Onion's article was clearly a tongue-in-cheek take on the world around us, it isn't far from the truth.

The response to the article on Twitter has been overwhelming, with many finding the story incredibly unsettling.






Others have commented on how The Onion's previous notoriety for being a parody news site is gradually becoming eerily similar to our actual news headlines.


The world around us is a scary place.

However, having outlets like The Onion serve as not only a commentary of our times, but allow us some comic relief after dealing with headline after headline of terrifying news every day.

Ultimately, while The Onion toed the line with what was politically correct, it clearly got the response that it sought out.

This is one of those jokes where you just have to laugh, because you'll cry if you don't.

GIPHY

More from Trending

Screenshots from @harryl1223's TikTok video
@harryl1223/TikTok

Cynthia Erivo Praised For Calmly De-Escalating Tense Confrontation With Agitated Man Outside London Theater

Cynthia Erivo continues to show just how talented she is as she recently debuted her one-woman production of Dracula in London's West End.

Earlier this week, Erivo appeared in the backstage lot to speak to fans after one of her shows. But before she stepped out, an altercation had occurred, and a man was making a scene.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshots of Nancy Mace and Tim Walz
@Acyn/X

Tim Walz Has Epic Clapback After Nancy Mace Asks Him To Define 'Woman' During Congressional Hearing

Minnesota Governor Tim Walz had a splendid response after South Carolina Republican Representative Nancy Mace attempted to claim that his support for transgender women would bar him from recognizing fraud in his state.

Walz's appearance at the hearing comes amid conservative claims—offered with little supporting evidence—that Somali-run childcare centers in Minnesota improperly received public funds intended to support childcare for low-income families. Subsequently, the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) and the FBI expanded their presence in Minnesota as federal authorities froze childcare funding statewide.

Keep ReadingShow less
Padma Lakshmi (left) reacts during an appearance on The Daily Show as Vice President JD Vance (right) stands with his wife, Second Lady Usha Vance (right).
@thedailyshow/Instagram; Antoine Gyori - Corbis/Corbis via Getty Images

Padma Lakshmi Hilariously Roasts JD Vance And His Wife Over Atrocious 'Ranch Dressing' Meal

Padma Lakshmi served up a top-tier helping of judgment for Vice President JD Vance’s questionable meal choice for his wife, Usha Vance.

The second lady, Usha Vance (née Chilukuri), is an American lawyer who made history as the first Indian American and first Hindu to hold the role. Her parents immigrated to the United States from Andhra Pradesh, India.

Keep ReadingShow less
Chloe Kim; P!nk
NBC

Olympian Chloe Kim Just Gushed To P!nk About Loving One Of Her Songs—Except It's Not A P!nk Song

Most of us have gotten our pop queens mixed up a time or two, but few of us have done so on national television—while talking to the pop queen in question.

But Olympic snowboarder Chloe Kim sure has!

Keep ReadingShow less
Elmo; Zohran Mamdani
Paul Zimmerman/WireImage/Getty Images; Selcuk Acar/Anadolu via Getty Images

Elmo Just Asked His Followers 'Where Have You Been?'—And Zohran Mamdani Had The Purest Response

Elmo, the furry red childlike monster from Sesame Street designed by Caroly Wilcox, began his life as a generic "baby monster" background filler in the 1979-1980 season of the long-running children's television program.

Originally having a gruff voice supplied by various puppeteers, Elmo found his falsetto-voiced, loving persona when Kevin Clash took over in 1985. Elmo was transformed into a three-and-a-half-year-old character designed to connect with the show's audience of preschoolers.

Keep ReadingShow less