People Share The Best Relationship Advice They've Received

Those who are in healthy relationships are the envy of those who seem to be struggling in their own relationships.

How do they do it?

While every couple takes a different approach to achieving the perfect kind of love, it doesn't just happen overnight.

Strangers online who are happy in their coupling share what worked for them after Redditor Potential_Sky_35 asked:

"What’s the best relationship tip you can give that creates healthy relationship?"

Deception

"Trust is hard to get, easy to lose, and next to impossible to ever get back."

"I’ve been sharing that with people for decades. Don’t betray your partner’s trust. Once you do, you’ll never entirely get it back."

– DieHardAmerican95

"As someone who has been betrayed and lost the trust I had in them, I 100% agree. I’m trying to trust her but I don’t think I ever really will again."

– Proof-Focus-8065

Second Chances

"As someone who has been happily married 20 years, I hear this a lot, and respectfully, I don't agree. The biggest secret to being in a relationship is communication. About everything. Including the hard stuff like finances, but also including the soft, painful center like trust and intimacy."

"The healthiest relationships are safe places. Havens where you feel valued and desired. Respected and listened to. Where your feelings are protected fiercely. However, my wife has a saying I love: I never ever want to hurt your feelings. But I will if I have to."

"She said that after I thanked her for confronting my problem with a business venture that was killing me and poisoning our relationship. It might have killed me had she not intervened. It would have definitely ended our marriage."

"Don't ever hold someone to an inhuman standard of being flawless. If you go through life writing off everyone that betrayed your trust out of some misguided sense of what you're entitled to, you're going to find yourself very lonely. Allow people the space to grow, and what you will find is that many will. Some wont, but you will know them for who they are quickly."

"This world is becoming too black and white. You're left or right. You're on my side or you aren't. You messed up so f'k off. I would much rather be so madly in love that I'm willing to fight for my marriage. Sometimes love requires breaking it. Not for everyone, but for some people, they have to see it lying in pieces on the floor before the realize what they've done."

"17 years ago my wife was one of those people. Together, through tears, we glued that marriage back together. And my god what an amazing 17 years it has been. I would do it over again 1000 times. Even if I knew there was a 50/50 chance it would go south. It's been that good. Everyone deserves a second chance."

– Fair_Explanation_196

In It For The Long-Haul

"Be prepared to learn to love the new person you'll be in a relationship with as time goes on. People change. If you want a long-lasting relationship, you have to commit to loving your partner and falling in love with the new evolution as they evolve. They should do the same for you."

"This obviously doesn't include things like 'becomes abusive' or 'starts doing meth' for the pedants of REDDIT."

– typhonist

Making A Commitment

"That's a lot harder than it sounds. Familiarity breeds contempt. You have to wake up every morning and choose to love your partner. It doesn't matter what they've done, or what you feel hurt about, or what they used to do that they don't anymore. Every morning it's a choice. When you stop making that choice, that's when things start going down hill."

"It's kinda like a garden. One day you wake up and your a little annoyed so you decide you'll choose to love them tomorrow. A little weed sprouts up. Not putting that work in was so much easier than putting the work in though so you'll get caught up and choose to love them in a few days. More weeds pop up."

"Pretty soon, you're looking at all the weeds and thinking about how much effort it's going to take to get the garden back into a good place."

"Every morning I've developed a habit of just sitting quietly and thinking about why I fell in love with my spouse, all the little things they do throughout the day to show that they love me, all the little things they do that make me love them. I try to forgive all the little (and big) things that need forgiveness, although damn this probably has to be the hardest one."

"Most of the work of building a healthy relationship is done on the inside. You just have to hope they're finding their own way to do it too."

– aint_exactly_plan_a

A Time And Place

"Praise in public, criticize in private."

"That joke you make about your partner in front of your friends may be more hurtful than you think and cause deep resentment."

– YounomsayinMawfk

"This is a good one. Also keep in mind that some people won't be honest about how much certain things bother them. It's annoying at times, but usually better to play it safe."

– OneiricBrute

In Good Company

"Never stop having fun together."

– TouristOld8415

"At least a date a week goes a long way."

"Specially if you have children or pets. Couples need times for themselves too or they will start growing distant."

– BrocoLee

"I think it's so important to do new experiences together. Whether that's semi-regular dates at new restaurants, taking a class together, or going on little trips - learning and experiencing new things together while having fun is one of the best ways to bond."

– stray-witch7

Having The Tough Conversations

"The best advice is to communicate openly and honestly. Talk about your feelings, listen to your partner, respect their boundaries and support each other. A healthy relationship is built on trust, understanding and joint efforts."

– Prestigious_Wait_251

"We hear often that communication is key to a healthy relationship, but few times do we hear what that actually means or how to implement it."

"Communication skills can be broken into two parts: vocalizing and listening."

"To be good at vocalizing you need to be able to organize your thoughts, feelings, and needs into words that can easily be understood, without fear or judgement or criticism. You need to be able to trust that your partner will listen to your words and respect your needs, not marginalize your needs or dismiss your feelings."

"It is okay to have a conversation about your needs or for your partner to request elaboration, and it's normal for some of your feelings to be somewhat irrational and for you to realize 'hey, this is on me and I need to work on this.' The important thing here is that your partner recognizes your feelings and understands that they are valid; you can have a conversation about whether they are rational and work that out together."

"To be a good listener you need to connect with your partner and make them feel safe so they can be vulnerable to vocalize their thoughts, feelings, and needs. Even if you believe their thoughts are irrational, you need to LISTEN to them and understand that the two of you are working together to determine if their feelings are rational. The first step to realizing that one's thoughts are irrational is being able to vocalize and organize them, so work to make them feel safe enough to do that."

"Failure to communicate in a relationship can and does lead to feelings of resentment, which can and will build up until it spills over into constant fighting, with neither side being able to express and resolve their feelings and grievances in the relationship. The relationship usually fails shortly after this point."

– Not_The_Real_Odin

Managing Expectations

"Few things:"

"Accept your partner as they are, and don't get stuck on aspirational bits of what your partner could be. I had a massive problem with getting caught on what I could be missing out on, or aspects my partner fell short on. It's pretty poisonous to a relationship to have that comparison in mind so much, and people not being able to offer everything you want is normal and okay."

"Don't take everything personally or mindread intentions. You will get your feelings hurt, or make them out to be much more inconsiderate or unkind than they really are, and you both lose for that happening."

"Be more okay for asking for things or talking about things. A lot of the time, we hope (or expect) our partner to just, know we want/need x without having to mention it. Or, we feel they should know by now how to do something for us, or that we would be hurt by x, or so on."

"A huge thing to learn is how to gracefully ask for what you need from them instead of placing expectations on them that they aren't aware of or understand to the extent you feel they should just be at already--or forgive perceived slights when they just genuinely didn't have the same perception of what they were doing than you did."

– SFyr

No one said relationships are easy. The healthy ones take work, which includes having tough conversations, listening, and being kind despite issues that will arise.

If you don't generally enjoy being together and are unable to laugh from time to time over the small stuff, then you won't be able to face tougher challenges ahead as a couple.

Put in the work if you want everlasting love, and most of all, be kind to each other.