HR Employees Break Down The Most NSFW Reasons They've Terminated Someone

Bad behavior at work never makes sense.

But it seems to be inevitable for many, many people.

Don't have sex at work.

Don't do drugs at work.

Try not to steal.

Try not to kill.

It's an easy list to follow, you'd think... but not everyone can comply.

Redditor Admirable-Fig277 wanted to hear all of the most scandalous ways people have been fired, so they asked:

"Human Resources people of Reddit, what are some NSFW/WTF reasons an employee has been disciplined and/or terminated for?"

Throw Down

"I've had to fire a Line Lead (Manufacturing) because she was sleeping with the 1st and 2nd shift production leaders. They wanted to fight for her in the middle of the plant when they finally figured it out, and she was egging them on."

- TheDadThatGrills

Cardi B Applause GIF by Recording Academy / GRAMMYsGiphy

ZONING

"A man came in to complain to the zoning manager that one of our employees had been sleeping with his wife. The ZM said he was sorry it was happening but didn't know why the man brought it to his attention. The man informed him that the two were only doing it while they were at work."

"Now, the employee worked in animal control and requested that he be assigned weekend work. The complainant's wife would get all dolled up like she was going shopping, then go to animal control and bang the dude in between him putting down animals."

"The employee was smart enough to be arranging these rendezvouses on his work computer, and I was assigned the investigation. I got to review his emails and learned all sorts of things, like that his unit was smaller than her husband's, but she still liked it. They also frequently boned on a swivel chair at the office."

"The employee was fired, but, being a public employer, the chair remained with the city."

- bbenji69996

Company Property

"The manager was caught having sex with another manager's wife in the car. On company property. While the husband was working."

- HighThaiGuy

"I install security systems including cameras. The gas station owner was convinced someone working the till had sticky fingers. Had me install a hidden camera over the cash area after hours. A boss man watches the recorded video. Sees his mechanic behind the counter where he does not belong. Then, the boss man's wife joins him back there."

"They look around, she drops down out of view of the windows, but not the camera, while he stands there trying to look normal in case someone comes in. Boss man sells the station without telling his wife. Jumps on a plane for Mexico, never to return. Na na na na, na na na na, hey, hey GOODBYE."

- wardog1066

Ranking

"A guy got fired because IT found he was using his work laptop to arrange sex workers while traveling for work. Afterward, they discovered he was keeping a spreadsheet with scores and ranks and which female employee they most looked like."

- Rant_21

Shocked Snl GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy

No Surprises

"Lawyer here. I am no longer surprised by how many people use their work emails to purchase drugs and plan their meth-fueled orgies."

- cat_dog2000

"I sat next to in-house counsel at my first job (my job is unrelated to law). The advice he gave that has stuck with me was to imagine the scene when that thing you're typing, messaging, texting, or emailing is on a huge screen in a courtroom. Sitting around you are your family, 12 jurors, multiple lawyers, local TV reporters, your boss, etc. It's impossible to delete anything, they will find it."

- shartscaping

Busted

"We busted someone having sex in their car with their side piece and didn't answer the radio when we called them. Just fired two people for stealing 60K worth of copper lines of the lineman truck."

- Due_Investigator_746

The Stairwell

"I was talking to our head of training years ago. I asked him that question."

"He said once he got a call from the hotel manager where we were holding a training session. The manager had him come into his office. The manager asked 'Are you aware we have security cameras in the stairwells?' He then proceeded to show a video of employees having sex in the stairwell. The training head then paused and said, 'So those three got fired.'”

- RoboMikeIdaho

Isolation

"Back when I was a warehouse manager, I caught two employees having sex in an isolated high bay storage aisle. I immediately proceeded to not give a s**t and went on about my day. Another time I caught a member of upper management pilfering product in the same area. Again, I immediately proceeded to not give a sh*t and later that week I got promoted."

- LiquidSoCrates

Psycho

"We had a coworker who got fired because he actually did the blowtorch on a doorknob prank. He got it super hot and called another coworker to come into the room. Aside from completely burning a dude's hand, the doorknob also had some layer of protective plastic on it that melted into his skin. Really messed up his hand for a long time."

- Bmc00

FIRED

"At one of my jobs at a big pharmaceutical company, the janitorial staff were trained to report anything of a suspicious nature as a matter of maintaining a safe work environment. They did exactly as they were trained to do when they reported two empty bottles of vodka hastily covered with what looked like unused paper towels in the women’s bathroom trash. Later that week we figured out who it was when she overshot the parking lot and parked her BMW in the planter outside the site manager’s office."

- DNAgent007

Challenges

"Recruiter here. I guy came in saying it was time for a fresh challenge, not fully utilized in his present role by employees who lacked his ambition and vision, etc, etc. Turned out he’d just been fired after going out, getting pissed, and returning to the office to watch porn where the cleaners found him in the morning at his desk with his manhood in his hand after falling asleep. - Platypupduck

Humans have lost all self-control.

I give up on people.

Sex in stairwells.

Nobody has any decorum.

Just go to work and do the job.