People Divulge The Most Professional Ways To Say 'Figure It The F*ck Out'

Throughout my working life, I've served officially and unofficially as a trainer and instruction manual author.

As an autistic person, I'm all about continuity and efficiency. So if there was an SOP—standard operating procedure—needed, I was happy to take on the task.

With that personality type—read autistic compulsion—comes the role of being the office Google search and I never turned anyone with a legitimate question away.

However, when you've done thorough training classes, hands-on assistance and provided step-by-step job manuals, but the same person comes with the same question over and over?

At some point it's either laziness or incompetence and it's time to cut them off. The question is how to do it in a professional setting.

Reddit user dutch480 asked:

"What is the professional way to say 'figure it the f**k out'?"

Not My Circus...

"'I’ll leave you in charge of solving that'."

~ Disastrous_Total_503

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...Not My Monkeys

"A similar one I like is 'I'll leave it in your capable hands'."

~ Maezel

Trust &...

"I prefer 'I trust you can resolve this' or similar."

"The words 'I’ll leave you' convey you’re ditching that person to do it while 'I trust' conveys inherent faith in their abilities."

~ pcakes13

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...Believe

"How bout, 'I trust your judgment in these matters'."

~ InertiasCreep

Count On It

"'I'm counting on your skills to lead you to the correct solution' is one I've personally heard before and it sounds a lot like 'figure it the eff out'."

~ sumthingsumthingblah

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A You Problem...

"Additionally, 'let me know the outcome'."

~ reflythis

...Not A Me Problem

"'Please resolve this using your best judgment'."

~ unwarrend

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Job Requirements

"I work at a research laboratory. I gave a relatively simple task to a colleague."

"They couldn’t figure it out and kept coming to me for help."

"I finally said 'You have a PhD. You’re supposed to be able to solve difficult problems. Figure it out'."

"They no longer works on my projects."

~ EaterOfFood

Cheer Squad

"I loved Rosamund Pike's character in Saltburn telling Carey Mulligan's character 'I have total faith in you!'."

"The best, most passive agressive 'figure it the fuck out' given."

~ helenhellerhell

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If Only There Was Written Guidance

"'Check the literature'—biotech."

"Basically translates to: 'I don’t f*ckin know, and now it’s your job to figure it the f*ck out'."

~ Excellent_Routine589

"'While solving this problem please refer to the local regulations' is my ultimate weapon."

~ Nerdcoreh

Outside The Scope

"'Please reference the guides and documentation on our support site for our various API's'."

"It's not uncommon we get large companies who should know what they're doing."

"Once I had to be more blunt with one person."

"I think it was: 'We are able to help you with access or errors from the API. We will not be helping you stand up a database and server using your company's equipment. (Yes. That was the request.) That is outside our scope of support. If you are having difficulty understanding standardized documentation of Web API and OData standards found here and here, even after reading our step-by-step guides, please follow your internal support escalation method'."

~ jabba-du-hutt

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Good Luck

"'I trust a solution will be found'."

~ Mobile_Prune_3207

Did You Try?

"My supervisor who is usually very generous with her time will say 'I'm going to refer you back to the regulations'."

~ Youve_been_Loganated

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Not My Problem

"'This problem falls within your scope'.”

~ the_chandler

Decisions, Decisions

"'Let me know what you decide'."

~ sabrtoothlion

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Career Change

"I was foreman for awhile and would sometimes have to say, 'If you can't figure this out, I don't know how to help you. This may not be the right place for you, bud'."

~ _b1llygo4t_

Whose Asking

"I'm a foreman now. Work in a diesel shop for reference."

"Usually I tell someone it's 'above my pay grade' if it's upper management because they can f*ck right off trying to make their problems mine."

"Or the classic 'it's not all daisies and rainbows, sometimes you get paid to figure out problems' when I've exhausted all my options for helping out one of my techs on the floor."

~ warchata

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Testing 1, 2, 3...

"'I think this will be a great test of your personal troubleshooting skills'."

~ Sparky81

"I’ve totally used this before on one of my direct reports and yes, I did indeed mean 'figure it the f*ck out'."

~ ihatereddit1221

A Workplace Odyssey

"'I'm sorry Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.'—in HAL 9000's voice."

~ imapassenger1

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RTFM!!!

"'Did you read the [f*cking] manual (RTFM)'."

"As someone who has written the manual, it infuriates me that no one reads it."

"I just ask for clarification suggestions so I can update the manual, which makes them admit they haven't RTFM."

~ Trjredjoker

I used a similar tactic of asking them what part of the manual they were looking at for the answer.

Invariably, they never cracked open the manual because it was "faster" to ask me. It wasn't, actually. It was a waste of my time, our office's time and even theirs in the long run.

How do you turn away repeat questions in the office?