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Body-Positive Blogger Dubbed 'Plus-Size Ken' Aims To Help Men Accept Their Bodies As They Are ❤️

Stevie and Sam on holiday (PA Real Life/Collect)

An Instagram blogger who proudly shows off his belly rolls and 'man boobs,' as he yo-yos between a size medium and an XXL, has declared he is on a mission to make plus-size men more body positive.


Financial advisor Stevie Grice-Hart, 26, from Southampton in England who is known as 'Bopo.Boy' online, hopes that his “warts and all" pictures on social media will make people aware that body hang-ups are not just a female thing.

With the support of his store manager husband, Sam, 29, he has found the courage to share how his toxic relationship with food and body image led him down a dark path, saying: “I've grown up always being a larger kid and feeling like no one else looked like me."


Stevie taking a selfie at home (PA Real Life/Collect)


He continued: “I looked for validation on TV and tried to find people who represented me, but there was no one, which made me feel even worse. All I saw was ripped men and, after that, I spent the majority of my life dieting and exercising.

“After years and years, I did lose a lot of weight between the ages of 22 and 24. I forced myself to go the gym every day – obsessed that if I didn't, I'd become obese overnight. I had three meal replacement shakes instead of actual meals, even ordering and gorging on weight loss tablets.

“I thought by doing that, I'd be popular and successful, but neither of those things happened. I just went from 18 and a half stone (259lbs) to 10 stone (140lbs) and was left with excess skin and stretch marks."


Stevie enjoying ice cream guilt-free (PA Real Life/Collect)


Always keen to find new ways to improve his look, Stevie took to Instagram for inspiration but, instead of finding fitness accounts, he stumbled across a plus-size model who changed the way he saw himself altogether.

He said: “By chance, I found a girl who was about a size 16. She was in a bikini and had belly rolls and a huge smile.

“I realized I should be like her and start living my life. I decided to do the same and post a video of myself in my underwear discussing men's body image, although it was scary since it's something that no one really does. It was really liberating."


Stevie with his husband Sam (PA Real Life/Collect)


Since making his body-positive films, Stevie has attracted plenty of attention from other Instagram users who agree that men's body dysmorphia – a mental health condition, where someone obsesses about flaws in their appearance – needs to be taken more seriously.

He has also been delighted by the variety of men he has inspired – ranging from gay males like himself to happily married heterosexual dads.

He said: “I like to think that I'm helping to start something new for men and their body confidence. It's usually hidden for us. I want to create a space for men to talk openly about it."


What Body Positivity Means To Me | Stevie Blaine www.youtube.com


He added: “The most humbling thing from my page has been hearing young boys just aged 11 and grown men in their 60s say I helped them to improve their body confidence.

“Even super masculine, bearded, tattooed men who look like truck drivers thanked me for what I do!"

While he has received positive feedback for his bold posts, Stevie has also attracted vicious comments from people who disagree with his message.


Stevie making a statement on Instagram (PA Real Life/Collect)


He explained: “Some people say I should change the way I look and stop being lazy, but they are clearly so deep in diet culture that they think what they're saying is right.

“I did the same when I hated myself too – I would comment on how other people looked to make myself feel better, just to deflect the pain onto someone else.

"I do remove the negative comments, but some stay with me, such as someone who said 'if I had a body like that I'd kill myself.'"


Stevie showing his support for homosexual couples (PA Real Life/Collect)


Currently in the process of adopting a child with Sam, Stevie has also vowed to make sure that their child – whatever gender – will not be worried about body image.

He said: “If we have a boy, I want him to see that men and being a man comes in all different forms.

“I would give my child the freedom and space to be whoever they want and I'd like to hope that when I feel crap about my body, I don't project that onto my son."


Stevie taking a selfie at home (PA Real Life/Collect)


He added: “No matter what gender we have, boy or girl or trans – whoever they identify as – I would embrace them for all that they are and let them do what they want within reason and safety."

While Stevie believes social media has been a useful tool to promote the body positive message, he feels reality TV is woefully inadequate when it comes to showing diversity in body shape and size.

“Reality TV is horrendous, everyone on it looks exactly the same, and all it does is reinforce the idea that if you don't have abs there is something 'wrong' with your body," he said.


Stevie after recovering from restrictive eating (PA Real Life/Collect)


“The problem with modern TV is that it doesn't represent how people really look. Young boys are exposed to this even more than I was in the 90s – it's worrying," he continued.

“For the men who are struggling, I would recommend following people who actually look different – stay away from the Hollywood actors who have airbrushed and edited photos.

“That's why I don't edit my photos – I don't want to contribute to that side of social media."


Stevie showing his back rolls (PA Real Life/Collect)


Stevie hopes that in the future men will find the support and visibility they deserve for their body issues in the same way women do.

He added: “As a society, things are changing. We have plus-size Barbie – now it's time for a plus-size Ken!"

A version of this article originally appeared on Press Association.

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When you know your kids backwards and forwards, this is the best tool in your arsenal.

Getting our kids to listen to us is not always the easiest of tasks. They're willful and stubborn, but we've got a mighty weapon they are rarely prepared for: reverse psychology. Getting them to convince themselves to want to do something against their own initial intentions takes some work and a whole lot of creativity, but a little sneaky manipulation goes a long way. Here are some clever parents' tricks that are definitely worth taking notes on.

Redditor u/LeanderD Asks:

Parents of reddit, what's your best example of reversed psychology on your kids that actually worked?

He Floated His Idea Through A Back Channel

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Wanted to name my boat. Anything I would think of was dismissed as stupid by my 13 year old son. After deciding on a name, I confided to a male friend my son liked. Made my friend suggest the name as though it was his idea. My son thought the name was perfect. Done.

calypsodweller

We Always Want What We Can't Have

One of my best friends through childhood used to be punished with no salad if she misbehaved. She cherishes salad now and would always try to eat as much as possible during school lunch. Coincidentally, her now husband used to be punished with no books, it had the same effect. I think it's hilarious that they'd be hitting the salad bar and library like some black market their narc parents couldn't reach hahaha.

cookiearthquake

A Deceit That's A Cut Above The Rest

Giphy

Don't know if this counts, but, at my high school (private, boys only) in the 1960's, they made a big deal about how long your hair was, and would occasionally order a boy to go home and "get a haircut".

I thought it was stupid, until years later, a master confided to me at a reunion that the policy was deliberate. The school figured we'd spend so much energy rebelling about hair length, that we would ignore other aspects of teenage rebellion. (Not?) Surprisingly, they were mostly right.

FrankDrakman

Damn! That's smart. Wow.

fangxx456

Oh they don't like long hair?

I'll show them. I'll grow my hair out as lon- what?! No I don't want to go "party"? I gotta try out this horse shampoo.

DankeyKang11

The Forbidden Book

Hi I was a victim,

There was a forbidden book that I was not allow to read on the shelf. My parents said I could only read it if I behave myself.

It was summer holidays and I was playing games all day (after 6 hrs of summer homework). One day I was home alone and had the opportunity to grabbed it. I read like half of it in one go. It was 5000 years of Chinese history.

Safe to say I was bamboozled.

oddstodd

Flowers Of The Queen

My parents always told me my broccoli were the flowers of the queen and that I really shouldn't eat them, or else the queen would get very upset! I, of course, ate the whole broccoli in a few seconds.

Subwoofy

I'm telling the queen and she's gonna be pissed

draculacletus

Sleeping Beauty

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I taught my kids when they were toddlers that no amount of yelling, shaking or hitting can wake a sleeping adult. The only thing that works is a gentle hug and/or a nice kiss on the cheek.

Edit: Probably needed some more details for the reverse psychology aspect to be clear. It went something like this - Step one, tell the kids I'm going to sleep and nothing they do will wake me (head buried face down is the safest position). Step two, after the initial onslaught dies down pretend to awaken on your own. Tell them you got a bit of nap left in you and nothing can wake you, especially not hugs and kisses.

DrMethusael

Holy sh*t...if my daughter woke me up like this I would buy her a pony.

All-Seeing_Elon

I am saving this comment because this will save lives if I ever have kids, stg.

smerter

A Walk In Someone Else's Shoes.

Split custody with my ex. When my son was around 10, he visited two weekends a month. I was waiting tables and didn't have a huge amount to spend, but he was so needy from divorce (and I'm not blaming him, it was ugly), he begged constantly for MORE when he was with me. Whatever more was, it didn't matter... he'd be eating ice cream cone and begging for teriyaki.

I finally realized that he just felt empty, and getting MORE whatever from me wasn't filling him up. His next visit I handed him $100 in cash and told him it was our food/fun budget for 3 days and two nights, and he was in charge of it. I bought him his own wallet to carry. We figured out how many times we were going to eat and what we were going to do, and he paid. He got to keep whatever money he had left...thought he was rich...then realized just how much everything cost. Well. Shoe on other foot then. If we had no money for food, we ate leftovers - and I didn't contribute more to pot. After a few weekends of running short or not getting something he actually wanted because he was foolish with funds, he started to really think about how to spend that money. He budgeted and kept to his budget. And a few times he actually went home with a little cash for his private stash.

Many years later, he thanked me for this. It really changed the way he thought about money and love.

Augumenti

This Is Worth Giving A Shot

Took my 3 year old son to one of those doctor's visits where he was going to get a shot. He was worried about the shot on the whole drive over, almost to the point of tears. We get to the doctor's office and a nurse subtly lets me know that my son is not just scheduled for 1 shot, but 5 of them in the same visit.

I turn to my son with an exaggerated smile and tell him, "Good news! They figured out how to take that one big shot you were going to get and instead break it up into these 5 little tiny shots so it won't hurt nearly as much!"

You could see the relief wash over his face. He stopped squirming and relaxed completely. He took the first shot and even smiled and said "It's true! The small ones don't hurt!"

We actually made it through the third shot before the effect wore off and reality kicked in. Still... I counted it as a victory.

blackbird77

Put This To The Taste

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My mom would tell me she only lets me eat soup after candy and she'd only buy me candy that i didn't like. After a few times, i stopped trying and begged her to let me eat soup first. She gave me a smirk and told me go ahead. This doesn't sound as evil as it was. But trust me i suffered.

turkeypr0

So what was the candy?

Poster_Main

Mint chocolate, raisins, stuff like that. I still hate them to this day. Who the f--- thought while eating chocolate "hmm id like some tooth paste with this."

turkeypr0

This is Truckin' Awesome

Mum had sworn a bit around the house.

When 4, while out at the supermarket, I said F word really loudly.

Very quickly and intently, she asked if I had just said "Truck" and said that was a bad word and not to ever say Truck like that again.

I thought that was the bad word so used that when being naughty.

GodOfTheThunder

The "Silly Mom" Routine

The "Silly Mom" routine.

My kid, and a few other kids I've known, would balk at getting ready to go. I'd grab their clothes and say, "Well, if you won't put on your clothes, I guess I'll put on your clothes. Cute shirt, by the way! Does it go on my foot?"

NO!

"Does it go on my head?"

NO! IT GOES ON ME!

"Oh, that's right, thanks! So, it must go on your legs, right?"

NO!

"I just can't figure this out! Where does this adorable shirt go?"

[kid grabs shirt and puts it on] ON MY TUMMY! SILLY MOM!

"Oh, thank you so much! Now what about these pants? Shirts go on tummies, so...the pants go on the tummy, too, right?"

NO!

[continue until kids have dressed themselves]

I would also do things like hand the kid my keys and say, "Alright, you're driving, I'll sit in the booster seat in back," attempt to feed the kid by putting a spoon up to his ear or his belly button, and attempt to put away his toys in the refrigerator.

insertcaffeine

Some Foot For Thought.

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My mum would always yell at us "if you don't do X, you have to go to bed without socks!"

I never wore socks anyway, and I'm ashamed to admit that this worked.

Splittsky

That would work really well on my son, or make him cry for a really long time... He's 3 and over the last few weeks has decided that he is fully unable to sleep without socks on.

PJQueen

Toddlers man. Completely unpredictable.

SheaRVA

I'm Greens With Envy

My mum had a friend that would put vegetables on her own plate and not the kids.

When the kids asked she would be reluctant to share, "that's grown up food. But I suppose I can let you have a little."

Her kids grew up loving vegetables.

I sat at the dinner table for 3 hours staring at the yucky cauliflower I refused to eat.

laik72

This reminds me of an instance when my child convinced my wife and myself to change our plans for dinner. We were in a grocery store to pick up something quick and easy to eat that we wouldn't have to prepare. Our daughter, wanted none of that, she demanded that she wanted a salad from the salad bar. We started to argue back, but then realized: "Our child demands that we feed her vegetables for dinner instead of a microwaved meal, why are we saying 'No?'"

We had salad for dinner that night.

Galaxy_Ranger_Bob

The Power Of Choice

I don't so much know if you would call it reverse psychology, but I didn't realize it until my dad told me this.

When there were chores that needed doing, he noticed if he asked me to mow the lawn, I would complain and procrastinate. But if he asked would I rather mow the lawn or wash the windows, I'd pick one and just get it done.

Shattered my brain when he told me when I was in my twenties. I use it when I'm coaching or baby sitting all the time and it almost never fails.

AppealToReason16

The Boy Who Cried 'Ouch'

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I've done this one with tens of kids. Any time a kid gets "hurt" (falls down on grass, gets gently hit in the face with a ball, etc.) instead of stopping the activity to pick the kid up and see if they're ok you just scoot them off to the side and resume. Within 10 seconds of not getting all the attention and seeing the fun is resuming they pop right back up and are magically healed.

This of course is only for the "injuries" that aren't actually injuries.

pedanticProgramer

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