You could say Home Own Associations are sometimes run like the mob. Pay their fees and they'll take care of you, right? You can never tell how they're going to be operated. Maybe it'll be the friendly kind of mafia. That's can happen sometimes, right? Most often, and the HOA can go either way, they'll extort you and boss you around and make living where you live a nightmare.
Reddit user, [usernameremoved], wanted to hear the worst of the worst when they asked:
Spring Brings ChangesGiphy
They sent us a series of nasty notices to remove the dead tree in our front yard. The tree had lost all of its leaves and it was unsightly, apparently.
The catch is that they sent us this notice in November. You know, like, FALL. When perfectly healthy trees lose their leaves.
We pretended we didn't understand which tree they were talking about until spring, when the tree magically came back to life.
We're Short On Water
Fined multiple times and threatened with a lien by the HOA because we would not water our grass during a major, major drought season.
It was cheaper and easier to fight the HOA since the City AND State passed regulations banning constant watering and green grass. The City had Google like vans with cameras that'd be driving neighborhoods to catch violators and fine them.
Case Of Mistaken Identity
When we were privately renting in a town home community the dumpster had video surveillance so that the HOA could fine anyone breaking the rules as far as what we were allowed to dump. One day both myself and SO get a b!tchy call from our property manager alerting us that HOA has fined us $250 for illegal dumping, the property owner will have to pay it and we will have to reimburse him.
After racking our brains about what we could have possibly thrown out that wasn't allowed, we decided to call up the HOA to see if we could see the video. They would either transfer us to someone else that would hang up, or their hours would change to where no one would answer the phone, or they'd promise to get the video to us the next day, etc. This went on for about 2 weeks.
Finally my SO got to see the video while I was at work. I texted him to find out what was on it and he said the video was of a middle aged asian lady throwing out a bunch of furniture. It was the stupid property owner's freaking wife.
That's Literally The Day
Everyone in our neighborhood received fines for leaving garbage cans at the road.
It was trash day.
Wrong Time Of YearGiphy
My HOA decided that my trim needed to be painted RIGHT NOW. Threatened a $100 a month fine if it wasn't. The trouble is that it was January, and I live near Chicago.
As I was buying the paint, the salesperson keeps telling me that the paint won't dry, it will just freeze, and fall off within 6 months. I was selling in the spring anyway, so I didn't care. Painted the trim in a temperature of 7 degrees F.
Wounds That Never Heal
I think I've posted this before, but I'm still fuming over it years later so here goes. I went away for a long weekend and left after work on Thursday. Late Friday afternoon, my water heater burst (in the attic of a three story home) and flooded my entire townhouse. When my neighbor got home from work he saw gallons of water running from underneath my garage door. When he realized I wasn't home, he tried to find my phone number and when he couldn't, he called the HOA to notify me.
The lady that answered said that since it was "after business hours (it was 5:01 at this point), the matter would have to wait until Monday." My wonderful neighbor ended up calling the non-emergent police line and they came and shut my water off from the street. When I got home Sunday morning, my entire house was damaged and I could see my attic from my basement. After a massive panic attack and a frantic call to my insurance company, we started the process of repairs.
The cherry on top was that I needed to have a dumpster placed in my driveway and a moving pod to remove what was left of my furniture while they began drying out the house and I got a visit from the HOA. They didn't like how "unsightly" my home had become and wanted these items removed from my driveway.
I essentially told them that they could take their complaints and go f-ck themselves with them. I got a little revenge too because I stopped paying their stupid fee since they couldn't fine me before six months and I was moving in less than five months. I'll never own another home with a HOA ever again. F-ckers.
Pro Equipment For Amateur Hour
Not mine but one of my good friends has a rather insane HOA. They actually used rented surveying equipment to determine that his clothesline was 1 inch taller than his fence and fined him several hundred dollars for some stupid "structure beyond the fence" rule they had.
Same HOA has someone walking around actually measuring the length of grass with a ruler and issuing warnings for mowing.
JUST. LISTEN. TO. SCIENCE.
"Only plant oak trees" even after multiple arborists & botanists informed the board that doing so would give all of them various diseases and all would need to be cut down.
10 years later? All have been cut down because they have diseases and mites.
Quiet Hours From 12-12
When my brother first moved into his condo, quiet hours were 10pm - 6am Sunday-Thursday, never really enforced. A couple years later two board members sold, two new came onboard. One being a 60 y/o man. Quiet hours are now 8pm-6am Sunday-Thursday, 10-6 Friday-Saturday. The 60 y/o guy will knock on your door if he thinks you are too loud. It's a very young metro neighborhood, loft complex.
The old guy came to his door to complain a couple weeks ago bc he thought the pizza delivery guy was too loud.
But That's The Opposite Of What You Told Us!Giphy
HOA said there was a surplus of funds and sends out a survey to find out what people want the money spent on- swimming pool, basketball court, etc.
A few months later we get a notice that they're raising the dues because they need more money to afford all the new amenities we requested. The entire board was voted out the following year.