Our self-esteem is the key to our drive. It's how we present ourselves and the level of comfort with how we behave in certain social situations. It's not easy to repair if anything cracks it. Unfortunately, what can happen is our self-esteem can be shattered when we're young or by someone we trusted, and that's when the break stays for a long time.
Reddit user, u/RIPTOR147, wanted to hear how you were hurt with words forever when they asked:
What insult was so cruel that it permanently damaged your self-esteem?
Can We All Just Agree Middle School Is The Worst?
7th grade. Girl I had a crush on was giggling and doing a weird walk for her friend who were all laughing as I walked into the classroom. Asked what they were doing and without any hesitation she said "Thats how you walk. I am doing your walk. Its hilarious. All straight up and stiff like that." She then did the walk again, and everyone laughed....again. I am now 40, still self conscious about the way I walk too.
Social Media Can Be The Absolute Worst Sometimes
I had posted a picture on social media when I was a teen (think myspace era but it wasn't on myspace), it took me a fair bit of courage to do it. The one and only comment I got was 'eww'. Deleted it the moment I saw it and my self esteem was never strong to begun with so bam.. there it went. Better now.
I've gotten worse insults but they bounced off me. This one stuck longer and struck deeper because it was something I was already anxious about. Thankfully, I've grown past it mostly.
Being Called Weird For Something Normal
I was made fun of for making weird faces while laughing, etc. but I didn't think about how everyone makes weird faces. So I am really inexpressive with my emotions now
Crushed
When I was a kid I loved to write and tell stories and because of that, I wanted to be a sci-fi writer. The problem is I am dyslexic and when I told my teacher that I wanted to be a writer when I grow up. She just laughs and told me you have to be smart to become a writer.
After that, I stopped reading and gave up my dream.
When Your Mother Is Against You
Not just one insult, multiple, all coming from my mother when she thought I couldn't hear her. Or when she's directly in front of me. She also makes little comments about my weight that, although she doesn't think it hurts, it really does.
Or the fact that she's against a majority of the LGBTQ+ community (specifically trans people) and I'm a trans nonbinary person :')
Kids Are The Worst
In eighth grade a girl would move her seat away from me everyday because I was "too gross to sit next to". I didn't even have hygiene problems, I showered every day; it was simply her way of showing how much contempt and disgust she had for me as a person. Even though it's been years I still can't help but still feel ugly and weird because of how she and others treated me that year
Might Be Time To Get Better Parents
My parents came in and just started fat shaming me out of the blue.
I'm over 6' and have never broken 200 lbs in my life. I've been ashamed of my body ever since.
This Kind Of Language Makes You Think You Deserve This
"No wonder your last boss bullied you"
My girlfriend at the time, knowing full well I was off for 5 months with depression after leaving my previous job.
Hard To Argue With Something On Your Face
It's so silly, but 15 years ago a classmate told me I have a huge nose and I've been self-conscious about it ever since.
Same. I always got told I had a big nose as a teen and was incredibly self conscious. My mum once said 'don't worry your face will grow in to it' which confirmed it for me. Anyway I literally never wore my hair up to hide it. Weirdly my husband and kids have never understood why I think I have a big nose and say I don't. As do some friends now. So I've been paranoid for about 30 years for probably nothing!
Get Told It Enough, You Start To Believe It
I got called ugly a lot as a kid. So I've always been blown away when somebody is actually attracted to me.
Me too, up until I got big boobs. Now I am innately suspicious of guys showing interest in me
I'm a dude so it just never changed. I don't think I'm ugly anymore but I'll always feel that way.
Why Even Make That Comparison?
I got told I looked like a beaver because of my overbite.
I don't smile with my mouth open anymore cause that just made me so self concious about it.
That Stuff Holds On Tight
Being ditched and teased for being fat- 115 pounds later, my body dysmorphia doesn't allow myself to see how hard I worked. I still see a fat kid. My excess skin doesn't help. I'm also suspicious of those who genuinely want to get close to me
It's Like, Why Would You Say Anything?
A woman who I'd sat next to on a train once commented on how bad my acne was and that I should go to a doctor. The whole time she had almost like a strange mocking smile as well. I really wish I'd had the thinking to say how much of a sh-tty comment it was but instead sort of clammed up. Has stuck with me a lot for some reason, maybe because it was just such a random horrible thing to say to someone that sticks out.
Sometimes people can just be d-cks...
Hating On What You Love
I was gushing to my brother about a game I just got and how I heard it was incredible. He cuts me off mid-sentence (one of my biggest peeves) to say "yeah, I hate that game. I watched it. Looks boring." That game went on to become one of my favorites of all time. Perhaps less of a direct insult, but more of one directed towards my interests and passions. I still want to punch him for that one.
So I Technically Weigh As Much As Two People?
A couple of years ago I weighed myself while my mom was around and she saw the result and said she weighed that much when she was pregnant. I don't know why she had to say that but I've been self conscious about everything ever since. I never even viewed myself as fat or too big until she said that.
Some People Aren't Meant To Work With Kids
A classmate's mom told me "you're just annoying" while chaperoning a school trip when I was 10 or 11. I basically turned completely inward and stopped talking to new people socially for decades afterward.
Yikes. The worst thing is that she almost definitely doesn't remember any of that.
It's Like, Why Would You Even Say Anything?
"Like, why did you even go to Vegas? You're so boring. I bet you ruined it for your friends." - My coworker, completely 100% unprompted, weeks after I had returned. My other coworkers jumped in basically immediately and called her out, but the damage was done. Years later I still can't help but label myself as the boring friend.
How Do You Escape This? Death.
Not necessarily one insult, but my mother destroyed my self-esteem and self-confidence over the course of my life from a young age. Never-ending snark, put-downs, insults, patronizing comments, disdain... even after I'd got my degree, a job, a house, it never ended. According to her I was stupid, didn't know what I was talking about, didn't work hard, only did things to impress people, I was always trying to "rise above my station" (whatever the hell that means), exaggerating, making stuff up... I couldn't win. Nothing I did was good enough.
If she could find a way to sh-t on something, she'd sh-t on it.
Got my degree? "I don't know why you need a degree, it's a waste of bloody time, I got a job without a degree, anyone can get a job. Besides, it's not that hard to get a degree so stop showing off." (Mum left school at 14 with no academic qualifications).
Won a total of 20 awards at work? "They must be giving them out to anyone who wants one." (Mum never won an award for anything in her life).
Lost 95 pounds over two years? "You always were a fat pig." (Mum was at least 50 pounds overweight).
I worked in newspapers doing editing and layout. "That's not a proper job, you should have a proper job like your sister's boyfriend." (The now thankfully ex-boyfriend was sh-t thick, racist, lived on Stella and dope and drove a truck for a living. He'd also been in prison for theft. But that's OK, he has a "proper job".)
I was telling a cousin about life in a newspaper office as she was interested in journalism. My mum comes over. "Don't listen to him, he lies all the time, it's not really like that in his office, he's just trying to impress you." Cousin: "What the f-ck?" (Needless to say, mum had zero idea about working in newspapers.)
She died last year, and although I'm sad for my sis who hasn't got over her death, I don't miss her at all. When my dad died in 2017 I spoke at his funeral. I didn't speak at mum's. Several relatives thought it was because I was so upset; I simply couldn't think of a nice thing to say about her.
It took me till the age of 45 to realise she was one of the dumbest, ignorant, narrow-minded and nastiest people I've ever had the misfortune to meet, let alone be related to.
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