It's hard to imagine your child as anything than what you've known them as. If you spend all weekend with them and they act like little monsters the entire time, you might shed a small tear for their teacher come Monday morning. However, one positively glowing parent-techer conference later you might question who your child really is.
Just like these stories from these parents below.
Reddit user, u/F-ckingCraigslist, wanted to hear when your brain broke when they asked:
Parents of Reddit, what's your best "Wait a sec... Is that my child?" moment?
Secretly Learning All The Skills
homer simpson GIFGiphyOur son's in choir, graduated high school earlier this year. He's an actor, noodles on the guitar ... a performer in general. Back in his junior year, one of his friends was graduating, and the seniors — if they want — get a solo at the final performance. So it's his friend's turn, and she has a piece to sing with our son on accompaniment.
Cool, cool, his mom and I say to each other. Must be an acoustic guitar up there on stage, and he'll play that while he sings. But, no. He sits at the piano. And then PROCEEDS TO PLAY the piano while she sings her piece. His mom and I just look at each other gobsmacked ... did you know?? Nope, no idea ... neither of us had any idea he knew how to play.
Not exactly sure how he snuck that past us; we searched his bedroom, found no hidden piano.
Ooh, Baby I Love Your Way
When my daughter's preschool teacher related to me that one day during class when her cell phone rang, all the kids wanted to know who it was. It was her husband, Peter, so the teacher said "It's Peter." The kids started having fun with that and ribbing her. They said "Is it Peter Rabbit?!" And, "Is it Peter Pan?!" And "Is it Peter Cottontail?!" The laughter subsided and then my quiet little kid chimes in with "Is it Peter Frampton?!"
Laughter Followed By Confusion
Christmas day I was playing with my kid and her new dragons and unicorns. My character asked why he couldn't see the new baby
"Because you're a d-ckhead"
Lots of laughing followed up with asking how she knew that word
Being Honest About Your Mess
My four yr old walked in her mess of a room and said, "What a sh-t show."
No question she's mine.
Yeah, Forgetting Your Child Is Definitely Up There
Put my youngest in the bassinet in the kitchen and put the other kids down for naps. When I came back in the kitchen, I started to cooked dinner. Walked by the [bassinet], and screamed because there was a baby there looking at me. Took a good 10 seconds to remember I gave birth to a third baby 4 weeks earlier. I needed more sleep.
Stepping Up To The Big Stage
season 4 singing GIFGiphyIn third grade my kid was in after school daycare that gave free guitar lessons. They held an end-of-term concert where kids got to show off what they learned.
First kid gets up. "Johnny will now play Yankee Doodle." Pluck pluck strum. Then we all clapped.
Next kid gets up. "Jimmy will play Twinkle Twinkle." Strum strum pluck. Then we all clapped.
The concert went along like this. Kid songs. Kid strumming. Obligatory claps.
My kid was last. "Buttrock Jr. will play Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne."
The whole audience kinda chuckled in a WTF manner, me included.
Kid got up there in his button-up shirt and khakis, totally nonchalant. He was so little that his feet barely touched the floor.
He started with the song's beginning dun-duns, and then f-cking slayed it.
Why Would He Even Be Allowed To Watch That?
My sons favorite movie when he was 4 was Braveheart. In Walmart I hear people laughing and then very loudly, "....OUR FREEDOM" as my kid in his best William Wallace runs down the aisle with a pool noodle aloft.
You Have No Idea What You're Doing
I imagine for our mother it was my sister throat punching the dentist and telling them they have no idea what they're doing at 8 years old.
Selling Your Daughter Down The Road
I was at a children's museum with my two toddlers (about 2 years and 4 years). The younger one, my daughter, was playing in a communal area with some other small toddlers. I was sitting off to the side watching, but she was in her own world so no one could have known I belonged to her at that point.
Another little girl walked up and started playing with the toys my daughter was using. My daughter slowly turned her head and the look I saw in her eyes was, well, calculated. She stared at the little girl for a moment, reached out, placed her hand on the girl's shoulder, then pushed hard and yelled "NO, MINE!" right in the girl's face, then turned back to the toys and began playing innocently.
There was another mom sitting next to me that witnessed the entire event and I could see the judgement festering inside her. So I quietly said, "oh man, who's kid is that? They should teach their kids some manners." The other mom definitely agreed and we sat there judging for a few more minutes until I got up, took my daughter's hand and walked away.
No, I'm not a good parent sometimes.
An Angel In The Class, At Home A Total A**
season 4 pick up line GIFGiphyMost parent/teacher conferences. They describe how awesome my kids are and that they love having them in their classes. They then describe some of the exemplary behaviors they exhibit in class.
I look at my wife and we both wonder why they can do it at school but act like barbarians at home.
Pinocchio
Storytime - I was making the rounds of seeing each kids' teacher/classroom during Open House and started with the youngest who was in Kindergarten. His older sister quietly listened to her brother's Kindergarten teacher go on and on about what a sweet kid he was, how kind and thoughtful, how good he was at sharing...etc.
After hearing all of this, my daughter had a very puzzled look on her face considering the behavior of the aforementioned brother at home whispered very loudly to me, "Mom! I think his teacher is lying! That's not him at all!"
Will always be one of my most favorite memories.
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