Have you ever wondered what those plant-based Impossible Burgers are actually made of? How ever do they get that delicious meaty taste?
Well Ilona Braverman, a producer for fringe right-wing propaganda network Newsmax has the answer. It is of course microchips secretly added to the burgers by Microsoft founder Bill Gates.
Gates apparently wasn't able to control our brains to the level he desired just from the microchips and nanorobots conspiracy theorists claime he put in the COVID-19 vaccines, so he's moved onto Impossible Burgers now, or something.
See the segment below.
\u201cIn a wild segment, Newsmax producer claims the Impossible Burger is "planted with chips"\u201d— Jason Campbell (@Jason Campbell) 1665750170
Braverman's comments came during a segment on Newsmax's show The Balance called "Meat Eaters vs. Vegetarians," which in and of itself is so absurd it seems like it can't be real. Imagine having such a strong stance on what people eat you include it on your political talk show. How is this news?
Anyway, after host Eric Bolling remarked that he bet Braverman couldn't tell the difference between a regular burger and the famously delicious Impossible Burgers, she had plenty to say.
Her primary objection is the burgers were invented in a lab.
“This isn’t about the taste, though. It’s about knowing that you’re eating something that was made in a lab."
Of course, so was most of the food bought at any grocery store or restaurant.
Farm labs and food labs are a thing.
But still—fair enough.
But then she took a hard, hard left.
“I want to eat something...that’s the real thing that came from the Earth, the planet that was actually intended for us to be eating."
"Not out of a lab that’s made of I don’t know what - made of chemicals, implanted with chips… I don’t want to eat Bill Gates’ plate of fake meat.”
And now we've heard everything.
As you might guess, Twitter had plenty to say about Newsmax's latest conspiracy theory.
\u201c@JasonSCampbell Which is why I eat Beyond. No chips or wires. Just direct 12G which helps elevate my recliner.\u201d— Jason Campbell (@Jason Campbell) 1665750170
\u201c@JasonSCampbell Antibiotics, hormones, chemical feeds... Bits of noses, ears and scrotum. Mmmm.. Tasty tasty 'from the earth' meat burgers ya'll.\u201d— Jason Campbell (@Jason Campbell) 1665750170
\u201c@JasonSCampbell I think she's on to something. No, wait, I mean I think she's on something.\u201d— Jason Campbell (@Jason Campbell) 1665750170
\u201cBrain worms, all the way down the line.\u201d— Justin Baragona (@Justin Baragona) 1665752287
\u201c@JasonSCampbell @oneunderscore__ She just doesn't want to eat anything "made in a lab" with "chemicals." So, food. She doesn't want to eat food.\u201d— Jason Campbell (@Jason Campbell) 1665750170
\u201c@JasonSCampbell @oneunderscore__ @ImpossibleFoods this has affected my views on your product, and I\u2019ll maintain those concerns unless of course you were to sue for defamation in which case I believe you and we\u2019re good.\u201d— Jason Campbell (@Jason Campbell) 1665750170
\u201cI wonder if the folks at Impossible have called up Dominion yet for their lawyer's phone number.\u201d— Kaili Joy Gray (@Kaili Joy Gray) 1665775054
\u201c@JasonSCampbell The ingredients for a vegan sausage are listed right there on the pack but you can't tell me what's in a meat sausage. Nobody has any idea what goes into a meat sausage. What part of the animal is that?\u201d— Jason Campbell (@Jason Campbell) 1665750170
\u201c@JasonSCampbell Well, that explains all the crunchiness.\n\nHey @ImpossibleFoods, you should do a Dominion style lawsuit and sue @Newsmax for defamation.\u201d— Jason Campbell (@Jason Campbell) 1665750170
\u201c@JasonSCampbell I want to eat "the real thing" while discussing the meat at Burger King...\u201d— Jason Campbell (@Jason Campbell) 1665750170
\u201cMicrochips in masks, microchips in the vaccine, microchips in my vegan burgers, all these (made-up) ways to create sophisticated long-term tracking into super cheap goods and I still can't get a smartphone battery that gets me through the day\u201d— Jeff Veillette (@Jeff Veillette) 1665766622
Braverman is right about one thing though.
Bill Gates is involved with Impossible Burger as an investor.
So is Serena Williams, so Braverman will probably claim next the burgers are full of microscopic tennis balls or something.
@gseabhac/Bluesky
@wardhog/Bluesky
@vagabondvivant.com/Bluesky
High Five Top Gun GIF 
children of men GIF 
Mask Zorro GIF 
Jurassic Park Opening GIF by Regal 
