People Share The Most NSFW Secrets They've Ever Learned About The Military

The military is littered with secrets, and I love secrets. Tell me more...

Hey Girl

"Been in for a long while now, the most apt descriptor I've heard:"

"'Gayest bunch of straight dudes you'll ever meet.'"

Tak_Jaehon

Baby Guards

"Our Air Force’s most critical asset, nuclear weapons, are primarily guarded by a bunch of really bored teenagers."

it_helper

"Navy is the same. The guy that Naruto runs to the galley is the same one that stands watch over the nuclear reactor."

satanyourdarklord

"Lowest ranks pull guard duties more often."

"Who's the lowest rank? That baby faced 18 year old who just joined up."

"Guard duties are up there as one of the most bone taskings going."

Daewoo40

The Side Hustle

"Sometimes the guy that administers the drug test is the same one that you get the drugs from."

Lazy-Plum-19

"I was our unit's drug test guy. I smoked weed every day because I obviously would not drug test myself. I was also really good at it so they wouldn't give the job to someone else. I could get our tests done and completed without mistakes in like 1/5 of the time of my predecessor. Didn't sell drugs, but I've given plenty away."

Changnesia_survivor

Oh My

"Swingers exist on every single base in the world, in Sigonella, they would use different boxes of detergent in the windows to show what they were into and what age range they were looking for. Patrolling the housing area became much more interesting when you see who lives in the houses and what they’re into."

catfartzz

Multi-Purpose

"The food boxes that come in literally say 'For prison and military use only.'"

BlackLotus8888

"My husband was watching a documentary with people in prison and was like hey we have the same blankets on the ship."

PricklyPix

No matter who eats it, it's been said nobody thinks any of that food tastes good.

How many?

"I was selected 6 times in a row to be a urinalysis checker. Have seen over 2000 penises involuntarily."

Jarhead-Coffee

Bad Intentions

"The number of people who get sick and tired of being in the service who will go out and do some drug or another to get kicked out. During our Iraq/Afghanistan years, you wouldn't believe how many people would purposely pee hot or, females would intentionally get pregnant to get out of going."

Blackhawk-388

Not Sexy

"A friend of mine in the special forces told me since they are out in the field a lot, they get plenty of ticks. And while you can inspect yourself fairly well, you can’t inspect everything, so they pair up and spread their cheeks, and your mate has to stare into your anus to check you for ticks in there. Not very glamorous."

Litenpes

Health Issues

"Looooooottttts of chlamydia."

Triatomine

"My unit in Okinawa had the highest STD rate for the island. I was so glad I wasn't a part of any of that."

FightingNymph

Trashed

"Our oceans are loaded with garbage. LOADED."

"I would watch the long trail of garbage follow my ship, in the wake, as crew dumped the s**t off the fantail. Every single day. Miles and miles of trash. And this was just one ship. This was just one nation. Our oceans are full of garbage that will take centuries to erode. Our waters are littered with sh*t that fish are eating and dying on."

eyehate

Sounds like there is A LOT of fraternization in our Armed services.

Be careful out there.